This season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is all about confronting the past, isn't it! Last night was no exception.
Kenya Moore and her desperate to get screentime frienemy Miss Lawrence meet for lunch to gossip about Sav-AWN-a, as pronounced wrong by Krayonce. Kenya reveals that apparently everyone in Atlanta, or at least everyone one in Atlanta that is also on RHOA, has slept with Chuck Smith.
Kenya giggles that Chuck didn't want to put a ring on "jumpoff" Phaedra Parks, because naturally the only reason a man wouldn't want to marry a woman is because she's a jumpoff. Not because people date but don't always fall in love and then they move on. Six proposals, one hired boyfriend, and a Nigerian prince she met on gmail later, Krayonce doesn't seem to understand the behaviors of a normal relationship.
Speaking of Chuck, he invited Phaedra and NeNe Leakes to Athens to propose that they all speak at the Boys & Girls Club there because Chuck is very involved. NeNe now knows Phaedra from growing up. Phaedra reminds us Athens is a one-horse, or one Dairy Queen town, with two high schools and everyone knows of everyone, just in case NeNe forgot.
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Back in ATL Cynthia Bailey's sister Malorie has returned to "rebuild their relationship". In the middle of a bead store she drops on Cynthia that she's moving in for two months – I hope Cynthia has clean sheets! Cynthia is like 'Oh no! How am I going to hide the gory truth of my marriage and bank statements from you if you live there?! You'll really hate Peter now!'
Then Cynthia tells Mal that with her fibroids and trying to run a business to pay off all Peter's debts he hasn't been getting any extra attention, if you know what I mean.
Mal sympathizes – she gets tired having to do it two and three times a day too. Once is enough! WHAT?! Mal is obviously a student at the Porsha Stewart School of Wifely Duties. Mal also warns Cynthia that she needs to really evaluate what's happening in her marriage since she is consumed with fear.
Cynthia brings Mal to the new Bailey Agency where she notices Peter's new car and Mal is not impressed with Peter's spending. Peter, on the other hand, is not impressed with Malorie moving in! He knows she's here to babysit. Things immediately get rocky when Mal questions Peter about why he is buying luxury cars without telling Cynthia. Peter storms out. Good riddance…
I get that Mal is concerned but she should back off. She needs to go adopt Porsha if she's that desperate to hover and smother.
Speaking of Porsha, she's at a doggy boutique buying church dresses for her dogs. Her mom is concerned that Porsha thinks her dogs are real babies. Porsha is confused because she thought dogs and children were the same thing and asks her mother to pay for the granddoggies new clothes. Then she tells her mom she's moving out. "I am 32," Porsha reminds us before squealing over a sequined dog pillow that says "Chewy Vuitton" and a dog stroller.
Porsha takes us on a tour of her massive new house which happens to be in NeNe's neighborhood. It's got six bedrooms – so each of her dogs Coco, Chanel, and Bankrupt can have a walkin for their church dresses.
"I'm a big girl now!" Porsha cheers pulling her pretty, pretty princess gown over her head while bouncing up and down. Big girls must pay big bills, lest we forget! Porsha explains that since she's had a big year she's doing everything big – that includes believing in herself even if Kordell's support ends.
So next season Porsha gets the eviction storyline!
Porsha reveals that she called Kordell and he sort of admitted he didn't want the divorce, but after considering it she's glad to be moving on with her life.
Kandi Burruss is trying to smooth things over with Mama Joyce. She meets her at Derek J's salon (probably to pay). Joyce is looking sassy with her new do, but she is still as sour as ever.
Mama Joyce has been speaking to a
psychiatrist doctor, who warned her that she needs to detach from Kandi's life, even though she has done sooooo much for Kandi and it hurts her heart that Kandi doesn't loooove her enough. And she will be there for Kandi no matter what, even if she doesn't respect her mother and goes through with marrying a horrible man.
Kandi is confused about why her mother is treating her wedding like it's her funeral. Is Mama Joyce gonna have a brawl at Phunerals By Phaedra too? I hope Kandi immediately called Todd to tell him the good news that Mama Joyce's drama is yesterday's weave!
Chuck, NeNe and Phaedra head to Athens where Phaedra wears some stripper heels to chat at the B&G club. I adore NeNe and Phaedra as friends – they are so fun together. NeNe is gonna start calling Phaedra "P" because she is finally letting her guard down. Phaedra feels like she bonded with NeNe.
At the B&G club they are goofing off, having fun, and spreading inspiring messages to the kids. Chuck referred to NeNe as "one of the top actresses in America," which is a stretch longer than NeNe's legs. Everything is kosher until the car ride home…
Chuck accuses Phaedra of telling Mynique Smith they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Which Phaedra denies, clarifying that she said they "dated" – cue a flashback to Phaedra saying "we dated". This is when Chuck turns into a big ol' jerk. Chuck says Phaedra is lying – he was the "big homie" and she was trying to use his celebrity to advance her own career.
According to the legend in Chuck's own puny, addled mind he played the role of "young millionaire" with "six different chicks" holding Olympic competitions to get on his junk, while Phaedra and Kandi were "part of the team" of desperate women falling down at the feet of Chuck. Sounds like Krayonce needs to be warning Mynique to get that STD test!
Phaedra fires back that she was his date to several events – including a lot of Falcons games. Chuck tries to imply that Phaedra and Kandi were both skanks. Then he says he was dating both Phaedra and Kandi at the same time. Oh please! Even NeNe looked grossed out by Chuck's behavior.
Personally I thought Phaedra was trying to handle a distasteful situation with class when she was confronted by Mynique about her relationship with Chuck. Chuck is desperate to make himself more relevant than he is. Or as Phaedra said "Maybe he got too many concussions as a linebacker."
Moving on to other loser men, Peter is really angry Mal is moving in, but he's also really angry that Cynthia doesn't quit her job to become a sex slave, but she has to work to actually pay the bills since his ventures are all failures.
Peter is so unhappy he wants to rent a little man cave across town. Cynthia is not about to pay for him to have a cheating den and a little hoochie on the side. Maybe Peter and Chuck need to start the "Big Homies" club.
Poor Cynthia admits she's really unhappy in her marriage especially with the financial strain. "I moved to Atlanta because you led me to believe in 'The Peter Thomas Dream' and none of that ended up coming true," Cynthia tells him.
I think next season Cynthia, Mynique, and Phaedra need to make their storylines starting over with men who appreciate them and don't act like a$$holes on national television. Just a thought…
[Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – DOES MAL HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR MOVING INTO CYNTHIA'S HOUSE? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH CHUCK AND PHAEDRA'S RELATIONSHIP?