After last week’s
snoozefest episode, it was about time Southern Charm offered up some serious drama that didn’t involve Craig Conover getting his feelings hurt. Last night was the highly anticipated return of Ashley Jacobs, who proved, yet again, that she can’t take responsibility for any of her actions. It is exhausting to watch her battle over semantics, but it’s torturously entertaining. Let’s dig right in to last night’s show, shall we?
While the OG Charmers are bonding with their pooches, Recent College Grad is complaining about how hard it is to be overshadowed by the Limehouse name. With three hotels and a $50 million inheritance in her future, Eliza works hard to learn the family business booking reservations and covering shifts at hotels. She is not just a spoiled polo brat like most people assume. Eliza discusses the skeet shoot brunch she and her boyfriend Don will be hosting at her family’s plantation. Her mother nags her about emo manicure and sleep habits…and the fact that Eliza is dating someone fourteen years her senior. She wonders if her daughter is seeking a father-figure in her older beaus. Her mother would rather Eliza marry into another well-bred Southern family instead of traipsing around with some thirty-something from (gasp!) New Jersey.
Cameran Eubanks and Naomie Olindo are nursing hangovers at the nail salon after a big night at Cam’s birthday party. Cam fills in Naomie on Craig’s meltdown over her relationship with Metul Shah. Cameran urges Naomie to talk to Craig. She was his first love, and he needs closure. Across town, Shep Rose, Craig, and Little Craig are walking and talking about the same. Craig thinks it is ridiculous that Naomie won’t be going on the group trip since Craig is going. Shep finds it tragic that their once fun relationship has been replaced with awkwardness. He coaches Craig on what he should say to Naomie to get the closure he needs.
In an effort to clean up his lifestyle, Austen Kroll is joining Kathryn Dennis and Chelsea Meissner at a barre class. It kicks his ass as much as it does mine. Chelsea asks if Austen is keeping up with his 11 PM curfew and whether Madison LeCroy knows about his positive changes. Austen is waiting to tell her until he makes sure he’s able to maintain it. The crew laughs about Craig’s outburst at the oyster roast when he screamed at Austen for being beholden to Chelsea’s curfew. Of course, these guys don’t hold a grudge, and Austen states that Craig has been texting him as if nothing had happened.
The conversation moves to the skeet shoot, but Kathryn won’t be in attendance due to her brother’s wedding. Chelsea is worried that Ashley may be there, and it’s probably not a great idea for her to be anywhere near firearms given her past drama with the group. Speaking of, RCG is running errands downtown and chatting on the phone with
RBF Ashley. Ashley reveals that, while she and Thomas Ravenel still get Botox together, even though they are no longer a couple. It was too hard for her to keep dating T-Rav with the rape allegations against him. Since he wasn’t allowed to leave the state, it made it impossible for them to jet set. It was super stressful, y’all.
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Eliza is surprised to learn of the break-up, and she invites Ashley to her skeet shoot brunch after being upfront about Kathryn’s absence. Ashley needs something fun to distract her from the heartbreak.
Cameran has enlisted Shep to help her convince Naomie to come on their Colorado trip even though Craig will be going as well. Shep doesn’t see an issue. He’s convinced that Craig is completely over Naomie because, well, Craig said he was. Cameran is shocked that Shep can’t see just how hung up Craig still is on Naomie. When Naomie arrives, her pals are already halfway through their lunch. What is it going to take to get Naomie to join them in Colorado? Naomie asserts that traveling with her ex makes Metul uncomfortable, and she can certainly see his point. She wouldn’t want him vacationing with one of his exes without her around.
Cameran thinks this is a bad start for their fledgling relationship, but Naomie counters that Cameran would respect husband Jason’s wishes if he felt the same. The difference, Shep points out, is that Jason would never tell Cameran what to do. Naomie argues that Metul has told her to do what she wants, but she also wants to keep him around because he’s such a good guy. Shep reminds her that if he’s that great of a guy, he’ll stick around regardless.
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Patricia Altchul’s butler Michael has prepared a bro breakfast feast for Whitney Sudler-Smith, Austen, and Craig prior to Eliza’s skeet shoot. The guys give Craig a hard time, per the usual, and Whitney is happy to see that Austen is back in Craig’s good graces. Craig jokes that he calmly told Austen not to listen to the girls’ advice as it relates to his lifestyle.
Austen finds this statement rich, as his guy friends are notorious for trying to sabotage his love life. Austen likens his friend’s behavior to that of a banshee, and Craig wonders if banshees are real. Plus, he can’t actually be an Irish witch since he’s Dutch.
Meanwhile, RCG is setting up for her party she’s throwing at her family’s plantation. The property is insane. I, for one, would like to see her grandfather Buck as a show staple just like Little Craig has become a fixture. The group arrives, and Naomie impresses the men with her skeet shooting skills. Austen, not so much.
Cameran and Chelsea approach Craig about his feelings for Naomie before she interrupts to ask him to chat. Craig hates that Naomie is missing the ski trip because of him. He wants her to be happy. She explains that it is respect thing with Metul, and she accuses him of not being over her. Craig disagrees. He is over her, but he didn’t get the necessary closure. Craig admits he hasn’t handled himself well due to some residual post-beak-up depression, but he’s working on figuring out what to do with his life. He’s happy for Naomie, and she is glad that they are able to finally talk as friends.
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As the guests sit down to eat heaping plates of delicious barbecue, Cameran questions Eliza about Ashley’s whereabouts. Eliza seems taken aback that Cam has this intel, but she responds that the Christian thing to do is forgive and forget. You’d think if RCG really wants to make nice with this group, she would have warned them about her surprise guest. Eliza also denies knowing that Ashley has said nasty things about Patricia, which Whitney finds hard to believe. On cue, Ashley struts into the party, sending the ladies into a panic. Shep greets her cordially while Craig completely ignores her in a classic Craig move.
Naomie also high tails it from the table followed by Austen. Danni Baird is equally unsettled. Ashley takes offense when Shep inquires as to her relationship status with T-Rav. She should just be thrilled that someone is speaking to her! As Ashley looms at the beverage truck, the Charmers are terrified to refill their cocktails. Naomie is able to convince Whitney to refresh her Moscow mule, but when he ices Ashley, Ashley calls him out on it. He calmly reminds her that she has been shiz talking his mom and tries to walk away.
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Ashley refuses to back down, bitching that Patricia hasn’t been nice to her and should know better than to be so hateful. Patricia has ruined her life and she’d rather not talk about it, if Whitney wouldn’t mind. Um, he doesn’t mind at all, escaping the exchange after calling Ashley delusional.
Naomie and Cameran are trying to explain to RCG just how psychotic Ashley’s past behavior has been (as if Eliza didn’t watch last season!) while Danni falls victim to a very awkward Ashley hug. Kathryn’s friend (and Gwynn’s owner) Madison (not to be confused with Austen’s ex Madison) nicely tells Ashley that people may still have an issue with her due to her past treatment of Kathryn. Ashley offers up a syrupy apology, citing she needs to better empathize with others. She hates that she hurt Kathryn. Madison brings up the nasty lies that Ashley posted about Kathryn on social media, and Ashley admonishes her for trying to dredge up the past…um, it was last week!
When Madison makes this point, Ashley snaps at her to shut her mouth. Her social media posts have nothing to do with Madison. Ashley is trying to make peace with Madison, and she is frustrated that Madison isn’t making it easier. Madison reminds her that ten seconds haven’t passed since Ashley told her shut her mouth. Ashley denies making that statement, and Danni intervenes with a play-by-play. Ashley doesn’t have time for such nonsense on her apology tour. She’ll write Kathryn a letter…after one more drink.
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RCG had good intentions, but they are failing miserably. She had hoped Ashley would make amends, but instead, she’s on a rampage. The girl has zero humility and is hell bent on convincing everyone that she has done nothing wrong and is a total victim. She prances over to speak with Cameran and Chelsea, hoping to have better luck with their table. She tries to make small talk about Charleston before Cameran blatantly asks why Ashley tweeted a week ago that all the Charmers were losers. Ashley has an excuse for everything. She was simply defending herself. After all, Cam once said she was a horrible person. Perhaps she’s just trying to prove her right!
Ashley is just a pawn in a nasty game of chess, and it’s not T-Rav who is moving the pieces. She accuses Patricia of turning her against Kathryn in an effort to take her down. Chelsea wonders why she is sitting at their table when she could be sitting with Eliza. Ashley isn’t trying to be best friends with these girls, but she’d like to coexist. What if they run into each other downtown? Can’t they be civil? Chelsea hopes her ass never runs into Ashley since the one time Naomie saw her, Ashley screamed at her in a full restaurant and called her a bitch.
Ashley admonishes Chelsea for believing a false rumor, but Madison interrupts to remind Ashley that she was dining with Naomie on the night in question. It absolutely went down the way Chelsea described. Caught in another lie, Ashley changes course. Naomie is a bitch, but it was wrong of her to actually say it out loud. Now can’t they all just get along?
At the next table, Eliza is ready to kick Ashley out of her party, but Danni urges her to listen to just how nasty this woman can be. RCG gets it now, and she is angry that Ashley can’t just apologize and be done with it. Chelsea is trying to get Ashley to understand (and failing miserably!) that it is hard to be nice to someone who recently called their friend a bitch. Ashley won’t be swayed. One, the restaurant wasn’t that full, so it’s not like a ton of people heard her, and two, Naomie and Madison hadn’t gotten their food yet, so they weren’t technically eating dinner. That clears it up, right?
It’s big fat lie that Ashley called Naomie a bitch when she was having dinner in a crowded restaurant. But, that’s in the past, and Ashley doesn’t want to be stuck in the past. She is sad. She has regrets. If only mean, old Patricia hadn’t messed up her life, maybe these girls would have been her good friends. Austen calls out her crocodile tears. No one can believe a word that comes out of her mouth.
Naomie tells her version of events pertaining to bitch-gate, and this time Ashley claims she was just joking with Naomie. It was funny, remember!?! Maybe not, but what is hilarious is the fact that Craig and Shep have avoided all the drama and are commentating from afar.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DO YOU MISS ASHLEY ON SOUTHERN CHARM?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]