Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14, Episode 3 Recap: Blow Up Dolls and Blowout Fights

Photo Credit: Dave Kotinsky via Getty Images

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14, Episode 3 recap, where the dead zone of the ocean meets the Jersey Shore. The storylines that take place here rarely thrive, including last week’s beautiful celebration of Nate’s still-intact life. On this week’s episode, titled “Shore-ing Up Sides,” alliances shift, as the college-aged kids drift. While watching, I’ve never wished for a high-tide event more, but alas, the ocean was not on board to help cease the bickering that went down on RHONJ Season 14, Episode 3.

Let’s talk about Tre, baby

As the cast wakes up, repeatedly clocking the beautiful day, John asks Jen where she took off during Nate’s party. “You know where I went,” she responds, adding, “I went to go talk to Teresa.” Jen then broaches the Season 13 Tre take-down narrative. “I remember saying to those guys, you came in with your big manilla envelopes, and you didn’t even open them.”

Jen then shares that she found the whole thing crazy. At this, Rachel’s eyebrows raise, and in the privacy of her confessional, she fought back. “Not so long ago, Jen was saying that she didn’t even want to be in the same room as Luis and Teresa. So I’m a little confused how we got from there, to sitting together and laughing for hours at a time,” she questions.

Back at the table, Jen also explains Tre’s drug-dealing comments against John. “She said that she was talking about him from when he was 17 or 16, or however old,” Jen says. Rachel shuts her down though, saying that “it’s a crock of sh*t.” Basically, Rachel finds Jen “stupid” for giving Teresa “the time of day to defend herself.”

Old rumors, same hurts

Over at the Gorga’s, Margaret is following up with the food trucks that she ordered for Joe’s Italian-themed birthday party. As Melissa sits down, Marge mentions that Dolores feels bad for Jennifer. You see, the Aydins were not invited to Joe’s party, so when Dolores leaves their home to attend this event, Jennifer would be left home alone. On this, Melissa responds “I mean, come on.”

Back at Jennifer’s, Dolores tries to convince her costar to have a chat with Melissa. Jennifer’s not eager though, noting that she’s “gone up to” Melissa “every single time” that they’ve fought. A montage follows, somewhat proving Jennifer’s point. However, Melissa never reciprocates this, says Jennifer, as the cameras cut to Melissa, telling Margaret that she’s actually tried a few times to make peace with Jennifer.

Peace has been hard for Melissa, due to Jennifer’s involvement with the “Melissa’s cheating” rumors. On these rumors, Jennifer’s labeling herself as the scapegoat. She explains that “Danielle is the one who said it when it came from Margaret. I’m so sick of them getting away with never taking accountability.”

Taking matters into his own hands, Joe decides that he’s going to call Bill. In this call, Joe extends an olive branch, inviting Bill to his birthday party. However, Bill says no. He’s got his wife’s back now.

Joe calls, and an “ugly mother f*cker” is clocked

The camera’s head back inland, showing a very emotional Giudice house. Inside, Gabriella is preparing to leave for college, and one FaceTime call from her Dad sets many tears into motion. Luis and Joe Giudice have a friendly exchange. It’s then revealed that Luis is helping to pay for Gabriella’s college expenses.

When her daughters exit the scene, Teresa and Luis sit down outside to quickly rehash Tre’s comments about John. Luis has no time for a “loser” like him, labeling John as an “ugly mother f*cker. As for Teresa, she clarifies that she doesn’t believe John has any drug issues now. But she does think that he’s acting a bit like “the Godfather,” yet she’s not concerned, as her love bubble is intact, and that’s all that matters.

The gift that better not keep on giving

RHONJ Season 14, Episode 3
Photo Credit: YouTube TV via Bravo

Returning to the shore, everyone’s getting ready for Joe’s birthday party. John’s bought Joe a blow-up doll, so that’s coming along as well. Once the doll and the guests arrive at Joe’s festivities, Joe sits down with his bruhs and brings up Paulie’s beef with John. Overall though, the men are fine, and laughter even ensues, courtesy of double-sided dildos.

The montage of Tre’s dorters left us all feeling old

Back inland, Teresa and Luis take their family out for dinner, further celebrating Gabriella’s upcoming launch from their nest. Here, Tre’s dorters speak the sweetest words to each other, and then a montage of Gabriella emerges, reminding us all that we’ve literally grown up alongside this family. Not a dry eye was found. Including mine.

Engagements and emerging enemies

Over at the shore, it’s time for body shots on the blow-up doll, but not for the Aydins. Instead, this family took to the boardwalk for games and giggles. Cutting back to the party, Frank’s checking in with Dolores and Paulie, letting them know that he’s about to propose to Brittany Mattessich. Thankfully, everyone’s happy about this.

Not thrilled at this party though is Margaret, who questions Jen about her friendship with Teresa. Jackie joins, asking why Margaret is “so worked up” over this. This angers Marge. However, Jen’s fuse begins to ignite as well.

“I ain’t your soldier,” Jen tells Margaret. At this, Rachel jumps in and explains Margaret’s frustrations. Jen listens, but she then responds with “I got you, but I’m not gonna be you.”

Rachel cries. Jen Is playing nice with Teresa, and that stings. As for Jen, she just wants to be a good friend to all. Unable to win, Jen leaves Joe’s party, right as the credits begin to roll.

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 continues every Sunday on Bravo at 8/7c.