She’s bringing Uptown a whole new Smackdown! In her Bravo blog, Dorinda Medley gives us her take on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, covering the gamut of poor housewifery dinner behavior, not-so-sneaky Kmart digs, and awkward therapy sessions. Dorinda begins by revisiting the dinner conversation she had with Ramona Singer about divorce: “Fireplace and vodka…that cures everything. I knew we needed a little drink to warm up to the divorce chat. And like I’ve always said about divorce, it’s a process. There is no one meeting or one decision and certainly not one conclusion. It’s the dismantling of a long, loving relationship that involves many years and a beautiful child, so it has to be handled with caution, respect, and grace…if possible.” She adds that “Ramona seems to be on track, her confidence is booming, and she seems ready for the next step. The fact that Mario and Avery are even speaking, let alone are on good terms, makes me so incredibly happy. Avery’s a great girl, and quite frankly, Mario’s always been a great father. What happens with Ramona and Mario does not and should not ever change that fact.”
When it comes her very polarizing main squeeze, John, Dorinda says she knew bringing him up at dinner with Ramona would “get a reaction out of her,” but as “Bethenny [Frankel] has said before, ‘The heart wants what the hearts wants,’ and I want John, so guess what folks—I get to have John. He makes me happy, simple as that.” But it’s not all praise for Bethenny as Dorinda snipes, “Oh! That therapy scene with Bethenny…how exhausting, right? I feel like we’ve been living that confrontation with her stepfather for the past month. I mean, therapy can be exhausting, sure, but enough already! That damn can of worms just needs to be avoided at this point.” Although she calls Bethenny “brave” for exposing her vulnerability in front of the cameras, Dorinda admits, “It’s made me tense watching it all unfold, and I so wanted to just make it go away.”
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“So…wait…the Latino Show Magazine party for Sonja’s new line. How is that for an off-the-wall invitation? You wouldn’t naturally make that connection, but welcome to New York City!” continues Dorinda. Although she generously compliments Sonja Morgan for actually producing, well, one lone dress, Dorinda admits, “I’ll be honest with you: I did not quite get the connection with Sonja and this particular magazine at first—it’s like celebrating Joan Collins on the cover of Essence—but that photo spread was truly amazing. She looked impeccable, and the fashions are really beautiful. Looks like she made a hat where there was no hat! Huzzah for Lady Morgan!” She adds, “Aside from that little Ramona taking Mario food thing, I really enjoyed myself, and after all the snippety comments with Madame Yummie and Lady Morgan and Kmart, I was happy the event went well.”
Dorinda goes on to lavish praise on Carole Radziwill for her building board election win, saying that Carole “not only looks the part, she looks fabulous in the part. Go Carole! To me, I saw the journalist and competitive spirit is takes to win an election.” Dorinda did confess she was bummed to have missed out on Carole’s haute cuisine of freezer burned pigs in a blanket: “Sad to have missed the victory party at Carole’s. I would’ve liked to have celebrated the win as well as answer the burning question I’ve been fixated on for years: What does a 3-year-old hot dog taste like?” she ponders.
Less kind words are reserved for Heather Thomson, however, as Dorinda questions, “And who wouldn’t want to sit and dish about child support and alimony? You just KNOW how much that THRILLS me…Look, I know Heather means well, but I guess there are some topics we should all avoid like the plague, because someone’s children and their marriage (or divorce) are pretty heavy subjects for a cocktail party. She should’ve stuck to the tattoo dreams her heart made.”
Moving on to the birthday celebration at Petrossian that turned into more of a roast (for John, that is), Dorinda confesses, “I have to say I was very saddened by the way Ramona and Luann [de Lesseps] behaved. John didn’t deserve that humiliation, especially not in front of an audience. There is a time and a place for everything, and a birthday dinner wasn’t it.” She further explains, “What they did was mean, uncomfortable, disrespectful, awkward, and quite frankly, pretty damn cruel to John…but mostly to me. They should’ve either shared their thoughts with me at a different time or just continue blabbing about it behind my back…ultimately, I don’t care what they say. And I think that annoys them, but…’c’est la vie.’ How would Luann feel if I brought up issues about Jacques? Or would Ramona appreciate me disparaging her date that night…as he sat next to me? I don’t think so. I think it was obvious I wanted to crawl under the table or disappear; my feelings were very hurt.”
Although Dorinda wins for most put-upon NY housewife for last week’s birthday-dinner-from-hell, she manages to close her blog with civility, but in her signature no-bullsh*t style: “Don’t get me wrong: I was incredibly grateful for the lovely dinner, but I would’ve preferred a pleasant dinner at McDonald’s than this embarrassing episode at Petrossian. You know what I mean? I wanted to enjoy a simple birthday dinner with friends, not become the main course.”
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Photo Credit: Bravo TV