Comscore

Author Archive

Lisa Vanderpump Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Last week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills spawned the new national trend for screaming “GOOOOODBYYYE KYLE” anywhere any everywhere, whenever someone you don’t like is around. For instance when HarryHamlin said it to Lisa Rinna on Instagram! Well, that was last week’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, but tonight we get to see the fallout in the immediate aftermath of Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards‘ insane fight.

As LVP’s birthday approaches she struggles with her emotions towards the women who are supposed to be her friends – especially Kyle. Lisa decides to keep her distance from the group to avoid anymore unseemly confrontations about how she might be behind PuppyGate, or TabloidGate – or whatever the hell this week’s gate is. 

Raquel Leviss

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.

Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.

Kristen Doute & Lala Kent

On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules the crew spends their last precious hours in Mexico and tries to make the best of the open bars and lack of responsibility. How this differs from their regular life I’m not sure — I guess there’s a beach?

After their FOMO fight Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark try to put a bandaid on their issues because they love each other more than they love booze. I think…  Also wanting to repair their relationship after a a huge fight Tom Schwartz tries to woo Katie Maloney by planning a sexy night full of Dorito breath and muumuus. I feel like minus the muumuu and the  Mexican hotel room this is what my high school boyfriend would consider romance. 

NeNe Leakes

Real Housewives Of Atlanta is really milking the everyone vs. NeNe Leakes scenario for all it’s worth – and I am so glad! NeNe has been prancing around like Marie Antoinette with her wigs piled high on her fake haughty head and it’s time for a new queen [hair flip!]. Or no queen, and just a equal well-connected cast of women who have fun, light drama, and interesting lives.

Seriously, though, I’m excited by the insurgency of the rest of the cast with their unwillingness to uphold the narrative that NeNe has immunity. She doesn’t nor should she. It’s more than about time that NeNe’s wig glue melted! NeNe is essentially mad for the sake of being mad  (or maybe, benefit of the doubt: there’s some stuff we, the viewers, didn’t see).

After a [low-rated, boring ass] season of making everything about how NeNe is feeling and not upsetting the NeNe cart, NeNe’s now accusing everyone of turning on her. She expects Andy Cohen to support her to get the other women in line. But it’s not going to go that way. Not this time! 

Luann de Lesseps

Last night the Real Housewives Of New York headed to the Berkshires and they weren’t there 15 minutes before drama erupted over who has to wake up in the shark room. Ladies – Dorinda Medley made it nice, the least you can do is start out behaving!

Ramona Singer is actually looking forward to the Berkshires this year, because she thinks she’s “good with everyone.” Apparently she’s forgotten that Bethenny Frankel has the memory of an elephant when it comes to other people offending her. And that Luann de Lesseps has an elephantine ego that will not be satisfied with peanuts. Perhaps Ramona’s disaster date gave her a new frame of reference for the people in her lives?

Speaking of dates, Bethenny is headed to Boston to visit the guy she’s dating. I’m confused: at the clambake Bethenny was just considering going on her first post-Dennis date, with a man she’d met before Dennis passed, even though she was engaged to Dennis? Now she’s in a full fledged relationship which has “really heated up” since Dennis died? 

Tinsley Mortimer

If you thought Blue Stone Manor and the annual Real Housewives Of New York trip to the Berkshires (aka The Berzerkshires) was scary when decorated with 300,000 Santas, imagine it on Halloween! That’s right. The Real Housewives Of New York are choosing All Hallows Eve to haunt its already haunted halls. Does a haunting on top of a haunting make a house ghost-free? Like two wrongs make a right?

Whatever – I’m excited. I mean, the preview had Ramona Singer commenting that one of Dorinda Medley‘s growling zombie decorations “looks like Bethenny crying,” so you know this is gonna be amazing. 

Kyle Richards

Lord this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is making me reach for the CBD oil faster than Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave can turn on a friend and spin on a bike!

It all ends badly, but we start out lovely by watching Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers open their wedding presents. I wished we could’ve seen them unwrap the tequila from Dorit Kemsleybut alas Dorit  probably ‘conveniently forgot’ the wedding gift, just like she conveniently forgets to tell her so-called close friend that she gave her dog away to a woman she kinda knows, or doesn’t know, or is an associate of PK’s or is you know, a shelter named A Very Lovely Random Woman.

Lisa Vanderpump

In preparation for tonight’s EPIC episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills I have been yelling “GOODBYYYYYE, KYLE!” whenever something annoying happens, and tonight we finally see Kyle Richards thrown out of Villa Rosa after accusing Lisa Vanderpump of planting stories in the tabloids about Dorit Kemsley.

Of course this being Bravo, before epic conformation some other stuff happened. Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers celebrate their newlywed status not by taking a honeymoon, but by spending some quality time at home “nesting.” Which probably means having sex like 3 times a day instead of once. Keep doing you, and Aaron, Denise!