Last night’s Vanderpump Rules finale truly felt like it was the end of an era. And I’m ready to send Jax Taylor off into the abyss, where surely he will go after yelling in Lisa Vanderpump‘s face that this is ‘his show’. Lisa has already endured that type of malarky with Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills so she’ll certainly not put up with it from underling upstarts living in Valley Village (ahem.. Brandi!)
Tom 1 and Tom 2, by compression, are now well on their way to being restaurant moguls after signing onto the expansion of Tom Tom. They are moving into adulthood (finally!), while Jax, don’t bother blessing his cold dead heart, isn’t moving at all. He’s trapped in a fishbowl of his own drool, constantly regurgitating his own nonsense.
Jax can pretend all he wants that he’s tired of Tom 1, but what Jax is really tired of is Tom 1 being successful. Tom and Jax came up together as bartenders at SUR. For most of Vanderpump Rules Jax’s drama has driven things; yet it is Tom who was given the nudge by Lisa.
Well, hell hath surely frozen over and the next thing we’ll be celebrating on Vanderpump Rules is an ice skating party because I actually liked Katie Maloney this episode. Hold me – I am fainting from the vapors!
At least I’m reassured that the constant is my complete and utter disgust of Jax Taylor! Accidentally taking a bite of that moldy lasagna found in the back of your fridge during a dunk binge eat is more desirable!
After Jax went on a rage-text tirade and uninvited everyone from his pool party (like anyone wanted to go to begin with) Tom Sandoval decided to host his own party for the rejects. Unfortunately the list of rejects grew and grew until it was revenge of the rejects with Tom and Ariana Madix winding up with an amazing party while Jax and Brittany Cartwright had one of the sad little get-togethers you see at the end of an HGTV House Hunters episode when the couple claims they “LOVE” to entertain.
This season seems to be a reckoning on Vanderpump Rules. A washing the slate clean to prepare for the new and fresh, and the people getting hit the hardest are Jax Taylor and Scheana Marie. I welcome this.
For some bizarro reason Max Boyens hosts a beach clean-up at a public beach that gets regularly cleaned by the city. Then, because this makes total logical sense, everyone who shows up is swilling wine out of plastic solo cups. Erm. Look – I get it, they need to give Max something to DO besides women, but how about we get a little more filler about his backstory? Like who is this guy other than the person who’s presumably replacing Jax as the Number 3 guy in the TomSquared concoction.
Speaking of Jax, he does not attend because he it’s ridiculous to have to drive “4 hours,” polluting the environment to clean up a beach. He’s not wrong, but of course Brittany Cartwright is there. They could’ve taken the car pool lane, y’all!
It looks like 2020 is the year of the virtual reunion. Well, pretty much the virtual everything at this point. Real Housewives of Atlanta filmed a reunion via Zoom. The Tinger King cast filmed their reunion virtually as well. Now, it’s the Vanderpump Rules cast’s turn at the virtual reunion.
Just because the sit-down was filmed via webcam while the cast members quarantined safely at home, it doesn’t mean that they toned down the glam. They may have done their own hair and makeup, but you really can’t tell. They really went all out. All 392,252,155 of the cast members.
During last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Beau Clark proposed to Stassi Schroeder in a graveyard. This week, they’re still living it up in their engagement, but most likely, that will included continued bitching about Kristen Doute, the one (main) cast member excluded fromtheir celebration.
Scheana Marie asks Brett Caprioni to be her love interest in her music video. Most likely, she did this to bother Dayna Kathan, who has been seeing Brett. That’s probably going tot backfire on Scheana. The girl is having a rough season when it comes to her issues with Dayna.
James Kennedy has been on another apology tour this season on Vanderpump Rules. This is his storyline pretty much every season, but this time there’s a major difference. James’ last main supporter, his girlfriend Raquel Leviss, has finally had enough. She put her foot down and gave him an ultimatum. Either he stops drinking completely and goes to AA meetings, or she is out.
It seems like Raquel threatening to leave finally got through to James. His whole demeanor seems different, and his energy is much calmer. He has been going to meetings, staying sober, and appears to be working a recovery program. Part of working the program is making amends to those whom you have wronged, and James had big amends to make with Katie Maloney. On last week’s episode, he finally bit the bullet and offered Katie a surprisingly humble and convincing apology at the SUR-Tom Tom softball game. Even more surprising was Katie’s acceptance of his apology and agreement to dead their issues once and for all. So what made this apology different from all of the others that James has offered up in the past?
You guys we just got through another Vanderpump Rules wedding, and now we’re rushed right into another engagement. I just… don’t… think… I … can… take… it. I am fatigued, y’all. Fatigued! I feel about these weddings the way everyone else on this show feels about their friendships with Kristen Doute. I am wrung out on made-for-TV pseudo-happiness and forever afters.
The latest couple to plod towards the aisle escorted by all the Bravo trappings is Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark. Blah, blah, blah – beautiful proposal, fabulous vintage Tiffany ring (omg – swoon), followed by a fantastic surprise engagement party thrown by Lisa Vanderpump at Villa Rosa which made Brittany Cartwright, former princess bridezilla, jealous. Worth it just for that!
See Brittany is done bride-ing, and is now riding Jax Taylor for the rest of live-long days. She wanted a frog who turned into a prince, but what she got was a frog who turned into an ogre. But at least that ogre can push a lawnmower!
After over a month of Vanderpump Rules episodes leading up to this moment, Beau Clark finally proposes to Stassi Schroeder tonight. The big moment is actually the most Stassi proposal ever, in a graveyard, and filmed by a camera crew, of course.
Most of the cast is invited to celebrate the engagement at Lisa Vanderpump’s house. However, Kristen Doute did not make the cut, yet there’s an empty chair there, for everyone to awkwardly feel her presence. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright try to comfort Kristen for feeling left out, but something tells me she’s still going to be upset regardless.