Porsha Williams

Last night was the final part of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion and, once again, things got heated between Kenya Moore and Kim Fields. However, the true ‘come to Jesus’ moment occurred between the ladies and Porsha Williams when they confronted her about not being able to keep her hands to herself.

First, NeNe Leakes waltzes out wearing what can only be described a costume from the adult-entertainment version of Frozen. I mean, it was the ice queen cometh, although there is nothing icy about NeNe who can neither keep her comments nor her anger to herself.

NeNe came back to defend her turf, since she owns this show and couldn’t leave her “baby” to a group of teenagers who can’t do CPR. Andy Cohen seems to support this idea, even if Kandi Burruss is making the stank face to end all stank faces. Speaking of babies, Kandi has to leave to go pump – and the women all gasp over how phenomenal she looks post-baby (she does!). 

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NeNe Leakes RHOA Reunion

Cynthia Bailey “the flip flopping flip floppity-flop flopper” is forced to address that she “denied” her friendship with Kenya as soon as NeNe re-graced her with her presence. Even Porsha calls Cynthia out on befriending Kenya when she needed her, then pretending they barely interact when NeNe is looming over her like the mother of all volcanic eruptions. 

Cynthia doesn’t really have much to say for herself – I mean, she was just getting to know if she could handle being caught up in the twirl, but apparently NeNe and Kenya have reached an uneasy peace. Kenya believes she and NeNe have so many similarities, and she has love for NeNe. A love of convenience is all these two egomaniacs have for each other.

Despite casting Cynthia aside last season, in her own opinion, NeNe isn’t a backstabber. Cynthia feels their friendship is destiny or something, but there’s room in her heart to make new friends, but keep the old (cause one is silver and the other is gold). Is there room in Cynthia’s heart for other friend contracts, though? 

The ladies question Kim‘s hypocrisy for complaining to Phaedra Parks that she doesn’t approve of cleavage, then being OK with “church lady” Phaedra wearing thongs and spreading her cheeks while under the bad influence of Porsha. Kim sniffs that people should have different sides to their personalities and warns NeNe that she has no idea what Kim is capable of. Let’s hope Kim keeps her thong-wearing off Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Let’s hope Kim convinces Porsha and Phaedra to do the same. Andy marvels at the idea of Kim being a THOT. 

Matt & Kenya

Next, the husbands come out, and we learn that Matt and Kenya are moving in together – IF Moore Manor ever gets finished. The completion date was supposed to be March 5th, with Chateau Sheree a few weeks behind her.

Matt brought cheap supermarket flowers for all the women, and Kenya rambles about how he’s a good companion to her – and a skilled lover. In short, it was liked reading a Danielle Steele novel about a woman in her twilight years hiring a male escort to provide her comfort and support, then convincing herself to fall for him because he washes the dishes, while Hallmark secures the movie rights. I don’t buy their ‘true love’ #storyline. 

Of course, next to Matt, sits Peachter, slumping and mumbling, and practically drooling with boredom in Cynthia’s hair as she stares straight ahead, bitterly, ignoring him. Cynthia is working on her buzinessez and is busy. 

Behind the other sofa is lone husband Chris, beside Kim, who is not playing around when it comes to Kenya and her accusations that Chris is “fruity” or swishy or delicate – or whatever the hell you want to call a man who is a Broadway dancer and gives no f–ks about strip clubs, or impressing Todd or Peachter. I call that man a “winner,” by the way. 

Chris and Kim - RHOA Reunion

Apparently the reason all the women were goading Kenya in her accusations about Chris stemmed from him mocking them on the bus that first day in Jamaica by sassily snarking their reads, snaps, and twirls. Chris was having hot flashes and needed the bus AC turned DOWN. Why Bravo chose to cut that footage is ridiculous, but the women were put off by Chris’ behavior, so when Kenya came with the gossip, they were all ears.

Sheree Whitfield doesn’t feel bad at all for telling Kim what was said the next day – after all she wasn’t gossiping about her marriage she was too busy thinkin’ bout the Bob

Chris directly asks Kenya who calls him “Chrissy” and he did so in a calm and collected manner, but Matt tried to show off that he is Kenya’s protector by getting in Chris’ face. Andy instructed Matt to keep his mouth shut and look pretty. In essence, stop trying to be the Nu-Peachter

Kim is not about to let Kenya get away with her false accusations about her years in Hollywood, how she ‘heard’ Chris was called “Chrissy”, who said it and when. Kim demands Bravo “roll the tape!” and they do. Afterwards, there is Kenya, the toad whose lillypad moved out from under her, until she’s plop on her ass in a swamp. Maybe her butt implants float? Lies, lies, lies – and caught on tape Dateline NBC-style. 

rhoa-kim-stank-face

All the women involved in the conversation have since apologized to Kim and Chris… except Kenya! Kenya insists she hasn’t apologized because she’s angry about being called a liar – which she is – although she says she’s not. At Andy’s insistence Kenya issues a super-insincere apology, and is called out by Andy again. Chris calls Kenya a “horrible person”. Well, you know, true colors! 

Kenya is never going to own up to her behavior being wrong, because she loves to blame others for her actions (Kim was condescending – she tried to force me to not wear makeup – waaaaaah!), then turn everything around. Kenya thrives on starting drama, twirling chaos in her witches cauldron, then crying victim, because no one understands her gone off her rocker unfabulous. The bottom line: she owes Chris and Kim an apology. Kenya knows she lied and she knows she did so out of spite and jealousy because she was pissed at Cynthia over the ‘mercial and because Cynthia dismissed her as a non-BFF. For all Kenya constantly telling Porsha that she doesn’t take accountability, Kenya oughtta look in the mirror, mirror on the unfinished Moore Manor wall! 

Then it’s Todd’s turn to get his panties in a bunch over his issues with Phaedra

Todd and Phaedra

Andy revisits Phaedra’s holiday party where it emerged that the FEDS were giving the gift of a surprise visit. Cynthia admits she thought they were there for Peter, and was shocked to learn they found out about Apollo’s things from WWHL. Oops. Kandi admits she believed Phaedra called them. Phaedra is furious – she would never do that to a friend, let alone a pregnant friend, since she knows from experience how horrible it was to deal with the FEDS. 

Phaedra is shocked to hear Kandi suspect she would call. “If that’s what you think if of me…” she trails off. Todd jumps in about how Phaedra is shady – which is true – because a bunch of stuff she says is misleading – like that she paid him $30k for the exercise DVD, when she hadn’t.  

It’s obvious Phaedra didn’t pay Todd because she was furious that he was hanging out with Apollo, post-indictment, and that Kandi and Todd sided with him. Phaedra throws it in Todd’s face that while he was drinking and going to clubs, “pretending to edit the video” with Apollo, he could have asked him for money. Todd shoots back that Phaedra wanted their deal to be between him and her, which is why TODD dragged Kandi into it and made his pregnant wife confront Phaedra about his money, years later, on a television show. Mmmmkay. 

Phaedra quips that she’s done Todd a lot of favors, and was also there for him when Sharon passed. Todd attempts to fully discredit Phaedra by yelling, “You seem to know so much about what I was doing. Apollo was in your house and you didn’t even know what the f–k he was doing?”

Todd needs to stop behaving like a whiny snot, get his ovaries untucked, and pull it together. HE dragged this storyline onto the show and now is pissy that he looks foolish. Second of all, Phaedra has every right to be mad that while her huzzzzzband should have been spending his last days with his children, he was running around town with Todd blowing money on strippers. Also, Todd knew Phaedra and Apollo weren’t even living together at that time. 

Phaedra and Todd whip out some emails to prove their own shaky points – this whole argument is ridiculous and stupid, because it’s not about workout videos or $8k checks, it’s about Apollo. These two are literally fighting over Apollo. WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW ALWAYS FIGHTING OVER APOLLO?! #NOTWORTHIT

Phaedra

Kandi gets riled up and complains that Phaedra only settled her debt to look good, which duh – obviously. Phaedra icily states, “You got your money,” as in this issue is closed and as dead as our friendship. 

Finally we can all discuss that travesty that is Porsha’s behavior. Andy shows the previously unseen footage of Porsha getting into a physical altercation with her former employee Jamie at Phaedra’s Christmas party and points out this is the THIRD time Porsha has gotten physical on the show. 

The footage showed Porsha chasing Jamie down the street and kicking her onto the ground. It was disturbing and gross. 

NeNe conftonts Phaedra about how she has changed for the worst, which is both hypocritical and pot calling the kettle’s bottom burned, all things considered. Porsha fires back, “Didn’t you choke somebody?” Kandi and Sheree burst into laughter, but NeNe argues that she was smart enough to let that person be Kim Z whom no one can stand not let that moment be caught on camera. AS if that makes it excusable! 

NeNe is right, though – Porsha is out of control, and her behavior is having a negative effect on her professional and personal life. As Kandi pointed out, when the issue with Kenya occurred, many could understand it given the circumstances with Kenya provoking her, but the other two issues point to a pattern – a dangerous pattern! NeNe reminded Porsha that her image stays with her and her ability to get jobs. I mean, Porsha wants her image to be Naked, not Psycho! 

NeNe & Porsha

Phaedra defends “Frick” by sharing that Porsha is in counseling for anger management. So far, apparently, she’s learned…. NOTHING! 

Porsha cries that being judged is hard, which is why she’s putting herself on TV. She’s never been in situations like this. I honestly think she’s never gotten over her divorce, and her attitude is just ‘screw it – I don’t care!’ Sheree points out that DUH – they’ve ALL been judged, they’ve all been in heated arguments and crazy situations, but they’ve also had the self-control to keep their hands to themselves! Except for Porsha, who cannot seem to see the line she’s crossing until it’s too late. Cynthia admits she’s uncomfortable around Porsha and hesitant to confront her. The other ladies aren’t necessarily afraid, but during arguments with Porsha they come with their defenses prepared, knowing it could switch in an instant!

Porsha, who is totally totally taking accountability, starts deflecting blame onto Cynthia for kicking her, Kenya for waving the scepter (Kenya was out of line), until Kim – voice of reason who has realized her voice is wasted on this mess of a show – defends that seeking help is an important first step and the fact that Porsha is admitting she has a problem is a step in the right direction. Porsha has also been going to church with Phaedra (HA! – are they wearing their favorite church lady thongs?!) to reconnect with her “spiritual center.” She promises Andy she’s continuing with the therapy. 

You know I truly hope Porsha is getting help. She needs it! 

Andy & Kenya

The reunion closes with Sheree sharing that she’s glad to be back, Kenya acknowledging that she’s finally in a happy place because of Matt, Cynthia rambling about her businesses, Porsha looking forward to finding herself on the Underground Railroad, which transports her to therapy weekly, and Kim praising the show for giving her the opportunity to focus on herself. Kandi and Phaedra both worry about fixing their friendship. I feel like from Phaedra’s perspective the bridge is burned; from Kandi’s, she’s hoping Phaedra’s scorpion tail will lose its sting.

Phaedra closes with some inspirational words about how the show is an amazing platform and they should use it responsibly… to spread their cheeks in a thong (cause after all, they’re at the beach!).  

TELL US – SHOULD PORSHA LOSE HER PEACH, OR CAN SHE GET HELP? ARE MATT AND KENYA REALLY IN LOVE? WILL KANDI AND PHAEDRA SALVAGE THEIR FRIENDSHIP?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

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