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Last night’s episode of Basketball Wives: L.A. was just a whole bunch of lunch. The ladies were meeting up left and right to gossip over whoever wasn’t invited to restaurant…and nine times out of ten, that person was Draya.

Imani and Malaysia meet for lunch. Draya has reached out to Malaysia, and Imani teases that the two will be new BFFs. Malaysia is unsure as to why Draya wants to meet up with her. Sure, she was compassionate about her situation, but that hardly means she wants to be buddy-buddy. Imani thinks it is Draya’s way of being manipulative.

Gloria heads to an audition for Cedric the Entertainer’s new show. Her first reading is dubbed “a practice round,” and Gloria says it’s hard to act as if she’s flirting with her crush when she is reading with an older woman. She is praised on her second go-round, but I don’t know if this is the kind of publicity Cedric the Entertainer was hoping for with his new endeavor.

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Well, finally – finally – we reached the season finale to the arduous, tortuous, never-ending season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And it was kinda disappointing, no? Maybe cause we already knew what was happening real time.

Things start off with Melissa meeting with Teresa’s her stylist, because she is an over-the-hill wannabe pop star and over-the-hill wannabe pop stars need to look good! Really booby and trampy apparently = good. Melissa’s stylist, or is it Teresa’s stylist, suggests she wrap a scarf around her boobs and wear it as a shirt. Right. Let me get this straight: TWO WOMEN are paying this woman money to make them look like hookers and fighting over who she styles? There is some issue about how Teresa didn’t want her to also style Melissa. Maybe she wanted Melissa to actually look good?

While Terlissa’s stylist is there, Melissa gets a call from Teresa about the family photoshoot they are planning. Melissa claims this is the first family photo shoot she and Joe have been invited to and she is excited to put the past behind her and move forward. Why do I not believe her?

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On last night’s episode of Jersey Shore, the girls and guys take separate mini-vacays. Things are off-again-on-again for Snooki with both her boyfriend Jionni and her biffle JWoww. The Situation stirs the pot, and Pauly D sits back and watches it all like he’s on my couch watching with me. I actually think that would be a blast!

Snooki wakes up discombobulated in Vinny’s bed, and she goes to wake up JWoww at the chipper hour of 7am. Jenni doesn’t know where Snooks slept, but Snooki reveals in her confessional that she would never cheat on Jionni. In fact, she specifically remembers telling him “we’re done” before hopping into Vin’s bed. JWoww reluctantly gets up and fills Nicole in on how she defended her to Mike the previous night.

Mike wanders into the ladies’ room after hearing a lot of yelling. Snooki starts screaming at him. Perhaps the lady protests too much. Snooki and JWoww head out for a breakfast of mimosas, and Mike calls his friend Unit (seriously?) who was diddling Ryder on the night in question. The Situation wants to make sure he didn’t make up the sexcapades in his head. Unit confirms Mike’s version of the story. Over their champagne brunch, Snooki admits to JWoww that she hooked up with Vinny but that they didn’t smush….that she remembers.

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Last night’s episode of Project Runway was FOR THE BIRDS. Literally. And as far as innovation goes, it suffered a broken wing. Warning: I’m feeling feisty and the snark might ruffle some feathers!

Heidi Klum issues the challenge clue: “Spread your wings!” and sends the designers into the workroom where Tim Gunn is with some … BIRDS! Oh, and Loreal Paris’ Collier Strong! Tim announces the birds will serve as inspiration for a high fashion runway look, which will correspond with Loreal’s new Take Flight make-up collection. The winning design will be featured in a Loreal Paris Advertorial in Marie Claire and the winning designer will also receive $20K.

Tim also announces the designers are working in pairs, but instead of being a team they are actually going head-to-head; one designer will be best look, and the other worst! Tim randomly draws names to choose teams: Besties, Anya and Laura, who will be using the raven for inspiration, Viktor and Kimberly who will be using a beautiful pink bird, and Bert and Eyebrows McSequins who will be basing their design on an Amazon Parrot.

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Last night we bid a final farewell to MTV’s original Teen Mom cast. Well, not technically final, because I’m sure they will keep filming this train wreck as long as their are folks like me to watch it!

The finale resumes with a saddened Amber rejoining her mother on Dr. Drew’s sofa after the doctor goes to speak with her. At the end of the first half of the reunion Amber had stormed off stage because she was so upset discussing her younger sister’s death from SIDS when Amber was four years old. Dr. Drew assures Amber that SIDS is sadly a common killer of infants and no one is to blame.

Amber’s mother remembers that the mother-daughter relationship was very stressful before Amber got pregnant. Dr. Drew uses Amber and her mother as a tutorial for parents who are concerned about their child’s sex lives, discussing how to overcome the awkwardness of broaching the subject of sex with one another.

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On last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Mama-to-be Rachel faced the harsh realities that having a child and being uber pregnant means you can’t do it all, as the Oscars descended upon the ill and exhausted Rachel!

Things open with a super-pregnant Rachel having a melt down about clothes – among her zillions and zillions of items she simply has NO maternity clothes and can find nothing to wear. I’m not sure why she is trying to stuff herself into regular people clothes in her third trimester, but that appears to be the case! It’s Rodger and Rachel’s anniversary, so instead of spending it together she has accepted a consulting job. According to Rachel, since she is so busy and so pregnant, this doesn’t feel like their anniversary, so she doesn’t feel like celebrating. She has way too many famous people to attend to!

A Page Six gossip piece emerges announcing former-assistant Brad is styling former Zoe client Demi Moore and everyone is in a tailspin. Rachel announces he only worked with Demi ONE TIME and people need to fact check. I guess we should pay no credence to the rumor that Brad did all the work either.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we met newbie Dana Wilkey who is very … well, ok she is tacky. Adrienne threw a Bar-B-Que for the ladies which also ended up being tacky thanks to Brandi – who is still having issues with Kyle. Lisa provided CNN with coverage of The Royal Wedding and Kim added to the speculation that she may have some substance abuse issues.

Kyle and Taylor are headed to Dana’s house for lunch. Dana and Taylor met while a nine-months pregnant Dana was driving a Lamborghini. Dana answers the door wearing a tiara. And a hooker pagent dress. Seriously, she looked like a busted up Miss America, with fake boobs up to her eyebrows. As Dolly Parton said: “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!” Taylor describes Dana as liking things over the top. She seems nice, but desperate. And she gives me a grifter vibe. Maybe it’s her friendship with Taylorexic?

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In light of all the real-time drama of the past few days, I felt very sad watching last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa, Kathy, The Joes, and Melissa all made-up and seemed to be working positively towards the future, but current drama lets us know it doesn’t last!

These women have sold their integrity and self-respect, and in the process destroyed their families and friendships for a small piece of fame and little bit of extra money. I hope it was worth it. And when no one remembers who they are, except for the fleeting memories of how they once appeared on our TV screens to embarrass themselves for amusement and some designer shoes; I hope the little bit of extra money they earned is at least enough to pay for their kids’ therapy. Lord knows, they’ll need it!

Full disclosure: I don’t believe Teresa set Melissa up. 1) I don’t believe she’s capable of masterminding something that involved. Or keeping it a secret long enough for it to pan out. 2) She seems to really love her brother. I do believe she wants a relationship with him at all costs. As to what happened, I suppose maybe time will tell, and maybe not.

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