Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave has been busy this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She helped propagate the dumbest storyline puppygate and told off a vulnerable Lisa Vanderpump. Teddi wore out her fingers out texting John Sessa Blizzard (I still don’t care). She also decided to pay a stylist who obviously hates her to try to level up with the other women. Oh, and did I mention she’s busy now Kyle Richards’ mouthpiece?
Remember earlier this season when she was complaining about doing LVP’s dirty work? Now she’s happily doing Kyle’s! For their first night out in Provence, the ladies went all out by wearing black. (I’m still not over the memory of Dorit Kemsely’s feather leather jacket). The women also tried something new by attempting to deliver in a scene. With Kyle at the helm now, she and Teddi tried to start some drama by calling out Lisa Rinna’s behavior at Farrah-ween. Honestly, I think the only person truly offended by Rinna’s awful Erika Jayne impersonation was Kyle. Yes, everyone was cringing. But Kim Richards even forgave Rinna! So, Kyle we get it. You need to harp on this because LVP has left the building you were personally traumatized. The only person on Kyle’s side here was Teddi.
Season 9 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is almost done (thankfully) and we are already preparing for Season 10. Rumors have been swirling since Lisa Vanderpump quit the show that Kathy Hilton would replace her and a couple of women will be fired from the show (yay).
One of the women rumored to be getting the ax is fan favorite Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave. The accountability coach and Kyle Richards’ puppet was at the center of the nonstop drama of puppygate. Instead of winning the hearts of fans and producers by trying to take down the queen LVP, she made herself public enemy number one (stealing the title from Dorit Kemsley).
Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills traveled to France to visit glorious Provence. Of course these women couldn’t just enjoy the sites and each other’s company, and a new Lisa was thrown under the Peugeot wheels!
Here we are at the Chateau Ventoux, which according to Lisa Rinna is “like Downton France Abbey” except in France an Abbey is a nunnery, so LOL. (If I’m wrong here don’t bother correcting me because I like my joke). The rooms are all beautiful. The surroundings are lush. And unlike when PK smothers her with potato chip crumbs and calls it a blanket, Dorit Kemsley feels like a princess. A real live European princess, who any moment will be woken from this nightmare by a prince who doesn’t have financial problems and will carpet their castle in athleisure wear made by Givenchy and Beverly Reach. Life, really will have purpose for this girl from London, Connecticut.
Tonight you can take the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills out of dog crap drama, but you can’t take the drama out of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – especially when they’re in France!
What starts out as a lovely vacation in an exclusive French villa, prompting Dorit Kemsley to exclaim that it feels like they’re all in Europe, quickly erupts into mayhem when Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave believes all the world’s – and all the Housewives’ – problems are her bones to pick. Lady get a life and let things go.
Much like King Edward VIII abandoning his post as the King of England, Lisa Vanderpump has abandoned her throne as the queen of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But Lisa did not abscond for love. She did it for a much less romantic reason…
In case you have a life, unlike me, are not following along at home, let’s quickly recap: Dorit Kemsley and fam adopted a dog from LVP’s rescue, Vanderpump Dogs. Dorit and PK Kemsley’s kids named said dog Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. I don’t get why they didn’t name the dog Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy so it rhymes, but they all have weird accents so maybe they don’t rhyme like the rest of the English-speaking world. I’m a little fuzzy on the rest of the facts, because this entire season of RHOBH basically revolved around #puppygate.
After much speculation, and what seems like a million discussions about “puppy gate,” Lisa Vanderpump made it official and quit the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She didn’t even attend the reunion, depriving her
former friends enemies the chance to attack again on camera. Still, I would have liked to see a calm, cool, and collected LVP at the reunion, chilling on a couch next to Lucy Lucy Apple Juice.
If we have learned anything from ‘puppy gate,” it is that no one should adopt a dog and ignore what the rules are in the adoption contract. Dorit Kemsley didn’t return Lucy, she instead allegedly
re-homed dropped Lucy at a shelter. Most of the drama from this season resulted from this act. Who leaked the story about Dorit and Lucy to the tabloids? Of course, most of the RHOBH Housewives believed it was Lisa, even though she passed a lie detector test. Was Lisa using Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave to spread the story about Dorit? Teddi, you may have heard, specializes in accountability. Sometimes.
Even though she dropped out of filming, Lisa Vanderpump was THE topic of conversation this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills thanks to the puppygate saga. Unlike most seasons, the ladies did not wrap up that storyline with any sort of peaceful resolve.
Instead, it dragged on to a point where most of the Housewives are not even on speaking terms with Lisa. Until this day. Months after filming wrapped. She showed up to the Season 9 premiere party and left early before her co-stars arrived. Lisa even had an awkward encounter with Kyle Richards while they were shopping. Needless to say, the anticipation was as high as it could be for an LVP reunion appearance, but did she show up? Did she film a separate segment? How did it all go down?
So, I’m not even sure what to write for you guys. For the first time ever, I might be at a loss for words. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion went down yesterday. This season we have suffered through Dorit Kemsley’s mesh
fetish wardrobe. We have analyzed truth-teller Teddy Mellencamp Arroyave’s texts. We continue to wonder if Harry Hamlin is being held against his will.
And now, we also lost Lisa Vanderpump. After months of speculation and writing #puppygate so many times my spellcheck quit without notice, the biggest riddle since “Who Shot J.R.?” might have been solved. Fans of the show wanted Lisa to have the last word and put
those bitches the ladies in their place. Now Andy Cohen has maybe given us the answer to the question, “Did she or didn’t she?”