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rhobh-reunion

Last night was the first installment of the so-called epic Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. 

Since it was mostly a bunch of squabbling about tit-for-tat and tampon strings, let's make this quick and dirty! I'm gonna start by paying Snarlton Gebbia a compliment. She looks good! Less Wicked Witch Of The Tanning Bed and more Human Flesh who feasts on food and not the blood of innocents.

Right out of the gate Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville are at it over whether or not Lisa lived in Calabasas at some point and filed for bankruptcy. Lisa says no, but according to the $9.99 background check Brandi did on www.stalkurfriends.com (the same site that tricks you into thinking you'll be able to see who's reading your FB page!) Lisa like so did have an address in the valley. Lisa rolls her eyes. Then Brandi claims SPLITS Richards told her about the Kalatrashass living and Ken's financial past. 

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brandi-glamrock-2

Brandi Glanville's name has become synonymous with backlash. After a very, very rocky season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans have started a petition to get Brandi removed from the show. 

Brandi lashed out in response, tweeting, "Dear random people or person who has time 2 make up a petition about me a-thanks for keeping me in the news B-dont we have whales to save?" Of course it's doubtful that a few thousand fans would make any impact on what the network decides. However, the incredibly low ratings this season could! 

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rhoa-recap-001

On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, we dipped into the complex relationships of married couples having problems and the woman who decided it was her duty to help them out using shade, manipulation, and rompers. Kenya Moore, you benevolent soul!

Following the flip your coupledom dinner party, Kenya sits down with Miss Lawrence. She's just finished working out and is tucking into a big plate of fruit. "I have to take care of my figure and watch what I eat. I don't want to leave this trip looking like Phaedra." Phaedra Parks who JUST HAD A BABY. Phaedra and Kenya need some new original material besides fat and slut zingers. Kenya also has to take care of her figure because African mysterio prince is her only man and errr… yeah. 

Speaking of men she doesn't have, Kenya wants to coerce Apollo into a one-on-one so she can force him to admit he lied about the nature of their relationship. Kenya values honesty apparently. Except where her romantic relationships are concerned, then it's like, "Honesty? Who's that? We've never dated… "

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rhoa-recap-mexico

Tonight the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta continue their adventure in Mexico. And by "adventure" I mean full-scale bitchtastic meltdown where the currency is not pesos but shade! Led by dictatress Kenya Moore it seems no one will escape the cartel as relationships are put to the ulitmate test. 

In case you missed it, last week Porsha Stewart's "bearded" marriage was the topic of discussion as Peter Thomas and Kenya wondered just what happened between her and Kordell. And this week it is Phaedra Parks whose relationship is put under a microscope! 

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TONY DOVOLANI , NENE LEAKES

Tony Dovolani is ready for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, but is his partner NeNe Leakes

While Tony was fully prepared to end up in the middle of the pack for this season's eliminations, he says that after he started working with NeNe he believes they could go far. But it's going to take relying on NeNe's personality to get there!

"We know athletes have an advantage but I feel like personality takes you a long way," Tony explained. "As long as we can show NeNe’s personality in a positive way, we can have her connect with the audience at home.”

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luann de lesseps

LuAnn de Lesseps is clearly not ready to be relegated to second-string 'extra' Housewife – especially after years as an 'official' Housewife. 

Months after breaking up with longtime love Jacques Azoulay, Luann has been dating, but now she's ready for a commitment again! "Maybe I need to do a dating show for myself so I can find Mr. Right," LuAnn joked to AmNY. How about asking the Millionaire Matchmaker to hook her up?

Moving on, Real Housewives of New York is promising a seriously outrageous season with galore. "I'm taking a different role," Ramona Singer insisted at the amNewYork party thrown by Sonja Morgan. Ramona said her strategy was to convince everyone to look worse and "show themselves" and by proxy she would look better. "They're even more cray cray than me," she bragged. 

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Kim Kardashian shows off her cleavage

Kim Kardashian is desperately trying to keep up with the A-listers, and it's costing her big time! You might wonder what more Kim has to lose – she's already lost her dignity and self-respect, but now she's apparently losing all the money she earned in the process.

“That woman burns through money like no one else," a friend tells Life & Style. “She’s the rich version of living paycheck to paycheck.” Kim is dropping piles of cash on things like lavish gifts, clothing, shopping sprees, and the insanely lavish mansion she is renovating with Kanye West. The friend reveals that Kim recently spent $100,000 on a Cartier watch for Kanye. 

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Teresa Guidice in Staten Island

Teresa Giudice is working hard for the money – and she's trying to do everything she can to convince a judge that she should stay out of the slammer

Proving that no job is too corny for the Real Housewives of New Jersey star, she just released a new commercial for her Fabellini wine. Teresa has been doing bottle signings all over and really selling the product. 

"Sexy. Sophisticated." (Two words that totally come to mind when I think of Teresa!) "We invite you to fall in love," says Teresa as she smizes her heart out. Well, hopefully it'll work. Reality Tea has tried it – and we were not swept away by the sexy sophisticatedness. Nor did we fall in love. 

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