Recaps

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: A Retreat To Remember

We knew it would happen. Siggy Flicker threatened to test out her “empowerment and healing” techniques on innocent victims friends and family before she unleashed it on the paying public – and she did just that to The Real Housewives Of New Jersey this week. It was, as expected, a splendid sh*t show. And maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I’ll openly admit I loved every messy minute of it!

I still can’t help thinking this season’s cast has stepped it up a notch. Maybe it’s been Siggy losing her effing mind (which, though bizarre and troubling, has been strangely entertaining!), or perhaps it’s the reintroduction of wild card Danielle Staub, who Dolores Catania sees as a snake in the grass. In any case, we’re lucky that cameras finally stepped back from the heaviness of Teresa Giuidice’s family drama this week, instead entrapping gathering the women together for a forced getaway – always a solid gold Housewives move. Even though the trip is to Siggy’s retreat, at least Margaret Josephs is there to provide comic relief! Plus, Melissa Gorga brought three Hail Mary’s in her pocket just in case Satan caused confusion.

Survivor: HHH Episode 8 Recap: Russian Roulette

Wow, lots to digest this week! I have been continuing to tell people to stick with this season, and I have to say that this week’s installment of Survivor was an all-around solid episode? Am I right? It had an interesting Reward that led to some pandemonium back at camp, there was a lot of strategizing going on, a secret advantage was found and played, a player that HAD to win the Immunity Challenge to survive did just that and a Tribal Council ended with a re-vote and then a surprising vote. What more can  you ask for as a Survivor fan?

We’ll dig right into tonight’s episode (in a nice and calm way, not in a Chrissy/Cole sort of way…). But first, please remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 8 of Survivor: HHH, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

A charter guest complains about Matt's cooking

On last night’s Below Deck, we lost one crew member and gained another. Well, I use the word “gain” loosely, Jen Howell and Kate Chastain needed an HR rep to review sexual harassment policies. Support each other, ladies – no slutshaming aboard the 5-star Valor! And Nico Scholly made a miraculous recovery.

Poor Nico is in his bunk, all by himself, flexing his hand while tapping on his iPhone just waiting for Brianna Adekeye to check his temperature. Instead Jen and Bri are in hula gear at 1am, faced with a mountain of dishes that gives Jen delirium and psychosis. She’s talking more gibberish than usual, and she’s pretty sure that butter knife turned into a talking seahorse. What was IN that dinner Matt Burns made? It sure wasn’t happy juice!

Teen Mom 2 Season 8 Finale Special – Part 1: Control Freaks

It’s reunion time for the cast of Teen Mom 2 and part one is going to ease us into everything without too much craziness. Well, unless you count Jenelle Evans and new husband, David Eason, who just can’t help themselves. But before we go there, the whole cast is on the couch, with a giant macramé pacifier sitting behind them, just in case you didn’t catch that the show has “mom” in the title. All the ladies look fresh and lovely, but Jenelle already has a sourpuss face, magnified by her hair darkened and pulled back in a severe ponytail. I guess I can’t blame Jenelle; it’s going to be a long day for her. Dr. Drew plugs the finale of Teen Mum, which is the UK version of Teen Mom and if you’re not watching, you definitely should. Those Brits have nonstop baby daddy drama and I couldn’t help but get sucked into the whole season. But I digress….

RHOC Season 12 Finale

Was last night not one of the most boring Real Housewives Of Orange County finales ever?! At least Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge completely gave up the pretense of trying to fix their friendship – which was refreshing. Other than that the only drama was some weird mythical uproar Shannon Beador suddenly developed for Peggy Sulahian who is literally a walking coma. Diko has definitely done all the heavy-lifting in the drama department with those two.

I get that Shannon and Peggy don’t like each other, but this drama erupted over some old news and seemed like drama for drama’s sake. Sort of like Shannon herself!

This all predicated around a candle party. Yes, a candle party. A candle party to celebrate all the haaaaard difficult work we never saw Meghan Edmonds actually DO to launch her signature collection.

Kenya Wedding Veil

Where was NeNe Leakes on last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta? Doesn’t really matter because it turns out the real drama is how the show is driving Kenya Moores 10 second marriage to ruin. The Bravo curse strikes again? Immediately.

Meanwhile, Cynthia Bailey is stranded at the lake all by herself with no one but the leaves to talk to. If it sounds like the start of a bad – very bad – horror movie where a desperate, lonely woman turns to the wrong kind of guy, you’re right! After a relaxing bath, Cynthia finds herself on a date where she is blindfolded and wandering the dark and creepy hallways of a chicken farm while getting her photo taken by Malcolm X’s long-lost twin, Evan.

90 Day Fiance Recap: Family First

O’ Delusion, thy name is 90 Day Fiance! This week, we travel deeper into the rabbit hole of each couples’ fantasy that their Happily Ever After awaits. Except for the fact that Thailand-David is too drunk and broke to keep his bride, Annie, interested long enough to force her on a U.S.-bound plane. Luis is sick of being Molly’s houseboy, and he’s apparently sick of pretending that he is normal. Because he could potentially be the most inappropriate cast member to EVER grace this show (and that’s saying a lot, considering who’s been foisted on us over the years).

Andrei’s visa interview gives Elizabeth the smeary-red-lipstick-sweats. Josh thinks his mail order bride Aika can actually be a model (please refer to alums Paola and Russ for actual video evidence of where this dark journey leads). Nicole and Azan fight over the $3 and half box of doughnuts they have to their names, as well as why veggies are good for you. And Evelyn and David – well, they just continue to suck on every conceivable level, don’t they? We were blessed with another two-hour episode, so my apologies ahead of time for these freaking War And Peace length recaps! (Though they probably have just as much dramatic content. Because, as we all know, this show is pure 14-karat GOLD – and not the Thai-David-layaway kind.)

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Growing Up Jersey

Last night on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Giacinto Gorga broke my heart yet again when he and Teresa Giudice shared more tears over the loss of her mother, Antonia. While Teresa took her family to Puerto Rico, Joe and Melissa Gorga stayed home with theirs to attempt disciplining their emerging tween. Hormones weren’t just affecting the young, as we saw when Siggy Flicker dragged cameras to her doctor appointment to discuss the finer points of hormone replacement therapy. And Dolores Catania faced off with Margaret Josephs, proving her undying delusional loyalty to Siggy by justifying her wack-job behavior at the Gorga’s tasting party!

As Teresa packs for Puerto Rico, she tells Milania that they’ll email Joe Giudice in prison while they’re gone. Without Joe, Tre is glad she has her father to lean on. “He is my rock right now,” she admits. Meanwhile, Dolores is joining Siggy at the doctor’s office to discuss hormone treatments. In her butt. Siggy doesn’t want to be known as “Soggy” anymore, and is hoping getting her hormones balanced out will help shed her new, obnoxious image. Well, that and not sticking your tongue out at other middle-aged women, maybe? But hey – it’s a start.