Recaps

Vote Early, Vote Often

“I have no idea what just happened, and it’s a feeling I’m starting to get used to.” These words are how host Jeff Probst capped off tonight’s newest episode of Survivor, and they’re words that mirror how many fans feel thus far during what has been one heck of a season…a season that just continues to try to top itself each week. We expected a season called “Game Changers” to present the players with twists and turns, but I don’t think anybody watching the show at home expected to be thrown for just as many loop de loops. Tonight, once again, was a breath-taking piece of entertainment, ending in a Tribal that had me on the edge of my seat, up and cheering, and finally slumping back, asking myself, “What the heck just happened?”

Is there any better feeling to achieve when watching Survivor? Please be warned that there are spoilers to follow, as we will be discussing in detail the events that took place during Episode 5 of Survivor: Game Changers.

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Little Women: LA recap

Are you guys still with me for the second part of Little Women: LA? Like the episode itself, let’s jump right into the action with Terra Jole and Elena Gant enjoying a play date with their kids. Oh my gosh, how cute are these kids?

Cute kids aside, the talk turns Elena’s recent meeting with Briana Renee’s friend, Lisa, who told her that Matt Ericson has been inappropriately texting when they have marital disagreements. Terra has her own bone to pick with Briana and is still mad that she went behind her back to try and get represented by her manager. I wish we didn’t have to spend a whole episode getting to the bottom of this but I am getting the sneaky suspicion that Terra isn’t going to let this go anytime soon (talking about it the last three episodes should have tipped me off).

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Little Women: LA recap

Last week, Little Women: LA fans were left hanging with a “to be continued” when it came to the star crossed marriage of Briana Renee and Barf (I mean, Matt) Ericson. Briana is empty threatening divorce because they got into a fight about where she set their kid’s cup down and well, let’s just say it’s never really about the sippy cup, amirite fellow mommies? Out poured all of Briana’s animosity and betrayal over being lied to over and over again by a cheating, manipulating, brainwashing, sexual deviant (did I leave anything out?) husband.

We pick up where we left off from last week, with Matt trying to manipulate Briana into thinking this is all her fault because she doesn’t make herself vulnerable to him. Briana waffles back and forth about not wanting a divorce but she also doesn’t want to be unhappy. This leaves the door a smidge open so Matt can slide his slimy foot back in and claim he just wants to be the best he can be (provided Briana just gives him the chance!). Briana decides she is going to stick it out so she doesn’t have two kids who came from divorce, which sounds like a great reason to stay with a cheating, jobless husband who has both ears pierced.

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale

Last night’s season finale of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills was brought to you by the words “wow” (somebody stole Maruicio’s G*d-D*mned word!) and “inherently.” And everyone was mad at Dorit Kemsley or Lisa Rinna. Or PK – which duh.

The point of Lisa Vanderpump‘s party was less about rose and more about settling squabbles and investigating motivations. Is Erika Girardi “cold” or was she merely hurt by Dorit? Is Lipsa trying to hide something that caused her to lash out at Dorit? Did a golden goose poop on Dorit’s head or was there a golden feather in her cap?

The “Amnesia Season” came to an end with the women bickering dressed like Barbies. It was amusingly perfect because basically every argument was made of plastic and came from Hong Kong. Eden Sassoon wore a freaking bridal gown from the Disney Princess Collection, stayed up way past her bedtime, ate too many sweets, and then threw a tantrum!

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Sober James Kennedy

It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…

First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong.  Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.

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Southern Charm Cameran

Yes, yes, yes! It’s been a long time coming, but last night was the first installment of the fourth season of Southern Charm. Was it as good for y’all as it was for me? Can we please talk about the opening scene? Thomas Ravenel drops by Landon Clements’ house with a flower for his flower, but she giggles that for the record, orchids are her favorite. As they sit by Colonial Lake, he implores her to give their relationship a shot. In true Southern Charm fashion, the premiere then flashes back to three months prior. Cameran Eubanks is on her way to see Craig Conover who has been dodging her phone calls after revealing he never finished law school. Shep Rose rings her while on a frantic search for his credit card. He’s trying to hit up all the bars he went to over the weekend, although he can’t quite remember where he was drinking. Upon arriving to Craig and Naomie’s house, Cameran learns that Craig has become the preppy Bob Villa in order to fill his time while Naomie pursues her MBA in finance.

T-Rav is adjusting to life as a full time father now that he has his children full time. Kensie and Saint are living in the guest house (with the nanny, I assume) because, as Thomas opines, kids are messy. He’d rather have them puke on a $200 guest house rug than a $30,000 main house rug. He reveals that Kathryn Dennis hasn’t seen the kids in a couple of months and won’t until she’s able to pass a drug test. Despite the fact his kids don’t live in the same structure as him, Thomas is hands on dad and it’s truly precious to see him playing with Kensie and Saint.

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gizelle-bryant-premiere

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been impatiently waiting for the second season of the Real Housewives of Potomac. Maybe you missed hearing about how amazingly rich (yet unknown!) Potomac is. Or maybe you need constant reminding of outdated etiquette from a group of women who can’t even agree on who should sit where for a birthday dinner. Whatever your reason, they are back and I’m thrilled Bravo decided to renew another season of the franchise. Not so thrilling is the fact that Katie Rost isn’t rejoining the crew this season. When she wasn’t badgering her boyfriend into getting fake engaged, she kept it real and held her own. But alas, she is gone too soon and in her place is the saucy Monique Samuels, who is sure to ruffle the insecure feathers of HBIC, Gizelle Bryant. Also disappointing? These girls didn’t even get updated dresses and new film for their taglines. Really, Bravo?

Now that I got that off my chest, we join Gizelle at the salon, getting a fresh wig and filling us in on what those green eyes have been up to. She’s still dating and has recycled someone from the past who doesn’t quite measure up in height, but as long as he’s not short everywhere (wink wink), Gizelle is willing to grace him with her presence. While dating is commonplace for Gizelle, it’s the crux of her beef with cast mate Charrisse Jackson-Jordan, who at last year’s reunion, alluded to Gizelle being a whore for all the dating she’s done. Gizelle doesn’t take kindly to be called out of her name and decided to go on Watch What Happens Live and put Charrisse’s business out there. And I mean WAY out there, by saying that Charrisse was dating a very cute and muscular fireman in the wake of her separation from her elusive husband, Eddie. Under normal circumstances, who cares if Charrisse is getting her groove back with a hunky firefighter? But these aren’t normal circumstances and this rumor could seriously hurt Charrisse’s impending divorce settlement if it’s found to be true. Given that Gizelle went through a nasty divorce herself, she should understand this but we all know Gizelle has a mean streak. Bottom line: don’t start with Gizelle because she will finish it.

Phaedra

Let’s be honest – the only thing any of us remember from last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta is that Apollo Nida‘s prison fiancé Sherien Almufti appeared at the opening of the OLG Restaurant – and she’s everything a villainess side-chick should be. The worst (or maybe best) is that Phaedra Parks conveniently wasn’t even there to see her!

But first all the drama that came before. Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker – two control-freaks don’t make a restaurant! The OLG Restaurant is weeks away from officially opening and $100,000 over-budget, but Todd will not accept any help. He is the little man that could … and with his big forehead he thinks he can sneak traffic cone orange chairs right under Kandi’s nose. She is not impressed by his Todd: Party Of One attitude.

Case in point, Todd refuses to allow Don Juan or Carmon to help make decisions, even though there are no uniforms and the logo hasn’t been finalized with less than 24 hours before their soft opening for friends, family and television cameras. And don’t even get Kandi started on how the floor is so dusty it looks like it belongs inside Chateau Sheree!

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