Recaps

watson-aubree

On Teem Mom 2, big things are happening for all the moms from Jenelle Evans planning her wedding to Kailyn Lowry graduating from college. Leah Messer is pressing forward with her plans to become a motivational speaker, Briana DeJesus brings new baby Stella home and Chelsea DeBoer is close to making plans for her own wedding reception.

Before Chelsea gets into planning, she is busy focusing on the kids and getting baby Watson to his four month shot appointment. He’s getting so big! Husband Cole DeBoer has to work but he will do his best to join them at the doctor’s office, which Chelsea is hoping for. Shots are much harder on mom and the extra emotional support is never a bad thing. Aubree is coming along and on their way over, Chelsea calls Cole, who says he will meet them there. Aubree sweetly says she knew he would make it. After the emerge from the appointment, Chelsea says Watson didn’t enjoy at all and screamed as soon as he got his first shot but once he’s in the car and headed home, Watson is right back to his smiling, giggling self.

Real Housewives Of Orange County Balls Voyage

Here’s a mystery for you: why, in the middle of all the Real Housewives Of Orange County‘s scenes about scheming and ball removal was there a lovely bucolic montage of the ladies celebrating Easter? Is it because, as Tamra Judge, waxed insanely, they’re all “sisters in Christ.” Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sister.

Anyway, Lydia McLaughlin owns a boat and therefore she will throw a party for her husband’s balls on said boat. Cause “balls voyage” – get it?! Where in sam hell did little miss prissy bible arise at that one?

Before getting on the official party boat, Lydia and Doug, all decked out in their finery, take a cruise around the harbor with a hot skipper. Unlike Gilligan’s Island no one got lost on a three-hour tour, but if they had, they could’ve build a life raft out of Tamra’s earrings and used Meghan Edmonds‘ earrings to phone home!

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After the Shahs of Sunset have spent so much time talking about the new and improved Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, does anyone miss the old GG? You know, the one filled with knife-loving, hair-triggered rage and drama? If that’s the GG you have come to know and love, the good news is that she’s back this episode! The bad news is that all her crazy is overshadowed by all the crazy that her new boyfriend, Shalom Yeroushalmi, has to offer. Sounds like a match made in heaven!

Before we get to that train wreck of a relationship, we still have to sort through another in the form of Mercedes “MJ” Javid and fiancé Tommy Feight. Last week ended with their epic fight about whether or not to knock her up, with Tommy simply asking for some more time for them to get healthy and grow up a little. Of course one would like to think that an engaged couple in their forties that’s been talking about having a baby for over a year would already have figured that all out but this is Shahs, people – don’t go expecting much.

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Last night on Flipping Out, Jeff Lewis explains why hiring seven nannies does not make him insane, then flies down to Orlando to tour the palace of an actual insane person, Jackie Siegel. The Queen of Versailles hopes Jeff will design her 90,000 square foot monstrosity home that she and her hubby have been attempting to build for over a decade, but Jeff’s not so sure. Neither is David Siegel, who is not a big fan of Jeff’s humor – nor of his barrage of insults about the Siegal’s disgusting taste. (I’d like to pause here to personally invite Jeff to my home to insult literally everything I own. Because it would be 100% worth it to get a Jeff Lewis design out of the deal. By all means, insult away!!!)

But David Siegel’s ego is no small hurdle to overcome, and Jeff knows this. He and Gage Edward do not know a whole lot about babies, though, as has become starkly apparent these past weeks. At least baby Monroe has lived through the move to New Hollywood, so there’s that. She has not had a decent nanny stay for more than a hot minute, however. And Jeff has all kindsa excuses about why. Or maybe just one…

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Confident

So is that an Idol in your pocket, or are you just happy that Survivor is back? Not only did the show kick off its 35th season Wednesday night, but the premiere episode also gave us an impromptu strip search! Woohoo! Add that to the more than one reference about getting into people’s pants, and you’d have to agree that this season got crazy real quick. It looks to be that kind of cast, apparently.

But not everything was loose and care-free tonight, as the first three days in the game have already produced a few confrontations, a “Super Idol” and a head-scratcher of a Tribal Council. If you’re just starting to follow this column, I welcome you and hope you join us all season! Please remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Premiere Episode of Survivor: HHH, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together. I’m stoked to be back, so let’s get to it!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

Below Deck Recap - Jen Howell

Ugh – what can even be said about last night’s Below Deck, except Disco makes more sense? I mean, Kate Chastain is in a cult and gone mad, Chris Brown is absolutely bafflingly sucky, and everyone wants Brianna Adekeye to suck their summin-summin.

With one charter out the door, the crew is in da club and Jen Howell is in the cups. Actually, she’s in the jungle juice and drowning in it. Jen’s messiness is also messing up Kate’s ‘date’ with sexy Aqua Jesus, who truth be told is just OOOOKaaay looking, but Kate has some weird taste in significant others, to say the least! With someone else assuming responsibility for Jen – for once! – Kate and J2.0 depart for his heavenly waters. “What would Jesus do?” Kate says, “Me.” Indeed. 

Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky Season Finale

If you’re still watching Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky, the train wreck of a spin off that gave us six episodes to tide us over until Vanderpump Rules starts again, then you probably saw the escalation of Jax Taylor’s bad behavior from a mile away. This week, Jax takes that bad behavior to a whole new level of douchy-ness, resulting in him blatantly disrespecting girlfriend Brittany Cartwright, her family, AND her friends. No one is safe when Jax has had a few tequila shots and feeling homesick for L.A.

We start the episode with Jax actually claiming to be enjoying his farm chores as he gets up early with Mamaw to feed the chickens and the cows. Mamaw is so impressed that this “city boy” is enjoying throwing some chicken feed into a pen and heaps a chicken’s turd worth of praise on him about what a man this makes him. I guess Mamaw is hurting for company since her standards are so low but either way, Jax seems to do no wrong in her eyes.

Real Housewives of Dallas Recap

The divide gets a little bit bigger this week on The Real Housewives of Dallas. There’s some crazy talk, but also a moment that looked to be out of Mean Girls: The Adult Years. One house husband won’t miss an opportunity to be on camera, and everyone can’t stop talking about LeeAnne Locken’s plastic surgeon doctor OBYGN cosmetic surgeon. Here we go –

Cary Deuber is alarmed because she’s only having sex with Mark once a day. They’re remodeling the practice and it’s all being put on Cary’s shoulders. She asks if it is okay if she runs to yoga and Mark suggests she keeps working. She wants to pick up her daughter after yoga and he ultimately allows her to “bail” on him again but not without making comments – so many comments. Cary is tired of battling Mark when it comes to giving attention to her daughter. This man needs to be brought down a peg or two, or three or four.