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It’s Day 16 on Celebrity Big Brother – the morning after the fight and Kim still shows no remorse in the diary room.  She has decided it’s all Nicola’s fault (or Nicole, ‘cos she refuses to use her proper name) and hasn’t quite clicked that if everyone else is saying one thing, and she’s saying the other, they may have a point.  As one of my fave housewives once said “Take this as a moment to look inside yourself and see that if everyone says your dead, it’s time to lie down”.  But no, it’s a conspiracy, orchestrated by ‘Nicole’.  I give up.  Even the fact that Jessica is the only person to greet her when she comes back in the house, it’s not enough to make Kim even doubt herself.

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Luckily it’s shopping task day and Big Brother has arranged a Super Hero training camp.  Housemates are divided into heroes and sidekicks, and sidekicks must cater to the whims of the heroes.  They all have to dress up in Lycra, and thankfully James declines, as he is the older member of the house with dignity and respect still intact (Kim!!).  Hot water is turned off to the house, but the other housemates are all fine.

Housemates are divided as follows, Jedward and their sidekick Nicola, Jessica and sidekick James C, Stacy and sidekick Chloe, Kim and sidekick Calum, Speidi and Bianca and finally, Coleen and Jamie.

I am just loving Speidi this series.  They are funny and entertaining housemates without having to resort to their tricks of past.  I do hope we get to see more of this side of them, not just in this program but in any others they appear in.  They don’t need their antics.

Anyway, back to business.

Jedward are irritating Nicola and she is getting her revenge.  They call her on the hero hotline to ask for 2 cups of tea.  She gives them decaffeinated tea (who needs them more hyper than they already are???), uses dirty cups and decides to make it milky so it tastes awful and they won’t keep asking her.  Now I tried this trick when I was about 13 and kept being asked to make tea.  I got myself on tea duties for about 15 years till it was decided I’d learnt how to make a ‘proper cup’.  Therefore I’m hoping the tactic works better for her than it did me.  Clearly not, as they make her taste it first…..

Nicola and Kim go at it again.  Kim tries to imply that Nicola is being fake and lying, and Nicola is calmly arguing back and asks her to leave and not speak to her.  The arguments have now got so regular they are just rehashing the same thing, so not overly noteworthy.  I’m sure there will be better ones before long.

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Part 2 of the task is for the sidekicks to pretend to fly whilst heroes throw various mess at them.  Quite amusing watching Calum retch quite a while.  That and the fact James C seems untouched, whilst Jamie and Calum are literally drenched.  One of the easier tasks, with ‘sewerage, bird mess and fish guts’ being thrown at them.  I’m guessing not real stuff though.  Not cos of hygiene, more cos it would take an age to collect that much poop.  The only real trauma involved is that the sidekicks need to shower the goop off, and due to James C’s aversion to Lycra, the water is cold.  Eeek.

Next part of the task is for sidekicks to visit the laboratory to provide a truth serum.  Basically it’s just an excuse to get the gossip.  Sidekicks get asked a question from their Hero housemates and to pass the test, must answer truthfully.

Bianca is up first, and is asked if she sees any relationships carrying on outside of the house, and she dodges nicely and says there are a number of friendships she sees continuing.  Chloe is asked if she was really offended about Jessica fancying Calum, and she says yes (camera flashes to Jessica and she’s clearly livid).  James C is asked which housemates he finds most irritating and why.  He answers Kim and said that she hasn’t come into the house with the right attitude.  He does put it very gracefully and well.  Jamie is asked if he has feelings for anyone in the house, and he admits to having feelings for Bianca.  Could have been awkward except Chloe’s boob took the opportunity to spontaneously combust out of the costume and flash the other sidekick housemates.  Tellingly, she apologized to James C, (a lot better than calling him Santa on the first day, and being quite rude).  James C really has got the respect of everyone in the house, even Kim took her comment well.

We move to the aftermath of the task and Jessica is crying again.  She’s upset about the comment Chloe made about Jessica and Calum, and the other housemates are bewildered, partly by the fact that Jessica is so upset about a comment someone she has known for just a couple of days has made (has it only been that long????  Sheez, feels like forever just watching the thing!) and partly because they have long sussed that Calum has no intention of going there with any of the girls, so the thought of arguing over him is ironic.  Like asking which animal a cow would eat when it’s clearly vegetarian.

Almost as bewildered as I am watching Jedward, two 25 year old ‘men’ having imaginary conversations with Britney Spears on the hero phone….

Moving on…

A few hours and a lot more drinks later, most of the housemates are slightly tipsy.  Chloe gets braver and tries to kiss Calum.  He swiftly swerves and tries to reject as nicely as possible, but tells her no kissing.  He actually is being really sweet, so fair play to him.  I have a feeling Chloe is not a girl that understands no though….

Kim and Jessica are in the garden, arranging a date.  I like Jessica in her show ‘The Apprentice’ but she’s coming off horrendously on here.  I’m not sure whether she is aligning herself with Jedward and Kim out of need for votes or if it’s genuine.  Either way, she’s coming over as a ditherer.  Kim promises her a meal at the Ivy.  I’d like to try there but if it has a Kim attached, I’d rather not….

Chloe has gone to try on an outfit to get Calum’s attention.  She puts on a bikini and gives a lap dance to a Jedward.  She then pushes him to the floor and grinds on him.  And then, for some reason, wraps herself up in a duvet, like we didn’t just see what she had for breakfast.  Completely Cringe and how she thinks Calum will fall for her after doing that to some other bloke, I have no idea.  Spencer encourages her to try harder, the wee mischievous minx.  How she can do that, legally, I have no idea.

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Calum puts himself in bed and Chloe follows him and tries to get him to go and have some fun.  Calum tries so nicely to turn her down and tell her to go to bed, until even he tells her to stop being difficult.

The show closes on Chloe’s rejection and Calum locking himself in the toilet.  It may just be for a wee or maybe for safety, who knows.  And so ends day 16.

DAY 17

It’s now Day 17 in the house and Chloe is slightly the worse for wear and Coleen is disgusted with her.  And that’s without seeing her in the diary room picking her nose…..pleasant.  There’s actually not much of Chloe we haven’t seen, inside or out.  All of which, I could have done without.

Bianca and Jamie now officially ‘like’ each other.  Sweet.  Slightly less so for the boyfriend on the outside she talks in code to Nicola about later in the show….

I’ve also worked out which of Jedward is which…..kinda.  Edward is less of an a*se than John.  That’s as much as I need to know.

We move on to the next part of the Hero task.  Housemates are divided into heroes and sidekicks in 2 separate rooms.  This is a test of ‘loyalty’.  If one person out of Hero and sidekick pairing presses the button, they will be safe from eviction but put their partner up for elimination.  If neither presses however, both will be safe.  A nice way of testing which is more important, their friendship or winning.

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First up is Nicola and Jedward.  Easy decision for them, both teams press the button and Nicola was marginally quicker.  There has been no love lost between these guys anyway, so no real shakes.  Next is Speidi and Bianca.  And here is our first surprise…..neither team press the button, in fact Speidi pretend to snog instead.  Shocker, I think old Speidi would have hammered that button, but this new look are great!

Next up is Calum and KimNicola threatens Calum that he’d better press the button first!  Calum does and Kim doesn’t even attempt to.  Next up is James C and Jessica.  Everyone thinks Jessica will press, and though she feigns it, doesn’t press and neither does James.  Coleen and Jamie next, and Jamie presses the button when Coleen doesn’t.  Next is Stacy and Chloe, and controversial event of Stacy pressing the button when Chloe doesn’t, believing that she and Stacy are friends enough for her not to do it.  Mistake numero uno.  This means for eviction, we have Kim, Coleen, Chloe and Jedward.  And everyone now knows who values the competition over their friendship.

Stacy seems to be the one to feel most guilty about pressing, when Chloe didn’t.  Either that or bad that she’s been caught out.  People are telling Jessica that they are surprised she didn’t press and she explains that she wants to win for being herself, not by getting rid of people.  Stacy over hears and starts lashing out at people in guilt.  Stacy overhears Jedward talking about not pressing quickly and that Stacy did, and she starts on at them.  As much as I dislike Jedward, they give plenty of reasons for having a go at them; this is not one of them.  She quietens but is clearly simmering.

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Calum strips off and goes in the shower.  We see his butt.  I now see the attraction.

Kim has stopped arguing and started talking to people.  Bianca tells her how much of an improvement she’s been, and I think she is just batsh*t crazy.  However it gives a cute moment.  Not cute enough though, still can’t stand her.

Jessica is still going on about how good her character is, because she didn’t press the button.  Stacy hears and goes on the attack again.  I think Jessica made her point and doesn’t need to harp on, but I don’t think she was intentionally digging at Stacy.  We see the Stacy of the first few days, with the arguing and screaming.  It all dies down, and then she starts on Jessica later in the evening.  Jessica doesn’t even bother arguing back, so Stacy just looks like a screaming shouting banshee.  Coleen starts on Jessica too, but came in late so it seems she thinks Jessica started on Stacy rather than the other way round.  There seems to see a big difference between living in the house 2 weeks and living in it a week, or however long the newbies have been in.  Erm not really peeps.  Very little difference indeed.  I’ve had longer vacations.

Jamie and Bianca are talking and Jamie offers to take her away after Big Brother.  She agrees.  Secret Boyfriend is presumably not invited.

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Bianca beckons Jamie over to go and sleep in her bed.  They get under the covers, and Nicola is in the single bed next to them looking awkward.  Calum reminds them to think of their careers…..

It’s another vote to save, and lines are only open a short time during the program rather than over the normal few days.  Coleen is first to be saved.

The current program finishes and the second show is half an hour later, allowing a few more final votes.

Chloe is voted out and whilst doing her exit interview, housemates are put in the task room.  They are told that they have to vote for the housemate they want to be granted eternal immunity.  Housemates vote as follows:

Bianca-Jamie

Calum- James C

Coleen- James C

Speidi- Nicola

James C- Jamie

Jamie- James C

Jedward- Speidi

Jessica- Jedward

Kim- Jedward

Nicola- Coleen

Stacy- James C

It was close towards the end, as I thought for one horrific moment Jedward would get it as the others were spreading the votes, but they got it together.

However, now that James C has eternal immunity he has to choose someone to be up for eternal nomination.  He does struggle with this and seems genuinely devastated to choose Speidi, although they take the news with great grace.  I don’t think they have anything to worry about, they have been doing brilliantly, so all good.

And there we are, a housemate lighter, and another night closer to the end….

TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CHOICE FOR ETERNAL IMMUNITY? AND CHOICE FOR ETERNAL NOMINATION?

Author: Nicki M.

Photo Credit: Channel 5

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