On last night's 16 And Pregnant camo-lovin' country girl Autumn is a 16 year-old sophomore from Kentucky whose boyfriend (the highly-quotable) Dustin just will not give up the weed. Autumn is having a son that they plan to name Drake, but she's already the mother to Dustin who is immature, irresponsible, and loves to get hi-hi-hi-hiiiigh! Dustin has hard time accepting that fatherhood will mean giving up his favorite past-time: partying!
Through his red-rimmed eyes and the haze of his pot-glaze, Dustin just does not grasp the concept of parenthood. Of course he is jobless and hanging out with his friends. In fact he's so high I think he forgot he had a girlfriend, let alone one he impregnated. And Dustin sports a hat with beer bottle caps wrapped all around the brim. Classy!
To further complicate Autumn's life her older sister Misty is also a teen mom who had a baby months before. What is happening in this house?! Autumn tells her mom she didn't want to take birth control because she was afraid to gain weight. "I didn't wanna get fat," Autumn says looking down at her bump and revealing she has since gained 40lbs.
So! Shannon Beador. Oh my. On one note she's sort of quirky weird, she's also sort of crazy insane, but at the very least she's very real. She just puts it alllll out there. Whew.
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon's marital implosion continued. This lady's love tank is filled with cruelty-free diamonds, and non-toxic particalizied air mixed with lavender scented essential oils but not love.
Things begin in Hawaii where Tamra Barney is trying to be a good friend to Vicki Gunvalson. You can see Tamra struggling, reading the cliffnotes she wrote on her hand about how to be empathetic and encouraging. These human emotion thingies are foreign concepts. Heather Dubrow is nodding and smiling, shooting Tamra reassuring looks that she's being OK. Remember it's like acting, you have to get into character she had coached her before this dinner while Vicki was examining seashells up the beach.
So Quad Webb-Lunceford got the 'Toya-Treatment' from her old friend Mariah Huq. Are we surprised? Tell me you're not surprised. I mean it wouldn't beMarried To Medicinewithout a drunken Mariah getting her purse-whack on, would it? Too bad the cameras weren't rolling this time!
Mariah is hung-over sick in bed after a traumatic late-night encounter with Quad. While she's in bed Aydin prepares some feel-better soup for mommy except Aydin cuts himself opening the can and gets blood everywhere. Mmmm… yummy! And sanitary. While his gushing finger is bleeding all over the granite he dispatches some kid to stir the soup on the stove while their daughter whacks her head on the fridge. The mess that is Mariah reaches far and wide.
As Mariah eats, (Mariah feasting on the blood of others seems apt, right), she complains that a harrowing experience with Quad has left her unable to attend Toya Bush-Harris' upcoming party. Across town where Puppy Couture reigns supreme, Quad rouses from bed to fill Dr. G in on her run-in with MEriah.
Aaaahhhh… wedding bells – followed quickly by the sound of a jail cell slamming shut! Jenelle Evans and Nathan Griffith's brief but tumultuous relationship is about to go to the next level. With her divorce to Courtland Rogers almost finalized, Jenelle reveals that Nathan has plans to propose – soonish.
Let's just get this out of the way right at the beginning: Porsha Stewart did in fact live up to the hype. She dragged Kenya Moore across that Real Housewives of Atlantareunion stage by her hair like she was a battery-operated real live pageant doll. The queen is down – off with her head! I was shocked. I was stupefied. I literally had flashbacks of my childhood [illicit] Dynasty watching days. Alexis Carrington lives again. Hey – there were just as many sequins flying.
Shockingly no one lost a garment – except Cynthia Bailey whose entire boob popped out as she leaped up to avoid the fight. Andy Cohen claims he was trying to stop things, but let's be frank he's less than useless. He was afraid. He was like a little yappy dog barking on the periphery of two big dogs going head to head. Boy – have several seats. Go ask NeNe Leakesto hold you in her lap, stroke your head, and tell you it's OK. Poor Andy – his own monster is turning on him. It's eating him alive.
So that happened. And it was not unprovoked. It was not all together unwarranted, but it was totally unacceptable. And at the very least, we learned that either Kenya has the best weave in the world or we just got confirmation that is real hair.
Following the fight, Andy Cohen will sit-down for a special one-on-one talk with Porsha. Reportedly, this is where Porsha will say good-bye to the show. With rumors circulating that the cast will go on strike if Porsha is fired, resident HBIC NeNe Leakes is speaking out on the matter. "I don't know where that came from. I've never said that. We don't group up together to do much," NeNe tells Essence.
"You know all of us aren't goosing up together to be going to bat for Porsha. We don't collectively do anything." NeNe continues, "I do think she was on the chopping block before she got into the fight. Fighting Kenya did not help her case."
Of course Andy Cohen has a lot to say about the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion brawl. Despite the fact that he instigates it by casting insane people and encouraging them to act outrageously for ratings sake!
“The other women felt Kenya provoked her a bit…I was so shocked and surprised,” Andyrecounted. “I don’t want that to happen. I think it’s gross. And I think it just totally inappropriate. It’s wrong. It’s not entertaining. It’s just bad.”