Well, hell hath surely frozen over and the next thing we’ll be celebrating on Vanderpump Rules is an ice skating party because I actually liked Katie Maloney this episode. Hold me – I am fainting from the vapors!
At least I’m reassured that the constant is my complete and utter disgust of Jax Taylor! Accidentally taking a bite of that moldy lasagna found in the back of your fridge during a dunk binge eat is more desirable!
After Jax went on a rage-text tirade and uninvited everyone from his pool party (like anyone wanted to go to begin with) Tom Sandoval decided to host his own party for the rejects. Unfortunately the list of rejects grew and grew until it was revenge of the rejects with Tom and Ariana Madix winding up with an amazing party while Jax and Brittany Cartwright had one of the sad little get-togethers you see at the end of an HGTV House Hunters episode when the couple claims they “LOVE” to entertain.
Lala Kent has had a lot to say about her Vanderpump Rules castmates this season. She’s been battling against Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix in the press. He said Lala wasn’t a good friend to Ariana. Lala clapped back and she’s been shading them both ever since. During the season itself, Lala was unnecessarily cruel to Raquel Leviss on multiple occasions, but it seems like they’ve made up at this point. She’s also thrown some cheap shots at Scheana Marie, calling her a “slutty JoJo Siwa” because of her crop top and high ponytail.
On top of all that, she has been consistently vocal about her dislike for the new cast members who joined the show this season. Thank god for her private jet access. Otherwise, she might not have any friends in the cast.
This season seems to be a reckoning on Vanderpump Rules. A washing the slate clean to prepare for the new and fresh, and the people getting hit the hardest are Jax Taylor and Scheana Marie. I welcome this.
For some bizarro reason Max Boyens hosts a beach clean-up at a public beach that gets regularly cleaned by the city. Then, because this makes total logical sense, everyone who shows up is swilling wine out of plastic solo cups. Erm. Look – I get it, they need to give Max something to DO besides women, but how about we get a little more filler about his backstory? Like who is this guy other than the person who’s presumably replacing Jax as the Number 3 guy in the TomSquared concoction.
Speaking of Jax, he does not attend because he it’s ridiculous to have to drive “4 hours,” polluting the environment to clean up a beach. He’s not wrong, but of course Brittany Cartwright is there. They could’ve taken the car pool lane, y’all!
It looks like 2020 is the year of the virtual reunion. Well, pretty much the virtual everything at this point. Real Housewives of Atlanta filmed a reunion via Zoom. The Tinger King cast filmed their reunion virtually as well. Now, it’s the Vanderpump Rules cast’s turn at the virtual reunion.
Just because the sit-down was filmed via webcam while the cast members quarantined safely at home, it doesn’t mean that they toned down the glam. They may have done their own hair and makeup, but you really can’t tell. They really went all out. All 392,252,155 of the cast members.
During last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Beau Clark proposed to Stassi Schroeder in a graveyard. This week, they’re still living it up in their engagement, but most likely, that will included continued bitching about Kristen Doute, the one (main) cast member excluded fromtheir celebration.
Scheana Marie asks Brett Caprioni to be her love interest in her music video. Most likely, she did this to bother Dayna Kathan, who has been seeing Brett. That’s probably going tot backfire on Scheana. The girl is having a rough season when it comes to her issues with Dayna.
The kids from Vanderpump Rules have given us a whole different vibe this season. Can I even call them kids anymore? No, I guess I really can’t. We were lured into the show with messy breakups, cheating, flings, and physical violence. Those days are long gone and while there is still some drama,the cast has grown up. I mean, the drama hits a little different when people are arguing about who gets to be in their wedding. Speaking of, as if you didn’t already know (snort), Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright got married. Not only did they talk about it all season but the episode was quite the affair. They all bought houses, most notably Ariana Madix with Tom Sandoval and Katie Maloney with husband, Tom Schwartz. Finally, Stassi Schroeder and her fan fav of a boyfriend, Beau Clark, got engaged.
It’s no surprise that this tight knit crew came together to celebrate the event, like they did the others. But not everyone thinks the cast should be, well, as tight as they appear to be.
You guys we just got through another Vanderpump Rules wedding, and now we’re rushed right into another engagement. I just… don’t… think… I … can… take… it. I am fatigued, y’all. Fatigued! I feel about these weddings the way everyone else on this show feels about their friendships with Kristen Doute. I am wrung out on made-for-TV pseudo-happiness and forever afters.
The latest couple to plod towards the aisle escorted by all the Bravo trappings is Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark. Blah, blah, blah – beautiful proposal, fabulous vintage Tiffany ring (omg – swoon), followed by a fantastic surprise engagement party thrown by Lisa Vanderpump at Villa Rosa which made Brittany Cartwright, former princess bridezilla, jealous. Worth it just for that!
See Brittany is done bride-ing, and is now riding Jax Taylor for the rest of live-long days. She wanted a frog who turned into a prince, but what she got was a frog who turned into an ogre. But at least that ogre can push a lawnmower!
After over a month of Vanderpump Rules episodes leading up to this moment, Beau Clark finally proposes to Stassi Schroeder tonight. The big moment is actually the most Stassi proposal ever, in a graveyard, and filmed by a camera crew, of course.
Most of the cast is invited to celebrate the engagement at Lisa Vanderpump’s house. However, Kristen Doute did not make the cut, yet there’s an empty chair there, for everyone to awkwardly feel her presence. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright try to comfort Kristen for feeling left out, but something tells me she’s still going to be upset regardless.