Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta the ladies were supposed to remove their makeup to reveal the natural beauty underneath. Perhaps realizing they actually don’t have any of that quality stuff, everyone kept their false eyelashes firmly adhered and batted their eyes shadily.
Kim Fields is starting to getting into the groove of the group, although they still scare the bejesus out of her with their non-mom lives of Louboutins, Louis, and liquored-up shade. Kim decides to put everyone on the an equal playing field, or maybe get to know them better as people, by hosting something she dubs a “Beatless Brunch.” Everybody knows the ladies of Atlanta rarely beat around the bush!
Week Two! We’re back for another installment of As The Etiquette Turns with The Real Housewives of Potomac. Not wasting any time, we’re plunged right back into the argument between Karen Huger and Gizelle Bryantas they trade barbs at Charrisse Jackson-Jordan’slow rent crab boil. Since last seen, Gizelle is still checking her bangs in the mirrored frame of 5 Rules of Etiquette that Karen’s “gifted” her as a reminder of who sits where at birthday dinners. It’s all too much for Gizelle, who claims a legacy and pedigree over Karen’s farming skills.
Meanwhile, Charrisse is STILL UPSTAIRS at her own party dishing with a friend over how loud and “ghetto” Gizelle and her friend, Kal, were behaving downstairs earlier. Earlier, as in: When they were literally doing all of the cooking for Charrisse because she’s too cheap to hire a chef! Perhaps she’s just salty that they kept the cameras lingering too long in her kitchen. One dented fridge, 2 junk drawers later…a girl’s gotta find someone to blame it all on.
What are these women thinking? That’s the one question that played on a constant loop in my mind as I watched last night’s Mob Wives. A Hamptons vacation will never class up this group of gals. Carla Facciolo has planned a nice weekend for her friends (as we know Drita D’avanzo is absent), and she hopes that newbies Brittany Fogarty and Marissa Jade don’t show out at her friends’ garden party. If they dare to embarrass her in front of her shi-shi Hamptons crowd, Carla swears (and swears) that she’ll kill them herself. Both Marissa and Brittany claim to have called a truce while Prissy Missy (haha!) gripes to Renee Graziano and Brittany complains to Big Ang. In order to get everyone on the same page, Big Ang decides her crew needs to get up close and personal with Patron. Marissa, once again, admonishes the clique’s drinking habits, but she can’t say no and is falling all over herself. Thankfully, no asses are capped or hair is pulled.
I’m confused – I thought Kim Richards was fired from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Is she getting a royalty check every time someone says her name because she’s literally all anyone talks about. And Erika Jayne‘s face above, that’s how I feel when Kim gets brought up. I imagine Kyle Richards probably has an interesting enough life without discussing Kim.
First there is her questionable fashion taste, yet she is the owner of not one, but TWO luxury kaftan emporiums (Did Kyle really repurpose a lace table cloth into a mini dress last night? I applaud her dedication to sustainable fashion and support of Project Runway challenges in the real world sphere). There is her friendship with Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick, her drama with other sister, Kathy Hilton, the Machiavellian womb which produced Paris Hilton. Then there is Kyle’s ultimate frienemy-ship with Lisa Vanderpump because of which Kyle often is seen making an ‘I drank a fiber smoothie but forgot my Depends’ face.
Oh, and the woman has like 46 feet of hair, which does tricks: Hair flips! Helicopter spins! Plus she can do splits. And Kyle’s married to “Maurice,” who may or may not be sour that LVP stole his Bravo spinoff, which is only karma because he may or may not have stolen Rick Hilton‘s clients (according to Truth Cannons). What I’m alluding to here is that Kyle has a lot to work with which doesn’t involve Kim. Plus, she’s also doing a closet renovation, so there’s that.
Tonight’s Dance Moms was filled with mini meltdowns and mega drama. The ALDC mothers are concerned because Abby Lee Miller is introducing a new, younger team to replace their girls. She barely has time as it is to coach her competition team, and now these little ones are going to eat up even more of Abby’s time. Abby can’t be bothered with their fears…she needs to find her next Maddie, and the way the ALDC performed at last week’s competition has her convinced it’s the best decision. Her girls didn’t have one first place finish!
Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid for not being able to express emotions through her facial expressions. She’s tired of Kendall just being pretty…not to mention, Kendall placed third in her solo division. Nia and MacKenzie round out the bottom…they both have super successful videos and songs on iTunes, yet they can’t snag a win. Brynn takes the third spot from the top for being middle-of-the-road, and JoJo is excited to be second with Abby praising her stand-out performance in the group routine. Kalani takes her rightful spot at the top of the pyramid for rocking the group dance…and becoming a big sister. Kira and her baby brother are healthy and happy. Kendall is given the promised solo for having the highest individual score, and Jessalyn reminds Abby about Kendall’s make-up breakdown. JoJo gets the second solo, but she’s going to have to give up the bow for her dark hip-hop number. The girls cheer when they learn that the group routine will also be hip-hop, and Abby brings in their choreographers. She’ll be too busy working with her minis.
The drama begins on the airplane where James Kennedy tried to get Lala Kent to join the Mile High Club. It only gets marginally better from here but we should get the worst thing out of the way first. Lala did not join the Mile High Club. At least not with James on that airplane.
The group is all couples now, proof to Scheana Marie that they’re growing up. Something Scheana seems sad about as Shay lumbers around, perpetually in the shadow of her massive, fluttering ego. Not the pretty picture to adorn her Hoarders for Narcissists hovel!
Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, several of the ladies, led by Phaedra Parks, traveled to Washington DC to celebrate the anniversary of the Million Man March, while other ladies remained in Atlanta receiving million dollar guests.
Ayden helps Phaedra pack for the trip, which will involve meeting with several congress members, including Florida representative Frederica Wilson, whose organization inspired Phaedra’s newfound passion, Saving Our Sons.
The ladies of Potomac, MD are here, and they’re taking no prisoners! Straight out of the gate, the cast of the Real Housewives of Potomac are showing us why they’re a force to be reckoned with. So, let’s meet the latest group of women to catch Bravo’s roving eye. After we’re taken on a whirlwind tour of golf greens and tennis courts, stately houses and thick woods, the first place we finally land in is Gizelle Bryant’s kitchen, where she’s baking with her three adorable girls.
Gizelle says Potomac is an exclusive community where “only legacy or a large cash flow can get you in.” Gizelle’s father was one of the first African Americans to be in the Texas House of Legislature, working alongside Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Andrew Young. Originally from Potomac, Gizelle moved to Baltimore (Potomac mourned…allegedly), then came back after her divorce (Potomac cheered…allegedly). Gizelle was married to Jamal Bryant, a well-known pastor-slash-cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater. He liked to play the occasional game of “hide the salami” when not pontificating from the pulpit, according to Gizelle. Despite her etiquette-centered upbringing, Gizelle is not interested in living by the rules according to Potomac Society anymore. She’s strictly into The Rules By Gizelle these days.