Peace and harmony amongst the Vanderpump Rules Witches of WeHo trio of Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute and Katie Maloney was bound to end at some point. We’ve seen the three at odds many times before. For instance, when Kristen admitted to sleeping with Stassi’s ex-boyfriend, Jax Taylor. Or when Stassi treated Katie and Kristen like crap, moved to New York to be with Patrick Meagher, and then came groveling back when she couldn’t make it on her own.
However, the trio was in a good place last season. The only hitch happened to be Kristen’s
deadbeat boyfriend Brian Carter. Stassi and Katie made it loud and clear they felt Brian was taking advantage of Kristen, but Kristen wasn’t having it. Still, everything seemed fine between them. Until the past several months, that is.
We barely saw Kristen Doute’s relationship with Brian Carter on Vanderpump Rules. For a while, it just seemed like things were going well for them so it just wouldn’t make for interesting TV. Plus, he just really didn’t seem interested in filming.
Last season, we found out that Kristen pays the rent and Carter stole her wallet to use her credit cards. They broke up… but were still living together… and hooking up. And presumably, were both funded by Kristen. Now, it seems like they are finally done.
Whew – we have crossed the finish line with season 7 of Vanderpump Rules and I am here to report that this reunion did not need to be 3 parts. There – recap done!
OK, kidding. I actually felt there were some illuminating moments. Like the glimpse of Katie Maloney‘s hubris. Wowee-wow-WOW. Katie literally always sees herself as the victim. She blames James Kennedy for the internet hating her but the internet rightfully hated Katie long before her antics this season! As Tom 1 never really got a chance to say courtesy of James’ interrupitis – a germ passed from Kristen Doute – Katie has been a rancid bottle of ranch dressing since season 1. Katie’s OWN putrid behavior is the reason the Twitterverse rails on her – it has nothing to do with James or her weight (or her husband’s manhood – how is that not also body shaming?). Let’s just say Katie is giving marriage, ranch dressing, the internet, and humanity a bad name. Oh, and also clothing.
Tonight is the finale segment of the Vanderpump Rules reunion and after James Kennedy fled the stage there’s nothing else for them to do but discuss all the boring stuff none of us care about.
I’m totally over this season (and this cast). Subsequently, I am thrilled that this is the final episode of a long (and largely pointless season). So, I say pull the curtain on this mess and flip the script.
I’m having a visceral reaction to part 2 of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. It’s like Lord Of The Flies. James Kennedy is the pig they’re chasing across the island of the doomed until somebody, (probably Tom 2 if we’re being honest) winds up dismembered. Remember when this show was so fun?!
What I’ve come to realize is that these people – chiefly Katie Maloney, Jax Taylor, and Kristen Doute – live in an echo chamber of their own delusions. They can’t learn from experiences because they’ve blocked all the dissenting voices. Instead, they are deafened by the vortex of praise they offer each other. James isn’t even allowed to speak without Kristen cutting him off and screaming him down with some accusation or insult. Andy Cohen wonders why James so angry. Lisa Vanderpump decides it’s because James had a drink at lunch. Or maybe it’s as James said: so many people yelling at him constantly that he can’t breathe.
During Part 1 of the Season 7 reunion reunion, Vanderpump Rulescast memberKristen Doute revealed some not-so-shocking news. She confirmed that she and Brian Carter broke up.
We barely saw Carter on the show. At first, that seemed to be a good sign. No drama equals no screen time, right? Or maybe he was just busy with his non-reality TV job. Later, we learned that was not the case. Kristen revealed that Carter didn’t pay rent, she buys everything, and he even stole her wallet for a vacation one time. Soon after, every other mention of Carter was negative. Eventually, he got in a fight with Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney about his relationship with Kristen. So, will we get to watch a single Kristen on Season 8? Not if she has her way.
Last night was the Met Gala and also someone was thrown out of a PTA meeting at my kids’ school when things erupted into a full-on screaming match. Fittingly, it was also part 1 of Vanderpump Rules reunion – so yeah, busy night!
Also as if trying to straddle two events, like she straddles two worlds on Vanderpump Rules, Raquel Leviss‘s reunion dress was the very definition of the Met Gala theme “Camp,” boasting uber-exaggerated shoulders accented by a full duvet of ruffles. It was like a super amped up version of an Alice In Wonderland dress. I loved it. It was almost a perfect representation for the ridiculousness of this show. Raquel came to make a statement that she is here to stay.
Are you guys ready to saddle up and take a ride on the hot mess express? Good because that is what you can expect from the Vanderpump Rules Season 7 reunion. The cast of your guiltiest pleasure had major ups and downs during the season. The ups consisted of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright getting engaged. The downs were watching Lala Kent suffering over the loss of her father and
anything to do with Katie Maloney the constant ganging up on James Kennedy.
We saw Scheana Marie “single” for the first time ever, but somehow she managed to obsess over someone anyway. James’ girlfriend Raquel Leviss was an unnecessary target of the Witches of WeHo, mainly because she is pretty and thin… The poor thing didn’t really do anything to anyone. Kristen Doute was, god I don’t even know. Kristen, what in the fresh hell do you do every single day? Anystupidtshirtline, the reunion is going to treat us with three separate shows to wrap up Season 7.