Recaps

celebrity apprentice team infinity

On last night’s episodes of Celebrity Apprentice there was Housewives drama! Brandi Glanville started her whining victim act, and Kenya Moore temporarily was able to be the cream that rises to the top. However – we know that’s all short-lived and I fully stand by my opinion that Kenya and Brandi are birds of a feather who hate together. 

As always, this recap will contain spoilers, so do not read on if you don’t want to know who got fired.  

Everyone is PMSing because they’re still reeling from the previous boardroom. Meaning, Geraldo Rivera remains in the game. Also Shawn Johnson  announced that Vivica A. Fox is menopausal. Kenya squirreled that nugget away for future use

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kristen doute refuses to move on from tom sandoval

When most people go on vacation they leave the crazy at home, but not Scheana Marie. She wanted to have a memorable bachelorette party in Miami  and she got one because last night on Vanderpump Rules the crazy went off the rails. 

Sometimes when I write these recaps I wish I had more time to ponder the happenings. I get myopic vision and tunnel in on certain ideas, then I read or see something else and it’s like: aha! How did I miss that? But alas, the world of blogging moves swiftly and there is no time for deep consideration about reality TV. 

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love hip hop peter gunz tara wallace

Oh, Love & Hip Hop! Anything for a story line, right? If this is how we’re going to play the entire season, I’m going to need Mona Scott Young to invest in some serious acting classes for Diamond Strawberry. She is far from believable. She’s anticipating (and responding) to Cisco’s baby mama drama before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Last night’s episode begins with Diamond flipping out over the news that Cisco has a six month old child with his other child’s mother when he and Diamond have “been together for two years.” He defends his baby mama to her outcries of “that ho” and “that b!tch,” but he feels horrible to upset Diamond at her own party. Diamond can’t believe this turn of events. Doesn’t he know she left her friends and family back in L.A. to make this work? By God, her daughter misses her. No one feels badly for you stupid decision to move away from your child for some cheating man, honey.

Peter Gunz is still walking a fine line between Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace. Peter shares that he’s been tapped to be the face of a new energy drink, and they need him to fly to Trinidad for a photo shoot. I think he meant to say he was taking a family vacation to Barbados with Tara and his boys. Amina is floored that he could possibly miss the birth of their child. She is, after all, due in two weeks. Peter guarantees that he won’t miss the birth unless there’s a hurricane. He guilts her by saying that now more than ever they need the money. I wonder what’s going to happen when she finds out he’s spending money on Tara instead of making it. He feels bad lying to his wife, but a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do, right? 

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claudia jordan vs. nene leakes in puerto rico

Was anyone else totally confused by this episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta? I don’t know what was more disturbing: the majorly disjointed story or Claudia Jordan‘s feet. I need some clarity on motives here – and also on shade, which I thought was genteel and left one guessing, not obviously wrong like a bunion crusted-foot. 

The clips set-up this episode to be a big show-down in Puerto Rico between the establishment and the upstarts (not unlike an episode of Downton Abbey, although I dare say Lady Mary’s reads are far superior to anyone on RHOA). And yes, that did happen, but I felt like we’re missing some serious backstory. Was there a reason Phaedra Parks is suddenly gunning for Demetria McKinney like Evander Holyfield? Is Phaedra in love with Roger Bobb too? Speaking which, I beginning to believe Roger the Friendly Ghost comes from Claudia’s mysterious sugar daddy connect – or Kenya Moore‘s over-active iMANgination!

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sister wives

So did anyone change the channel from the Golden Globes to tune into Sister Wives? I think Kody Brown’s hair could have trumped any of the celebrity manes on the red carpet!

Last night was yet another road trip with the Browns to–you guessed it–meet another polygamist family! We also learn that the latest lady to move into the cul-de-sac compound is Christine’s mom. Mykelti is clearly her mother’s daughter when it comes to enthusiasm, and Janelle is nervous about returning home. After the vacation, Janelle hopes to speak to Meri about their tumultuous past. The family’s first stop is at their friend’s polygamy museum. Of course it is. Kody plans to hit him up for a business loan for My Sister Wife’s Closet. Kody asks for about $100,000, but his friend wants collateral for the loan. Perhaps Robyn would suffice? I just don’t see how that tacky jewelry inventory is worth securing that amount of money. 

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mob wives ladies

Wow. Last night’s Mob Wives was like something out of the cartoon movie The Secret of NIHM. Am I aging myself? Probably. But gracious! Both have a lot of rats! It begins with Big Ang and Renee Graziano hashing out their issues, but Ang has invited a surprise guest. It’s Darryl Hannah from Splash! Sure, she’s a little older and she’s wearing a suit, but the hair is the same! Renee tries to raise an eyebrow (damn, Botox!). She has no issues with Victoria Gotti, but the Gottis and Karen Gravano’s family have beef. Renee wonders why Ang would invite Victoria knowing that her loyalties lie with biffle Karen. Ang is hoping that Victoria and Renee’s past will make Renee listen to what she has to say. Immediately, Renee wants to know Victoria’s opinion on outsiders. “Hate ‘em.” Check!

Renee feels like she may have an ally and tells Victoria that an slime ball outsider is slandering her all over the Twitterverse, yet Ang stays friends with her. Ang reminds Renee that she’s the one who brought Natalie Guercio into the group. Ang doesn’t have issues or drama with friends. In fact, Renee is the only one of her friends who consistently decides to hate people. It’s exhausting. Renee babbles on about loyalty, but Ang wonders why they can’t just be ladies and not gangsters. Victoria sees Renee’s point (Renee is so excited to think that Ang’s plan has backfired). Ang brings up the fact that Renee has disrespected her family and also called her a clown. Victoria reminds the women that they are closer than friends…they are family. She should get her own therapy themed reality show. I’m kidding, VH1! Don’t even!

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 littlewomen

On last night’s episode of Little Women LA, Briana Mason helps her daughter with bullying issues at school, Tonya Banks takes her boyfriend to task after hearing some unsettling information from Briana, and Terra Jole finally announces her pregnancy to the group – not all of whom are happy about it.

We pick up where we left off, with Terra telling Joe she’s pregnant and Joe acting like a royal ass about the news. Joe finally admits it’s exciting and that he’s happy, though. Good job, Joe! They kiss and make up. Terra is relieved.

brandi glanville goes crazy on rhobh

What can be said about last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll say plenty – but did that actually happen? Did an Emmy-award winning actress really get a glass of backwashed wine thrown in her face by a desperate divorcee on a 10-year drunken meltdown? The answer to that question is unfortunately, yes. 

Other things happened leading up to the white wine wash – it started with the last glamorous, happy, successful woman Brandi Glanville insulted on every level – Lisa Vanderpump. Brandi looked nice at that lunch, as if she played Invasion of the Body Snatchers with Yolanda Foster.

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