Recaps

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Little Women: LA unleashed a big news item yesterday that will surely rock the worlds of every baby-thirsty castmate on its roster: Elena Gant is indeed pregnant with twins! She and Preston expect the babies in June and, so far, mom-to-be is healthy and happy. (No word on whether the babies have been determined to be little or average sized yet.) Yay for Elena and Preston! Not sure when the big reveal will happen on the current season’s timeline, but it sure throws some perspective on Elena’s anger at Jasmine Sorge not inviting her to that “mommy” party in episode one, does it not? Hmmm. Now, on to the show!

At Jasmine’s father’s restaurant, she and her hubby Chris are discussing how working there is going for him. It’s not his dream job, obviously, but until he finds in-state railroad work, it’ll do. In the spirit of extending an olive branch to Elena, Jasmine wants to invite all of the ladies and their significant others to a “couples” party at the restaurant. Chris admits it might feel awkward for him to be busing tables while the party ensues, but sweet guy that he is, says he’ll go with the flow for Jasmine’s sake. Dang, woman! Can’t you at least schedule this party on a night that the better other half of YOUR couple can attend as a guest!?  

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I’m not going to lie, watching last night’s Mob Wives was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do for this gig. I’ve recapped this show since it started, and I loved getting to see Big Ang’s fun-loving personality on her drama-free spin-off Big Ang. It’s so sad to recap Ang’s battle with cancer (and her co-stars’ ridiculous petty, immature, and bullish behavior) knowing the outcome. However, I poured a glass of wine, toasted Ang’s sass and class, and tried to keep the tears to a minimum…and I’m guessing a lot of you did the same!

When the episode begins, Drita D’avanzo is still raging at the thought that Karen Gravano is spreading lies about Lee, but she won’t let it spoil the high of her finishing the first draft of her memoir. She shares a precious exchange with daughter Giselle whose birthday is quickly approaching. All Giselle wants as a gift is a second puppy, but she knows her dad will be a tough sell. Drita does a role play where she pretends to be Lee so Giselle can practice her powers of persuasion. Get that adorable child another dog!

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Last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills no one was “really f–king good”. Loyalties were spread around like warm patè* and at the center of it all was the condescending smirk of Yolanda Foster

I do not like my Lisa Vanderpump fighting with my Eileen Davidson. Unequivocally my two favorite Housewives, I demand they become friends. Eileen is my Spirit Housewife, but Lisa is the Top Seat in my Fantasy Housewife League. I don’t have time for all the over-analyzing required of choosing sides. I blame Erika Jayne-Giradi and by default Yolanda for this. Erika had an extremely brief moment in the sun, didn’t she? 

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Thank goodness Maddie was back on last night’s Dance Moms. She has to mitigate some of Abby Lee Miller’s crazy, right? Um, that’s to be determined. The ALDC welcomes back Maddie from her movie shoot, but Abby is quick to remind her that she didn’t garner the first place spot due to all of her gaps in training. Melissa interrupts to ask Abby if she saw Maddie’s segment on Ellen. Nope! Melissa reminds Abby she e-mailed it so she can still watch it. A dismissive Abby claims she’s too busy to take the time to view the three minute clip, and Maddie is clearly hurt. 

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On last night’s Vanderpump Rules it was The Wash, Rinse, Repeat Hour with Jax Taylor, but he is the stain you can’t remove! Unlike James Kennedy who was f-f-f-fired! 

Ariana Madix is in a funk. Is that funk is hanging out with Scheana Marie (who complains that Ariana hasn’t been there as much as Scheana needs her to be)?  Ariana carries a general malaise that can’t be cured by looking hot in a lace bikini! If shopping doesn’t work like Prozac, something is amiss! It’s not like Ariana is Stassi Schroeder, living on Kristen Doute‘s couch (no, no – not the one she banged Jax on while watching Drive, but more on that couch in a bit!). 

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Real Housewives of Atlanta recap

Love and regret were in the air on Real Housewives Of Atlanta! Kenya Moore was getting ‘Come to Jesus’ talks from everyone (and their wayward sisters), but she came correct with apologies. But, not without a few bad deeds first. We’ll await to see if the bad deeds or the ‘I’m sawrries’ were sincere! 

At the wrap party for Cynthia Bailey‘s ‘mercial (is she being charged extra for the ‘com’ part in the word ‘commercial’?), Super-Awesome Person Sheree Whitfield is at it again! After 8 seasons of living lies, She By SheBroke has had enough fakeness and lets Kim Fields know they were gossiping about Chris‘ sexuality. After a round shocked facial expressions, Porsha Williams points to Kenya as the one who spread the rumor. Sheree admits she, Porsha, and Phaedra Parks Googled Chris, and gay rumors are out there. Kim claims she’s never heard them, at least not from under the rock where she’s been living. 

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After last week’s Real Housewives of Potomac, I had renewed hope that this franchise had beaten all of it could out of its overplayed etiquette theme and was ready to set sail in deeper waters. Perhaps the first season kinks, which are inevitable in a new franchise with a virtually unknown cast, are just getting worked out? I remain cautiously optimistic!    

Karen Huger and her daughter Rayvin are taking a self defense class together in preparation for Rayvin’s days on the mean streets of State College, PA. Karen was mugged last year on her way out of the mall, and she lost her cubic zirconia diamond necklace in the ordeal. But the perp didn’t snatch her diamond ring. Why? She slid it down into “never never land.” (Can we never never hear that reference again, please!?) In order that Rayvin not meet the same fate of shoving rings into coochie cracks, Karen helps her practice her punches and pummels. She is not ready to send Rayvin out into the world yet, though, and chokes up when they talk of college being just around the corner. Karen knows her daughter is strong and will thrive, but she reminds her to kick anyone’s a$$ who threatens her safety. And just in case, she bought her a pink stun gun.

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Little Women: Atlanta Relationship REboot

Last night on Little Women: Atlanta Miss Minnie Ross celebrated her birthday and decided to turn over a new leaf. Meanwhile Andrea and Amanda Salinas struggled with loser boyfriends and missing home.

First of all, what are the twins even doing in Atlanta? They moved from Texas, Andrea leaving behind her toddler son, to make it as a twerking tiny twin act? Really? Thankfully Andrea and Amanda’s parents seem extremely unimpressed by their career goals. 

One thing the twins have accomplished is wreaking havoc on The Cheeks friend group. After Bri Barlup and Emily Fernandez learned that Minnie got the twins an interview at the club they twerk at, they decided to distance themselves. Since it’s Minnie’s birthday she wants to start fresh and invites Emily and Bri to lunch.

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