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Kailyn Lowry

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 forged ahead – some in a positive direction, some in a delusional direction, and some were just Jenelle Evans who will go in any direction that seems the stupidest at any given time. 

Leah Calvert is still reeling from Ali's diagnosis. The girls are at Corey's for the weekend and she is home alone with Adalynn while Jeremy is working in PA for a month. Three little kids. Alone. A month. I would develop a drinking problem. And yes, I have two little kids. 

Leah's mom comes over to check in and they discuss Ali's future. Leah is positive they'll have to move because their house has too many stairs to accommodate Ali's wheelchair. Leah's mom's heart is broken over the situation. I love this family. I love them so much I forget Leah has a purple muppet wig on her head dangling into her frosted silver eyes. Later Leah tells Jeremy she's found a farm, but it's in a different county, 40 minutes away, but Ali will benefit from equine and water therapy so they want to have a space where she can have a pony. 

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Last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 temporarily humanized our snarkiness as Leah Calvert learned the realities of Ali's muscular dystrophy. 

Kail Lowry heads to an ultrasound appointment sans Javi Marroquin because Jo Rivera won't let her move out of state with Isaac and now she's all allllloneee! Apparently she's been emotionally eating to drown her sorrows because the doctor warns her that gaining a pound and a half per week isn't a good idea. "Lay off the fettuccine alfredo," he instructs. 

Everything looks healthy but Kail is waiting until Javi can be there to find out the sex. Kail calls Javi from the car and complains that she's soooo stressed planning a wedding while pregnant. Maybe postpone the wedding until after you've had the baby then? Just a thought – especially since they're already legally married for the benefits and stuff. 

Then Kail and Jo have a major custody blowup. Kail is now refusing to bring Isaac to Jo's parents' if he's not home. On their custody exchange day, Kail learns from Jo that he's running late so she calls Javi - in front of Isaac – to whine about what a terrible, negligent parent Jo is. Nice Kail.

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 continued to mope through the agonies of motherhood – well except for Jenelle Evans who promptly stored 'have a child' in the largely non-functioning corner of her brain (right beside 'multiple arrests, including a felony') and went on as if she had not a care in the world. 

Kail Lowry is feuding with Jo over their custody agreement with Isaac. Kail just doesn't see the logic in anyone disagreeing with her, but is meeting in court before a judge. Javi warns her to keep her temper in check. Kail, who spent the day therapeutically painting pottery coasters for the house she hates but is forced to live in because of Jo's selfishness, promises Javi she'll be calm on the stand. 

The two meet in court where Kail is hoping her fabulously constructed donut bun will sway the judge in her favor (her dress is cute, so props for that!), but unfortunately due to a jurisdiction error the case was transferred and now will take a couple more months.

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Kail Lowry is taking a lot of heat for trying to take her son Isaac away from his father Jo Rivera

The Teen Mom 2 star, who is now married to Javi Marroquin and has another son Lincoln, wants to move two hours away to Delaware where Javi is stationed. Jo is contesting this claiming he will be too far away from Isaac

"It's super annoying that everyone thinks I'm taking Isaac away from his father. If you know me, you know I would NEVER do that. My mom did that to me," Kail complained on twitter. I'm imagining her making a pouty face as she writes this. 

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Last night was the premiere of Teen Mom 2. In case you have been living in a bomb shelter where twitter does not exist, it gave you the opportunity to catch up on what's been happening with our ever responsible ladies. 

Jenelle Evans is still atrocious! After marrying Courtland Rogers, getting arrested 3 zillion times, and getting bailed out 3 zillion times she's back home with mom Barbara and terrorizing their peaceful-ish domestic tranquility with her soulless vortex. Apparently we're supposed to be proud of her or something. We're not. She whines that being a teen mom is like sooo super hard – not sure how she would know since she doesn't even interact with Jace when he's sitting right in front of her. 

And since the world that is Jenelle is less stable than a drunk sorority girl on a parade float, she has more news. Jenelle takes a walk with her friend to share that getting off heroin is like hard and she's also like pregnant, so she's decided to get an abortion. How many pregnancies this year? "I should have made him put on a condom," Jenelle whines. "I'm so disappointed in myself." Completely monotone insincerity. 

Jenelle's mom Babs supports the abortion since she doesn't want to be raising a second grandchild that Jenelle lost track of while she pursued her intensely fulfilling relationship with twitter. Jenelle is glad Courtland is stuck in jail so she doesn't have to tell him about all of this. 

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Ready or not, Teen Mom 2 returns next Tuesday. The fifth (and possibly final) season will follow the huge messy train wreck that is Jenelle Evans, as well as Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Calvert.

Season five will feature Jenelle dealing with husband Courtland Rogers and boyfriend Nathan Griffith, as well as three pregnancies, Chelsea coming to terms with Adam Lind having a second child, and Kail attempting to co-parent with ex-boyfriend Jo Rivera and welcoming a new baby with husband Javi Marroquin. Also, even though Leah and Corey Simms are each remarried to other people now, they come together a lot for the sake of their two girlssesss. 

The Teen Mom 2 cast met up in New York City over the weekend to promote the new season and film their reunion show. Check out a few photos from the weekend below – and a new trailer courtesy of OK! magazine. 

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This year it was a reality TV weddings bonanza! Stars from all walks of the reality TV universe tied the knot in some truly tacky (and some surprisingly gorgeous) ceremonies! 

Thankfully they love to share their love – and any attempt to extend their fifteen minutes, so we also got tons of twitter updates, photos, spinoffs, and bridezilla drama to satiate our palates! 

Above, NeNe Leakes and Gregg wipe the slate clean and go through with this wedding like it's the first time they ever said 'I do!' 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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Are you looking for books to add to your 2014 reading list?  Teen Mom 2 star Grumpy Cat Kailyn Lowry recently shared that her memoir Pride Over Pity is coming soon to a book store near you! 

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Kail isn't joking about the long process.  We first shared news about her book in April – and she said it was almost ready to go then.  About the book, Kail originally tweeted,  "Not so much about being a teen mom – more about living with an addict and absent father resulting in where I am now."

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