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Keeping up with the Kardashians

 kris-jenner-kuwtk

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we saw the final installment of the Thailand vacay. Kim Kardashian continues to believe kids are fashion accessories and momentarily contemplates taking a Thai orphan home. Brody Jenner puts his protective big brother panties on and Khloe Kardashian opens up more about the disaster she once called her marriage..

Things kick off with a group boxing session. Khloe may or may not be visualizing the instructor is Lamar’s cheating a$$. She is a machine. Everyone is impressed and applauds her strength. Brody and Kim feel Khloe should quit kicking the instructors a$$ and just tap his a$$ instead. Kim decides it’s her turn in the ring after all she wants people to clap for her too! Apparently she doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, and instead opts to ding the bell. Everybody claps Kim’s big achievement.

RHOC Heather Dubrow

The reality TV viewer numbers are in. Real Housewives of Orange County remained steady, with 1.778 million watching Lizzie’s sad birthday party. As for the other housewives, a gossip filled episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey garnered 1.885 million viewers, and part one of the Real Housewives of New York reunion attracted 1.312 million.

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta saw a dip in viewership on Monday night, with 3.435 million watching Mimi struggle, but VH1′s ratings powerhouse still won the night. The random Thursday night episode did not fare well, however, with only 2.158 million tuning in. But guess what… it still won the night!

This week’s two episodes of Game of Crowns averaged only 582,000 viewers. Newsflash, Bravo: watching women play dress up and compete for a crown is not very interesting. A double dose of Don’t Be Tardy averaged 1.178 million viewers. Turns out, listening to Kim talk about her hooha and her addictions is more entertaining than Mrs. Pageants. Who knew?

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kim-kardashian-birthday-ricardo

Kim Kardashian seems to be incapable of letting anyone be the center of attention and have a moment in the sun.  Today the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star posted this photo of herself basically naked, wearing only pantyhose, with her wedding veil held over her head by some peasants. 

You’d think this photo had something to do with Kim showing off more pictures from her wedding.  But it isn’t.  It’s actually a Happy Birthday message for Kanye West’s BFF Riccardo Tisci.  Yeah, the two things go together and make perfect sense, right? 

 kendall jenner poses for UK magazine LOVE

Waaaah! Having all of mommy and daddy’s money and connections isn’t making Kendall Jenner happy, y’all! The model complains that the Kardashian name actually makes people not take her seriously. Um… duh?

In fact Kendall claims that she conquered the fashion world without help (not even from Kanye?!) and wanted to separate from her famous family. “I was like, ‘You know what? I want to be high fashion. I want to be taken seriously…People think that this just came to me. But it didn’t,” Kendall said.  

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star continued, “What I have has almost worked against me. I had to work even harder to get where I wanted because people didn’t take me seriously as a model. Because of the TV show.” Quit the show, perhaps?!

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kim-kardashian

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest

Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
 

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta

The reality TV viewer numbers are in. Love & Hip Hop Atlanta continues to crush its competition. A whopping 3.932 million, which is a new season high, watched Lil’ Scrappy and Bambi’s rosey picnic. It is good news for Teen Mom 2 and Real Housewives of New York as well. Teen Mom 2 won its night, with 2.2 million tuning in to see Jenelle confront Nathan, and Real Housewives of New York‘s season finale attracted 1.504 million, a season high. That gives RHONY a season average of 1.279 million viewers.

Holding steady, 1.684 million sat through Tamra’s ridiculous meltdown on Real Housewives of Orange County, 2.292 million followed the Kardashians to Thailand, and 930,000 watched the drama on Don’t Be Tardy

It is bad news for Real Housewives of New Jersey and Game of Crowns. Real Housewives of New Jersey lost over 500K viewers, with 1.642 million total viewers (but only 994,000 viewers in the key demo) watching the holiday episode. The premiere of Game of Crowns did not garner 1.2 million viewers as previously reported. Actually, 666,000 watched the premiere and 516,000 watched this week‘s episode, and now Bravo bumped it out of its time slot next week in favor of Don’t Be Tardy.

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kris jenner releases cookbook

There is always another Kardashian product to be hawked!

Kris Jenner, the pimpmomager matriarch of America’s first family of famewhore is now releasing a family kookbook!  In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites will hit shelves in October and will show you how you can eat to get that famous Kardashian derriere! 

“I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris explained. I’ve only seen Kris cook once on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but I’m sure the family’s favorite restaurants are donating some recipes. Seriously – whenever they are eating on the show it’s takeout or in restaurants or complete crap convenience food (like Kim always eating Ramen Noodles!).

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Beyond Fashion Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

Kanye West is the male version of Farrah Abraham. Anytime either Kanye or Farrah give an interview, I get a headache trying to make sense of it! I sit and stare at the words, hoping they will unscramble themselves, but they never do.

Kanye talked to GQ shortly after his wedding. The result is what I have come to expect from Kanye, scrambled nonsense yet strangely entertaining.

Kanye compared his new wife, Kim Kardashian, to a dinosaur. Because she’s “cool” and “rarely seen” just like a dinosaur. Um, rarely?! First, when was the last time Kanye saw a dinosaur? Second, Kim can be seen 24/7 via Instagram.

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