Back in July,
AC Slater Mario Lopez got skewered (and rightfully so) because he made some ignorant comments about parenting and transgender children. Mario, a father of three, suggested that it is “dangerous” for parents to label a child as transgender. He also said something confusing about how young children don’t know anything about sexuality so they can’t possibly decide that they are transgender.
Mario seems to have confused “gender identity” with “sexual orientation.” Someone get Mario Billie Lee’s phone number, because he is in serious need of her tutelage. Mario has since issued an apology. As. He. Should. In the wake of Mario’s ignorant comments, Cindy Barshop, from Season 4 of the Real Housewives of New York opened up about her own transgender child.
Confession: I can sit through 1oo’s of hours of “unscripted television,” but I have never once made it through an awards show. Except maybe the MTV VMAs one year while I was in college. And even then, I only made it through because I was too hung over to move from the couch where my roommates were watching.
However, I do find the People’s Choice Awards fascinating. Because the awards are voted on by the viewers, it makes for some… interesting results. For example, last year’s nominees for “Drama Movie of the Year” included Red Sparrow and A Quiet Place – both legitimate movies with plots and acting and character development. Wanna know what movie won? “Fifty Shades Freed.” That’s right, we the viewers chose soft porn over a movie starring Academy Award-winning Jennifer Lawrence and one starring America’s favorite human, Jim Halpert. America’s voting habits make me nervous.
Brittany Cartwright first showed up on Vanderpump Rules as a just another in a long, long line of Jax Taylor’s
conquests love interests. She drove from Kentucky to California, her car stuffed to the brim with crop tops, beer cheese, and dogs the approximate size of small rats to join the staff at SUR. Brittany is kind of like the epitome of a modern day fairy tale – from Hooters waitress to reality tv persona!
Personally, I didn’t expect Brittany to last as many seasons as she has. Mostly because Jax is gross and can’t keep it in his pants. And he kind of seems like a jerk. I thought she’d high-tail it back down South and immediately marry a good ole’ Kentucky boy, and they would ride off together on the back of his John Deere to make gorgeous, unintelligible babies together. Honestly, have you ever heard a little kid with a thick Southern accent? It’s like listening to a baby Martian. Super cute, but I have no idea what they are saying.
There are very few things in this life that I am 100% certain about. I am 100% certain that if I am running late, there will be traffic. I am 100% certain that when I’m “not drinking tonight,” I will have consumed 10 tequila shots by 9 pm. I am also 100% certain that Scheana Marie involves herself in very public, and messy, romantic entanglements for dramatic purposes.
First, there was poor Mike Shay. Scheana and Mike had a marriage that was over before it really even begun. But the blessed union put her front and center on Vanderpump Rules for the majority of that season, and that’s all that really matters. I wonder if Scheana is bitter about the fact that Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor’s wedding was an over-the-top extravaganza paid for by sponsored Instagram posts, and all Scheana got was a crop-top wedding dress and a bunch of bedazzled silk roses? After her divorce from Mike, she moved on to Rob Valletta, whose name she mentioned at every. Possible. Opportunity. Then, last season, she badgered poor Adam Spott into “dating” her, and immediately tried to make him jealous by making out with Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise-alum, Adam’s friend, Robby Hayes.
As we all know, Bethenny Frankel has chosen to retire from the Real Housewives of New York. And we all know about her retirement because she has announced said retirement publicly and loudly, in a manner designed to garner the most publicity for her “upcoming projects” as possible. So, pretty on-brand for B.
Some of us are mourning the loss of the biggest B in New York. Some of us are probably relieved to never have to see a Skinnygirl-branded product or Skinnygirl-themed party on our screens again. Of course, her fellow cast-members are eager to
use Bethenny’s departure to get social media traffic tell us how they feel about Bethenny’s retirement.
Remember when it was all “about Tom?” I kind of miss that. Because these days, it’s all about Bethenny Frankel. First, to the shock of fans and, apparently, cast mates, she announced her departure from the Real Housewives of New York.
Then, she broke Twitter with her announcement that she “is the only one that is actually married,” causing endless speculation that she secretly married her current boyfriend, Paul Bernon. She also tagged all of her castmates in her announcement. Reminder: all of her castmates are single and desperate not to be single. Well, all except Dorinda Medly, She wouldn’t marry boyfriend John Mahdessian and for all the free dry cleaning and Christmas décor in the world.
It is always tough when a new housewife joins a cast. Most of these people are not actually friends offscreen. They are casual acquaintances at best. So when a new lady gets thrown into the mix, you never know if there will be chemistry or not. And last season, there was decidedly not chemistry with Barbara Kavovit and the rest of the Real Housewives of New York. I know what you’re thinking… “Barbara who?” Right there with, ya’, friends. Literally the only thing I remember about Babs is the obscene amount of body glitter she wore during the reunion.
Barbara’s bad chemistry is our good fortune, because now we get to spend the off-season speculating about whether we will get a replacement New York Housewife for next season. Allegedly, Ramona Singer wants her good friend Missy Pool to join the cast. Missy is the ex-girlfriend of Tom D’Agostino, the man to whom Luann de Lesseps was married for 2.2 seconds. If that is true, either Ramona is a terrible person or she really, really hates LuAnn. Or both.
I was going to start this article by listing all the divorced Real Housewives, just to show how tough it is to be on reality TV and remain married. But listing all the happily married couples would literally take less time and space. Is that because reality TV stars are generally pretty insane (and I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course)? Or is it because the strain of having cameras in one’s face 24/7 is just too much for a marriage to handle?
Its a classic chicken/egg dilemma. What comes first? The toxic mess of a marriage or Bravo cameras?