Is anyone else worried that someone is really going to get injured (injured bad!) on this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? These broads love to fight! Wait, how am I just now noticing that this is the first L&HH franchise that has boys men featured in the credits? I must overuse the fast forward button! Anyhoo, the show resumes with Teairra Mari and Hazel fighting over stolen thunder and non-existent relationships, when Ray-J arrives to dump on the party. Literally. He tosses a box full of Teairra’s things on the floor of the tattoo salon, telling her that he hated her blatant disrespect at his launch party. Ray-J has returned her Monistat and various other lady parts over the counter medications. At this point, Teairra tries to charge him, and he promises producers that he won’t hit a woman. Even though Hazel is still upset with her friend, she goes to bat against Ray-J. Her sometimes/former/friend/roommate deserves better treatment from this “has been.” Her words, not mine.
Nia is still upset with Soulja Boy for lying to her about another woman. He is just ready to move past the silliness. She looks like a young twenty-something lying in bed with a very tatted twelve-year-old. It’s creepy how young he looks. But hey, when he’s forty, he’ll finally look of age! Soulja placates Nia by promising to step up to the plate and change his flirtatious ways. He’ll even change his number if she’ll just stop nagging him! Meanwhile, Apryl is concerned about Omarion’s upcoming tour. She certainly doesn’t want to be left alone with his hateful mother. Omarion hates being caught in the middle of the two ladies in his life.
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Last night Hurricane Jim hit the shores of Florida (well Boca anyway) and he destroyed all Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars in his wake. Teresa Giudice must have had advance notice that dirty secrets were going to be strewn far and wide which is why she stayed home to color pitchurs, mispronounce her own last name, and respond to texes.
Things started out innocently enough. The Florida division of the RHONJ ladies went swampin’ in their most appropriate of appropriate boat shoes: high heels. Those twins – they sure know how to work a look. #sarcasm On the gator farm, Dina Manzo meets her future pet soulmate: a tailless baby alligator whom she smuggles into her purse and clutches for zen-renity (zen serenity) throughout the night’s escapades.
It is well known that Dina is psychic she feels something is about to rock this boat. And Dina has a little inkling its last name is “Marchese” and it has to do with this little secret she was tasked with guarding and protecting. As the group was about to find out, the gators were the least dangerous thing they were to encounter in Florida.
Shopping sprees abound on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne!!! Janet Roachand Chyka Keebaugh head out to pick up a few cocktail dresses and cha-ching! Their personal stylists have it the jackpot. As they add dress after dress, each one about $2K each, I’m getting majorly jealous – I don’t even wear anything that needs to be dry cleaned these days, let alone a magenta pink Swarovski dress. Meanwhile, Gina Liano meets up with Melbourne’s version of Patti Stanger and is looking for a new man in her life. Gina does meet the criteria of a millionairess so we’ll see how that goes later on.
Ugh, I’m starting loathe the Lydia scenes. We’re now in Lydia Schiavello’s kitchen as she is strangely oohing and ahhing over her maid, Joanna’s peeling technique of vegetables. Lydia actually has the audacity to say that since she’s had hired help for the past 20 years, she’s forgot how to clean. Say what??!! Just stop Lydia. Lydia found Joanna on the street in front of her house a few years ago and now they are best buds. Joanna also picks out Lydia clothes because Lydia has no idea where anything is. Huh? I don’t think Joanna is her best friend in the sense you and I have best friends. I think Joanna is her best hired helper. That seems more up Lydia’s alley.
After some internet/cable snafus with my new house, the Real Housewives Of Melbourne recaps have returned! So I’m catching up from the last couple of weeks. Bear with me people.
Lydia Schiavello is paying a visit with her old girlfriend, Lisa. Lydia spilled the beans about the crazo beach weekend with the ladies. Lisa has been depraving herself of carbs since in utero and now is busy running her company while her husband retires. Lydia absolutely cannot imagine going to work full-time while her husband, Andrew stays home. The thought of it!! While Lisa discusses with Lydia about her intensely stressful week (raising capital, running the company, etc.), Lydia chimes in with, “Well, as long so you stay sexy for your husband”. Huh? Wha??? Lisa is all, “It was so nice to see you and I just don’t have any friends like you!” (Backhanded compliment). Lydia is an idiot.
On last night’s episode of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, viewers had the pleasure of hearing James Harris try to ‘rap’ not once, but twice! The man has serious street cred. Not really. But what he does have is an amazing property above the Sunset Strip in Hollywood that he and his partner, David Parnes, are hoping will appeal to young entertainers in the industry. So the boys grab their iPad and run over to a recording studio where they are introduced to none other than the ‘Rack City’ rapper, Tyga. He lives an hour outside of L.A. and needs a crib closer to the studio where he can crash and party. The Brits show Tyga photos of the house and schedule a showing for the next day.
Josh Flagg is off to meet with his client, Jas, an architect/developer, who he met through his grandmother, Edith. Jas had done business with him via her building. He has a 1929 Spanish style home in the City of Beverly Hills that he wants to unload. It is in the lower priced area of Beverly Hills, which is perfect for someone who wants to buy into the lifestyle. But there is a catch. It is a tear-down that cannot be torn down due to the city’s preservation ordinance, meant for architectural treasures. Although this 2426 sq. ft. home has a few interesting details, this home is nowhere near such a treasure and is worth less than land. The interior can be gutted, but the existing exterior must remain intact. The frustration in that must have gotten to Jas the architect. He will no longer be renovating and moving in with his family. Josh advises him to list the property for $2m. A fair asking price.
Has this season of Dance Moms been going on long enough that we’re already at ALDC showcase? Abby Lee Miller is still torturing her dancers as to who will compete in Nationals. Who cares about Nationals…did y’all see Maddie do her Chandelier dance on last night’s Dancing with the Stars? She is crazy talented, but that dance has always given me the shivers. However, it’s safe to say that her duet partner is going to give me full on night terrors. How creepy was that? Sorry, I digress.
Abby is stressed and exciting about her upcoming dance concert. Kamryn has returned and Christi is upset as Chloe has already beaten her before. In the pyramid, Chloe is on the bottom because of her injury. MacKenzie follows for not being in sync in the group number. Kendall is in third for getting second to Nia. Maddie is second on the pyramid. Abby reminds her that if a bigger opportunity for her that conflicts with Nationals, she’ll have to take it instead of joining her team. Deservedly, Nia is in the top spot for her first time ever as the highest scoring soloist at the competition. A teary Abby announces that the group number will be a tribute to her mother. Additionally, each girl will be showcasing a forty-five second solo that will be her audition from Nationals. Abby will not rehearse nor watch the routines before the concert. The girls are on their own to choreograph what they believe is their best vignette.
To kick things off, the ladies decide to take Krav Maga class. Tameka says that she uses the class to keep in shape. The instructor is showing the women techniques to defend against someone holding their neck, and Christina Johnson has a moment. She says, “I can’t do this,” and walks away. Monyetta Shaw goes to comfort her and Christina confesses that she was in an abusive relationship when she was younger, and that she can’t have anyone touch her neck. Monyetta comforts her and tells Christina to be glad to be there to talk about it.