Couples Therapy Recap: Jon ANGRY! Jon SMASH!

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Last night on Couples Therapy, Dr. Jenn Berman and Dr. Mike Dow asked the four couples and one lone bird to "let out their past demons" by destroying a house. And the Couples Therapy Award for Disturbing Anger Issues goes to Jon Gosselin. This guy need serious help with anger management. Like, real therapy, not made for reality TV therapy.

From last week, Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt are trying to recover from an intense and emotional argument. They suck at communication, but Whitney has the patience of a saint and recognizes that Sada's nervous about seeing her dad and taking it out on her. 

Whitney says she tries to be sensitive to Sada's needs, but she wishes Sada would speak up if she's missing the mark. Sada says she knows Whitney's not a mind reader. However, she follows that with, but communication is reading your partner's cues and emotions. Oh Sada. Is there any hope for her? On a positive note, she does understand that she projects her issues onto Whitney.

Out of the blue, Farrah Abraham crawls into bed with Taylor Armstrong and John Bluher for a "bed shot" picture. You can take the girl out of the porn, but you can't take the porn out of the girl.  Taylor plays along despite the fact that she hates Farrah's guts. Because, cameras!

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Sada and her dad, Alvaro, sit down with Dr. Jenn. She wants to explore how Sada's tumultuous childhood affects her relationship with Whitney – they obviously love each other but they fight all. the. time.  Sada explains, she learned to communicate with aggression and by yelling, and Whitney cannot relate because her family dynamic was much different, calmer. 

Sada and Alvaro share an open and honest conversation about his anger and rage which stem from his own childhood. It's a vicious cycle. Sada cries, "I love my dad and I know he loves me." Alvaro apologizes to Sada for hurting her. Dr. Jenn encourages them to continue to talk about their experiences, both individual and shared.  When it's over, Sada feels good about the session and seeks out Whitney for support. 

Finally some comic relief for this very heavy episode — it is Farrah time and she's throwing a temper tantrum over VH1 inviting her "stupid ex-boyfriend" to the house.  The ex is Daniel Alvarez from Teen Mom.  Farrah explains to some poor woman who is contractually obligated to talk to her that this session is "too much" for her. But she wants to know why "boyfriends don't show" when they're paid supposed to and "act shady" towards her. 

Dr. Jenn is looking for insight as to why Farrah has a hard time connecting to people. Um, I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I'm going to suggest because she's a psycho bitch. Oh sorry, SHHHHH, the real doctor is speaking. Rule number one, Daniel – do not bash Farrah for she is a delicate flower and nobody wants to see her ugly cry face. 

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Daniel dated Farrah for 45 glorious DAYS – he shares she never treated him like a boyfriend. He continues, Farrah has no regard for anyone else and is extremely rude, very blunt, and disrespectful. If looks could kill, Daniel would be dead. DEAD. Daniel goes all in, suggesting Farrah make better decisions to set a better example for her daughter, Sophia. Farrah insists she's a "very good role model for Sophia in real life."  HAHAHAHA – I do not even know what that's supposed to mean! 

Obviously Daniel has overstayed his welcome at this point.  Farrah spews a bunch of fake well wishes at Daniel but refuses to shake his hand when he offers it to her.  Dr. Jenn thanks Daniel for sharing and shows him the door. Refocused on Farrah, she starts to keep it real – the house says you're a bitch, your mom says you're a bitch, and Daniel says you're a bitch – but resorts back to nonsense. Dr. Jenn congratulates Farrah for handling her therapy so well.

Next, Taylor sits down with Dr. Jenn to talk about her parenting skills, or lack thereof. Taylor admits parenting stresses her out. Dr. Jenn explains to Taylor that it's okay for Kennedy to be angry – losing a parent isn't easy on a child – and Taylor needs to recognize and tolerate Kennedy's outbursts in that regard. But, at the same time, she needs to maintain power. 

Just like that, Taylor says she's healed, having worked through all the issues from her past. Ignoring all the messy stuff she's lied about of course. Taylor wants to "get serious" about parenting and not lose track of her whereabouts again because Kennedy "needs structure" now. Is Dr. Jenn a miracle worker or a waste of space enabler? 

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It has been two weeks since Jon has talked to his kids because 1) he is in L.A. filming Couples Therapy and 2) Kate Gosselin is so jealous of Jon landing a reality TV show that she's refusing to let him talk to their kids on the phone. Jon calls Kate a narcissist and vows to fight for primary custody of the kids. 

With that plan in mind, Jon proceeds to carry on like a mature adult capable of raising eight (give or take a couple) children slam the mother of his children on TV. Jon says Kate can "eat sh-t and die". He adds that she's a "piece of f–king sh-t" and a "sh-tty human being" for good measure. So, so sad – those poor children deserve better than parents who attack each other in the media every other day. Jon needs to seek help for his anger issues and victim complex.

Fittingly, it's time for the anger management exposure therapy.  Dr. Jenn and Dr. Mike take the four couples and the one lone bird to a house packed full of junk. Dr. Mike urges all of them to find something in the house that takes them back to a dark time in their life and destroy it.

Farrah whisper cries about mom Debra caring more about her house than her family. She wasn't allowed to make a mess, ever, so now she wants to destroy a painting. Whatever. Dr. Jenn and Dr. Mike give Farrah extra coddle time and she goes on to talk about how people used to make fun of her nose and lack of boobs. Her insecurities led her to buy a new nose and bigger boobs – and a chin, bigger bigger boobs, no more chin, endless fillers, puffy lips, and veneers. Dr. Mike warns, "What you want, no plastic surgeon can give you."

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Taylor says she's not good at expressing anger but she has no problem with "Going Oklahoma" on the house. She vents about growing up without a father – and that led her to fall victim to an abusive husband.  She cries for Kennedy and screams about Russell as she's breaking things with a trophy. When she's done, she pulls herself together fairly easily. A teary-eyed John gives Taylor a hug – and they're totes ready to move forward and get married now. <eye roll> 

We don't see Kelsey Nykole's intro but she breaks down crying – with actual tears and drippy mascara – when it's her turn. Take note, Farrah and Taylor. Real. Tears. Thanks for playing but you lose. Kelsey longs for companionship. Ghostface Killah acknowledges her pain for once – and Kelsey cries, "I just wanted him to love me…." AWW.

Jon skips the small talk, grabs a bat, and smashes up the place. Hard. Core. The others look terrified, with a few of them hiding behind their significant others. Jon screams, "Everything has to be perfect… I wasted my whole f–king life. Ten years of… fake… it was all fake. Everything was f–king fake."  Jon finishes off a dining room table, a couple of chairs, and a few windows before he calls it quits.

After, Jon and Liz Jannetta cling to each other. Jon tells Liz, "I want to be with you. I want you to love me, unconditionally." They cry. They hug. They're really into each other all of a sudden. It's touching, but I'm also like, that's some really messed up foreplay. 

TELL US – YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS EPISODE? 

Photo Credit: VH1 

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