All aboard! Last week’s debut of Below Deck Mediterranean introduced us to a brand new cast (with the exception of chef Ben Robinson), and set the stage for semi-rough waters ahead. Last seen, chief stew Hannah Ferrier was schlepping all over the stunning Greek isle of Paros searching in vain for a Pittsburgh Steelers game. No, that is not a Mad Libs sentence – that is the sad, sad truth. Why is she on this fool’s errand? Because the trashy yacht guests demand it!
The question these charter guests may want to ask themselves is: selves, why have we traveled to the Greek Isles in the midst of football season? Especially if we’re swearing that we’ve “never missed a Steelers game” in our itty bitty lives? Alas, these questions aren’t the ones being asked. Instead, the guests turn their wrath on Hannah, who tells them they have no chance of finding a Steelers game on this island. Her last hope lies with Captain Mark Howard, who is still trying to get the game to stream on the ship. (This is literally what the guests/staff/captain are obsessed with? THEY ARE IN PARADISE!!! Pfffffffffftt…Steelers.)
While Stephanie bursts into tears, Tiffany Hendra chases LeeAnne out the door. Something tells me Tiffany is always running after LeeAnne to talk her down from the edge…. Tiffany needs a new co-dependence partner. Keith Suburban not dramatic enough for her?
I love my Southern Charm like I love my bourbon: a hearty serving at least once a week and cosigned by Craig Conover. Neat, of course. After last week’s roller-(d)rama at the rink, the sixth episode of the season had the cast sipping, JD quipping, and Craig dipping…his head in shame after claiming to run his friend’s whiskey brand. Oops! It wasn’t a purposeful lie, but rather wishful thinking, right?
Mike Shouhed is busy taking what I can only assume are purchase orders for shoes on his cell while the women folk cook a pretty sad looking spread of shrimp and veggies on the grill. Awkward small talk is being made and you can tell GG is already drunk by the time she cross eyes up Mike to tell her why she is so angry at him. She doesn’t like how he talks to her and Mike sets his phone down long enough to apologize profusely and say he will let it all go. GG slurs some type of response to indicate she can move on. Asa Soltan Rahmati wastes no time turning this into a spiritual event. Asa says she wants to throw their issues into the fire while Mike and GG hug it out.
Welcome back, Sister Wives. I’d like to say I’ve missed Kody Brown and crew, and maybe I have…but not two hours worth. Not at all. However, I am grateful for that extra sixty minutes of Kody’s hair, Meri’s whining, and Robyn’s sobbin’, but geez, TLC, couldn’t you give us something to look forward to throughout the season? The super-sized season premiere begins with the family recapping Maddie’s serious relationship with Caleb, the family’s trip to Alaska, while Meri stays silent. She is too busy wondering how she’s going to spin this catfish story. Meri admits to having feelings for the man she thought she was speaking to online and over the phone who ended up being a woman who had targeted her on social media. She reveals how difficult it was to share the news with Kody and her sister wives, and the other women weigh in on Meri’s behavior during this time.
Sporting a new haircut, Kody complains that Maddie is always moody when she’s apart from Caleb. The wives joke that he should be used to female emotions by now. Returning from a trip to visit Montana to visit Caleb, while scouting jobs and apartments, the family is gathered for a big dinner. With the wave of her hand, Maddie announces her engagement and Truely loses her cool. The date has been set, and corny Kody starts jonesing for a road trip with Caleb to search for venues in Wyoming. Janelle is concerned that they are less than a year out with minimal planning.
The standout moment from last night’s Real Housewives Of New York was that nearly every woman wore the exact same dress to Ramona Singer‘s birthday lunch. We’re no longer fighting for control of Ramona Blue, it is now Ramona Red!
Dorinda Medley meets Carole Radziwill for dumplings. Of course, the real reason for this feast is to discuss everything that went down in the Hamptons at Jules Wainstein‘s Joker’s Funhouse of Construction Deathtraps. Carole says it was an awkward vibe, but surprisingly admits that she and Bethenny Frankel behaved badly.
Suddenly, careening through the door in a gold leather jacket, like The Flash (if he lingered a whisper of pissiness and perfume), is Jules. She plops down – I never even had time to notice if she ate or not because she talked so much and so fast about the terrible impression Bethenny’s abrasiveness has given her.
This season on Little Women: NY, we see that while some things have changed (new cast members and living situations), some things remain the same. Lila Call is still working on her sobriety after a bumpy first season and Dawn Lang remains as self-righteous as ever. On the season premiere, we get to see both of those issues play out in full force, thanks in part to Terra Jole from Little Women: LA making an very unwelcome appearance.
Lila’s life seems to be on track for now – she’s sober, happy, and has a new roommate. Turns out it’s none other than Jason Perez. He finally managed to cut the cord and move out of his parent’s house and has even been seeing someone special for a few months. Jason is so happy, he’s ready to celebrate with a Pajama Jam party, where his mystery love interest will be making an appearance. Lila acknowledges that living with a boy can be hard and she has to set some ground rules – no walking around naked, no leaving the toilet seat up, and Jason better make himself scarce when Lila has a gentleman caller. Apparently the walls are very thin.
It’s time for part two of the Little Women: LA reunion! And I, for one, could not be happier about the choice of hosts for this big ole mess. Last week, Kevin Frazierran this show like a BOSS, and tonight he’s taking things one step further by insisting that Matt Ericson sit down, put his big boy pants (as opposed to his Peter Pan Pants) on, and listen up as his disgusting texts to other women are read aloud in front of the entire cast. Let us take a moment of silence to thank the reality gods for putting Kevin Frazier in our lives. Amen.
Okay, here we go! Part one of the season 4 reunion ended on a stage break, during which Christy McGinity asked Briana Renee if she “okay’d” the sexts the entire cast was about to hear? No, says Briana. But it doesn’t look like she has much control. And let’s face it: not having control over anything happening around her, to her, or near her seems to be Briana’s ultimate character flaw. Or at least she believes it to be. I’d argue that she has plenty of control over this mess she’s in, but chooses to hide her head in the sand instead. Suddenly, Matt takes issue with the texts too, claiming they’re “grotesque” and he doesn’t want to stick around to hear them repeated. Uh, wait up homie! We thought you went into some sort of fugue state and didn’t recall anything about what you wrote? #RememberTHAT?