Remember in the beginning when the cast of Vanderpump Rules had actual goals? Future careers and the like into which they hoped to nestle once their debauched days at SUR (and their sex appeal) passed? Suddenly Jax Taylor is one of those people – those realists. Except now, instead of it being the right thing, it is oh-so very wrong. Because what of the future of bartending for life on reality TeeVee?
I personally think a spinoff in which Jax ventures out into the real world – getting up for work everyday, pulling his shit together, really working that reiki would be interesting. Apparently I am alone. Because friends before future, bro!
In the SURvile community of Vanderpumpian Forever Kids we are STILL celebrating Jax’s 308th birthday. The leprechaun of eternity has already danced his jig at Hooters, but now Brittany Cartwright, who is just so exasperating, has planned a group trip to Playa del Carmen. Play, play away forever young (at heart) in the Mexican sun. There’s two things wrong with this: 1) Jax doesn’t deserve it. He’s horrible to Brittany; 2) He doesn’t even want to go. Instead he wants to stay in LA and wallow in his midlife crisis. Especially his reiki instructor’s arms.
Last week, Bravo released the reunion seating chart, which showed Kenya in the last seat on a the sofa – a place she’s never previously occupied courtesy of her s#*t-starting ways. Kenya’s peach is reportedly about to be smashed over her refusal to film for most of the season and her secret marriage (including her allegedly difficult to deal with husband). However, sources reveal that on the couches Kenya whipped out the trump card by announcing that she’s finally pregnant and is due before the end of the year. Kenya’s husband Marc also may make an appearance.
David, oddly, represented himself while the Real Housewives Of Orange County star brought along her attorney who was much better equipped to fight for her rights. David was apparently trying to save money – or maybe he’s too broke to afford his legal fees and Shannon’s – which the judge ordered him to pay $25,000 towards.
NeNe is officially in a twitter war (and every other kind of war) with Kim Zolciak and Brielle Biermann. It’s gone beyond nasty into libel territory and Orkin definitely needs to exterminate this mess. It’s actually making me think less of two women, whom I’ve never managed to muster a decent opinion of in the first place. This is the magic of Bravo: nasty people behaving more badly. You can read all the details here.
I’ve appreciated Teddi all season. She’s come across as logical, sincere, and not overly eager, but she and Dorit Kemsley are like a two-headed monster each biting their shared tail and each refusing to take ACCOUNTABILITY. They started out as friends until a small infraction came between them, which ballooned into a zeppelin and now they cannot stand botoxed hide, nor fake hair of each other. To this point I’ve mostly placed the blame on Dorit for having Rinna-itis. Dorit called it “rage and regret,” but I call it shoot your mouth off, then realize later that you probably should’ve kept your mouth shut, and backpedal the $3M dollar car you can’t afford into a ditch.
However last night Teddi reignited a deceased feud for apparently NO reason other than to cause issues between Dorit and Lisa Rinna! It was revenge gossip, or repeat and revenge. And it was petty.
I really hate it when I have to confront political or social quagmires in a reality show – like when last night’s Vanderpump Rules address the oh-so-prescient ‘me too’ movement (albeit without actually saying the words). Ironically, given the (well-deserved) criticism she took for her own attitude and statements about other women who came forward, it was Stassi Schroeder raising alarm and complaining about people always defending men.
The man in question is Ariana Madix‘s brother Jeremy. Jeremy asks Billie Lee out on a date, which she’s excited about, but when she shares the good news with Stassi and Kristen Doute their four-way flashers immediately go on. Kristen warns Billie to keep the date “in public” and Stassi says Jeremy is “creepy.” Stassi recounts that at Katie Maloney‘s wedding Jeremy was hitting on her – and everyone else – in a way that was frankly uncomfortable and camera footage reveals him grabbing Stassi in a bear hug while promising to leave her alone. And it was creepy! And uncomfortable.