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It’s like, if they aren’t causing drama, they would shrivel up and disappear (and would that really be so bad?)…that’s right, I am referring to the ladies of Basketball Wives.

Last night’s episode started where last week’s left off, as Shaunie has tried to separate a steaming Evelyn and a holier than thou Jenn. Evelyn has grand plans to go wait around the corner, pretending that she left, and jump Jenn when she leaves the restaurant. Someone is taking a page right out of the Love & Hip Hop playbook, isn’t she? Oh, Kenya. Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. She intervenes in hopes a story about her best friend from fifth grade will calm Evelyn, much to Tami’s chagrin. Tami is sure that Evelyn doesn’t want to hear Kenya’s nonsense. While Kenya agrees, she keeps talking anyway. Tami found the whole party very entertaining, even if it wasn’t what Shaunie had hoped.

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Have you ever watched a TV show and had absolutely NO idea what happened? Yeah, that was pretty much my experience watching last night’s boring episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. So, Phaedra hosted a dedication for Ayden and I don’t know what all that pomp and circumstance was about, but it was very cute. Sheree, at the behest of Bravo, tried to force Damon to propose to her daughter, and Kim and Cynthia had the meekest, tamest showdown in RHOA history. Where’s NeNe when you need her! So, let’s get this recap started!

Things begin with Phaedra running around the church, planning Ayden‘s dedication. Phaedra’s white jeans are distracting me, I hate white jeans. I initially thought it was a baptism and became alarmed, because Bravo’s track record with christenings is not so hot. Bravo certainly likes to use children’s religious ceremonies to create drama, doesn’t it? Anyway, this was a dedication. And it involves the baby being carried on a floating sled thing called a palanquin, surrounded by other children in white, who are ringing bells. Or, maybe that’s just Phaedra’s take on the situation. By the way, did anyone think Phaedra’s pastor was Bobby Brown for a second?!

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Oh Mob Wives, you never disappoint…completely. Last night we started seeing the breakdown of Renee and Junior, and not much of anything else.

Carla is trying to teach Drita how to flirt that doesn’t involve her comparing her biceps to those of potential suitors. They go dancing in the city, but Drita is quick to warn any men that approach her that she likes to get violent. Save that for the fourth date, Drita. At least Drita realizes, the guy she hopes to meet isn’t one of the many meat-heads who are watching her dance on the banquette. She is ready to leave after one of her dance partners cops to knowing Drita’s soon-to-be-ex Lee.

Big Ang is dining with Karen and Ramona. All of their crime families go way back, and Karen likes walking down memory lane. Ang has changed her hair. I’m on the fence about it. Big Ang tells the girls about her arrest, which occurred thanks to her friend wearing a wire. I am sheltered. I think to myself that I would be more concerned about being arrested than blaming the people who got leniency for putting me in that situation (however, I’d be mad at them too!). Own up to your mistakes, people! Big Ang kind of does…

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Last night was the last straw of the latest season of Jersey Shore, culminating in a snooze fest reunion. The season’s highlights are recapped, and everyone laughs at light-hearted jokes about GTL and Deena’s tornado. Mike and Snooki are the first two in the hot seat to discuss the did-they-or-didn’t-they hook up. This reunion was clearly filmed pre-Situation rehab.

The gang watches clips showing how Mike plotted his diabolical plan which was often thwarted in Seaside Heights. Mike claims he didn’t want to be painted as a liar. After the footage, Snooki and Mike are screaming at each other on the reunion sofa. Again, does she protest too much? Rawn is thrilled that they are the new Ronnie and Sam. JWoww stands up for Snooki from the rafters. Rawn reveals that the angrier Nicole appears, the guiltier she looks.

Rawn goes on a roid rage begging them to drop it. Snooki claims that if she was going to hook up with a roommate, it wouldn’t be Mike, it would be Vin, and she’s been there, done that. Literally. Vinny looks uncomfortable. Pauly chimes in, saying that if he had been Jionni, Mike would still be swallowing his teeth. He believes Jionni was too passive. Basically nothing is resolved…no love lost between Snookster and the Sitch.

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Last night’s season finale for Project Runway All Stars went about how I expected. A winner was crowned, the losers flew first class to Paris and everyone else flocked to Neiman Marcus online to start procuring some goods!

The designers arrived at the Gotham Center for the finale show where they each had their own special dressing area, complete with their customized Neiman Marcus accessory walls. Austin still isn’t finished with his evening gown and is rushing around doing last-minute construction. Michael realizes that although he thought he had everything finished, he’s having a ton of last-minute fit issues. Mondo doesn’t seem to be experiencing any trauma–for once–and is confident going into the final show. There’s some last-minute preparations and drama, but nobody really cares about that! Let’s get to the final show.

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I hope you tuned in to last night’s Survivor, if for no other reason than to see how much more awful Colton could behave.

After voting off Monica, mean girls Colton and Alicia tell Christina that she has no friends and no allies. Colton compares her to a cockroach after a nuclear war, surviving things she shouldn’t have and suggests she form an alliance with a hermit crab. The duo won’t let Christina have any space in their shelter. Alicia feels the need to get some jabs in at Christina’s expense so Colton doesn’t think she’s too soft. I can’t BELIEVE she teaches special ed. For shame.

It’s been a tad chilly at night on the island, and Salani awakens to a clue that promises childhood backyard shenanigans and potential sweet treats. Kat had a dream where she was murdered by Alicia at the mall. Troyzan is just thrilled he’s not on the misfit Manono tribe.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was kinda boring, no? Alexis and Briana got surgery. Tamra discovered Simon is finally ready to let her be the free bitch she was meant to be – but she’s not sure she’s ready to live a life unfettered. Tamra and Vicki join Heather in LA where she is embarking upon a restaurant venture.

Things started out with Tamra paying a visit to her plastic surgeon, Dr. Ambae. Has anyone else noticed the Housewives always hug their doctors – who hugs their doctors? I’ve never hugged any of mine, but I guess if I were as reliant on my plastic surgeons as they are, it may be a different story. OR if my doctor was Paul, because I love him.

Anyway, Tamra wants to get her breasts reduced. Now that she is no longer beholden to Simon and his ideals about her body, she wants a smaller, less cumbersome rack. We get a close-up montage of Tamra’s old DDs and frankly, who wants to see a close up of wrinkled, spray-tanned cleavage? Dr. Ambae examines Tamra’s boobs and determines she has a lot of natural breast tissue so she can likely get the reduction done without adding smaller implants to fill things out. Tamra explains that those babies never stop growing! Third boobs, third marriage!

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Last night’s Basketball Wives finally gave us some new venues for the ladies one-on-one and two-on-one chats. There is farm scenery and four-wheeling. Cocktails are enjoyed on a balcony, walks are taken on the beach, and I think I even saw some roller blades. Sure there were the regular bar and restaurant chats, but gracious, if they are going to stick to this format, I am thankful they mixed it up just a little.

The women are back in Miami, and mean girls Evelyn and Tami meet with their leader Shaunie to brag about their Kesha bashing dinner. Evelyn touts her $h!t sniffing abilities when it comes to getting the dirt on people. At least the first part sounds about right. Shaunie is having a birthday dinner and wants all the ladies in attendance. She admits to Evelyn that Jen will also be at the celebration. Evelyn knows she’s going to be uber-uncomfortable, but she’s willing to be in that situation for her friend…just don’t let her have more than two drinks. Tami asks to be seated across the table from Jen and Evelyn so she can watch all the drama unfold from the front row.

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