I’m running late today (as if that is not an affliction of everyday). I blame Kristen Doute. Or Jax Taylor – I truly vacillate between which one of the two is more whorerendous. See what I did there – it’s subtlety – which is something Vanderpump Rules is not known for. So let’s carry-on recapping this reunion.
Lots ‘o weird last night! Why Kristen’s makeup is suddenly making her look like a 48-year-old cougar? Perhaps it was sitting in the youthful glow of James Kennedy. Perhaps it was her dark soul emanating through her pores. You don’t believe me – it happened to Jax too. Take a look at season 1 Jax. Is that the same man you ask? I mean it could be… I wouldn’t put ‘zombie recreation Jax’ past the whodunits at Bravo.
Also, weird? Stassi Schroeder everything. So many unsaid things, so many allusions, so many not adding ups. We’re still dismantling the secrets of Tom 1 and Miami Girl; I don’t care – I want to know about the Super-Secret Life of Stassi Schroeder.
Throw her to the wolves and she’ll return as Woman of the Year! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump was honored with title of Woman of the Year by the California State Assembly for her “dedication to the business community,” according to RumorFix. Her business dedication credentials? Owning three local restaurants suffices, I guess. Oh – and being the reigning queen of reality TV!
As part of Women’s History Month, Assemblyman Richard Bloom (D-Santa Monica) awarded Lisa with an “official Resolution” (looks like a run of the mill plaque, but what do I know?).
I think it’s safe to say that no one is safe from rumors, backstabbing, or shade throwing on this season of Real Housewives of Atlanta! Cynthia Bailey has been gossiping about Phaedra Parks’ alleged Mr.C chocolate cravings, and Phaedra is stirring the pot regarding Kandi Burruss’ loyalties. Phaedra has been venting to Porsha Williams about how she feels her friend is siding with Apollo because of his friendship with Kandi’s husband Todd. As for Kenya Moore, she’s just waving her Krayonce flag and twirling with delight not to be the this season’s main target, while NeNe Leakes channels her inner cruise director…on a boat ride straight into the heart of darkness!
Kandi, like her counterparts, seems to suffer from the innate inability to be able to dish it, but not so much take it. In the RHOA realm, “it” refers to any combination of whispers, scandals, and busy body chit-chat where the only applicable rule is “talk with me about anyone but don’t talk with anyone about me.” Sixth grade social rules in their most basic form, for sure!
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop once again took a turn for the ratchet. We preheat with women falling all over men who don’t give two flips about them, mix in some horrific wig courtesy of Chrissy Monroe, and serve with a half-baked brawl at some random nightclub. Later, rinse, repeat!
Not surprisingly, Yandy Smith is still livid about Mendeecees’ false claim that their son was in the emergency room just to get her to answer the phone. That’s normal, right? She’s catching up with Kimbella (welcome back!) who I would never have recognized, and she shares that she has barely spoken to Mendeecees in the last week because she’s so mad. Kimbella is shocked to hear about Mendeecees’ stunt and Yandy’s subsequent fight with his assistant. However, Kimbella wonders if Mendeecees may have felt disrespected. Perhaps he’s owed an apology? Like Yandy, I am perplexed by Kimbella’s take on the situation.
Vanderpump Rules is known for its shock value, but this season’s reunion will be the most shocking yet! Reflecting on the season and dishing on what to expect from the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix confirm the drama is intense, but surprisingly it didn’t get too ugly and most everyone kept it civil.
Ariana says that although Stassi Schroeder “wanted to” stage a big dramatic showdown and storm off stage, she didn’t! “It’s really surprising actually,” agrees Tom. “I’m surprised when Stassi came out, she didn’t storm off.”
What’s an ex-reality star to do when she’s bored and needs to pay for more plastic surgery? Film another reality show, of course! Taylor Armstrong just announced she is currently filming again and ready to show off her new life and marriage to John Bluher. Because showing off their amazing relationship worked so well before…
Taylor and John (who has adopted Taylor’s daughter Kennedy) are filming a positive, family-oriented reality show about their life together in Vail, Colorado. Which includes a lot of skiing! And no mention of that nasty little home-wrecking situation that got their relationship started…