This one doesn't specificlly say reality TV, but we are assured it's a couple who do have a reality show. I think this one is easy. Can't wait for the reveal! Take a look and give us your best guess!
"This award-winning performer’s husband has been cheating on her since the beginning of their marriage. In fact, he is cheating on her right now with another female celebrity. The identity of the mistress would probably surprise you.
Wife knows all about the affair, but is reluctant to file for divorce. That’s because this marriage keeps her in the spotlight… which is the thing she craves more than honesty or fidelity!
So she will do anything to give the appearance that things are fine, including arranging for daily affectionate “spontanteous” photo ops with the Husband to try to convince you that all is well. She calls her publicist first thing every morning to provide an itinerary of where she will be for the day. Her publicist then calls the paparazzi to ensure that they are there to “secretly” capture how devoted they are to each other and their family. Yes, it’s all done for the cameras."
TELL US – WHO DO YOU THINK THE CHEATER IS? AND WHO IS HE CHEATING WITH?
To kick things off, Mackenzie buys a pair of chaps for Gannon. Ha! Why not? Dressing the baby like an adult cowboy makes perfect sense when Mackenzie doesn't have a job, Josh doesn't have a job, and Gannon, despite winning the family IQ race, is too young to have a job.
An excited Mackenzie calls Josh to gush about her superfluous purchase. He accepts the call – listens – but rushes off the phone without ever expressing a single emotion. Phone calls are hard, y'all. Mackenzie's friend points out that Josh is barely alive, adding, "He needs to get a pulse in touch with his feelings." Mackenzie says she totally heard excitement in Josh's voice.
Stassi Schroeder is up to her same antics of systematically destroying everyone around her. ThankfullyVanderpump Rules favorite sociopath hasn't changed. Where are the proper authorities?
Last night Stassi cemented that Scheana Marie, briefly her friend, was once again her enemy. Stassi believes that Scheana is on an unrelenting quest to become her, to like BE Stassi. Which would mean Scheana also wants to be WITH Jax Taylor.
Speaking of Jax, I'd like to take an informal poll on how high we think his IQ is: 3? 8? Maybe 15 on a generous day? Despite being humiliated and constantly berated by Stassi he desperately wants her back. So desperately that he got a secret tattoo to prove his love. She maintains he isn't doing anything to earn her trust back except give her truly exceptional sex with lots of acrobatics and WWF maneuvers. #gag
Over at SUR things are still topsy-turvy. Strangely it's not decimating business so Lisa Vanderpump decides to install a new bar in the garden. With construction underway she now needs to find the perfect sexy bartender. Not Jax! Oh no – his crazy is old news slimy like fruit a couple days past the expiration date. Someone different… someone outside the incestuous cess pool. Someone like Katie Maloney's boyfriend Tom. Enter Tom 2.
There were rumors that this was going to be the first big event to be filmed for the new season, but we have confirmation that the event was not filmed for season 6 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Tom Murro shared with us that his insider at the party said "there wasn't any drama or anything really noteworthy other than the fact that they all held hands and meditated at one point in the evening. Dina held Teresa's hand and they were acting like BFFs. Dina did smell like an English garden and had a trail of fairy dust behind her as she did the downward dog and everyone sang hallelujah just before they meditated… At least that's how I imagined it."
As Andy Cohen exclaimed in an excited frenzy last night, "I love evidence!" So, too, do we. Which means the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami came packing with the accusations, the evidence, the wild slanderous statements, and one of the dirtiest reunion shows I've seen since Thou Show That Should Not Be Named But Has An Indicted Star And Lots Of Family Feuding. Don't want to wake the dead with that mention!
Anyway, back to the show of present. RHOM was vicious last night. Just the way we like it – crazy makeup, crazy hair, crazy girls, and tons of sequins flying out of their seats and and trying to deflect the even wilder accusations.
Everything starts out kinda OK, but then Joanna Krupa sort of slams Adriana de Moura's wedding and mentions several times that it was beautiful except for the lateness, inconvenience, lies, total disrespect for the guests, idiotic costume change, bitchy atrocious bride, and the whole no food or drink for hours thing. But the gown was gorgeous! You know all that stuff, but at least Adriana didn't look like a flamenco dancer and at least Adriana's husband wants to sleep with her so ziiing!
There is crazy and then there is Real Housewives of Atlanta'sKenya Moore. She may be Gone with the Wind fabulous, but I think that wind may have also blown away some of her sanity with it! However, it only makes her all the more entertaining when addressing last week's episode in regards to NeNe Leakes and Porsha Stewart.
She begins her Bravo blogin a way that only Krayoncecould, and it's amazing–her delusions, her life, and her take on last week's premiere, apparently! Kenya starts, "Did you miss me? That’s a rhetorical question of course. Of course you did! LOL! Have you missed my twirls, my curls, and my Gone with the Wind fabulousness? I’ve had the time of my life over the past year. My life has changed in such a positive way, it’s been a dream. My love life has drastically changed and I am so close to having everything in life I’ve always wanted."
Last night things were starting to settle in on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Everything that is except Carlton Gebbia who really cannot f–king deal with anyone and is over everything. Oh and Brandi Glanville's face – that's not settling either. She better watch it or she'll be turning into her arch-nemesis Adrienne Maloof!
Unfortunately the show began on a sour note. Poor Yolanda Foster is bravely taking us through her health journey battling Lyme Disease, which sounds horrible. I am seriously never going into the woods again. No, No, No!
Lemanda is undergoing surgery to remove a tube that sends antibiotics straight to her bloodstream and to celebrate she's doing a master cleanse instead of having a drink. I will never understand – pass me the alcohol! Gawd, do I sound like Brandi. #EpicFail. Even Yolanda's housekeeper is master cleansing and dividing all the lemonstrocity juice into a million Fuji bottles. Lemon does know how bad that is for the environment, right?