Like many of us, Kristen Taekman just wants to channel her inner Heather and ask Bethenny Frankel:What’s your damage? On this week’s Real Housewives of New York, Kristen summons her courage to do just that. But much to Kristen’s dismay, Bethenny’s reply is, well, not a reply at all. It is more of a walking away and dismissing her like a parking valet who just dropped off Bethenny’s newest roving “home.” And thus Kristen is systematically ignored for one more episode of RHONY. In her Bravo blog, Kristen tries valiantly to spread the goodwill around to her castmates, while still whining at full volume about the fact that Bethenny just “doesn’t like her!”
Kristen begins by rehashing the Berkshires dinner, asking, “How do we get to know Bethenny if she’s got this wall up we can’t penetrate?” Well, it certainly ain’t gonna be by accusing her of badmouthing your business. Adding some over-the-top praise (complete with six whole “!!!!!!”s) for Bethenny’s business acumen, Kristen fake-gushes, “Bethenny’s brand summit! Wow! I I would have loved to have been there. It seems like one could have learned a lot! This is a perfect opportunity for Sonja [Morgan]–it’s great for her to see what her business could aspire to be! Damn I can’t believe how big Skinnygirl has become! I can only dream that Pop of Color will grow to be that big one day!
Bethenny Frankel doesn’t want us to get it twisted. She never called Kristen Taekman “dumb,” and she doesn’t have a running feud with Heather Thomson. So, then, why were those two themes a central focus in last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York? Bethenny shares in her Bravo blog that she “just wanted to end the dynamic with Heather.” She goes on to explain her wall/no wall (oxy)moronic way of living: “Although I am a reality star, I don’t always want the spotlight on me. I love doing reality TV, because I love the connection with the audience, the running commentary, the interaction with the women, and ultimately, the humor of it all. This doesn’t mean that when I’m going through some personal sh– that I want people up in my grill. It takes me a minute to get warm,” Bethenny explains.
Bethenny argues that making up with Heather, whether real or fake, was simply because she “just wanted to hug and make up and keep it moving.” She adds, “Aside from trying to give Sonja [Morgan] some guidance in the past, I am not on top of anyone trying to do anything. I just want to ease in and keep it easy breezy light and bright. Heather and I have different approaches.” Hitting the point home with the force of a blunt hammer, Bethenny continues, “I approached Heather, because I really didn’t want this to become some insane Housewife rivalry that it isn’t. She came on strong. I backed up. That is it. Different strokes for different folks. She is not my frenemy. Life is too short.”
I still don’t know what the hell happened on Real Housewives Of New York! One minute Bethenny Frankel was crying, the next she was hugging, the next she was building flimsy walls, the next she was eviscerating, the next she was arguing, the next she was conducting a high-powered business summit, the next she was running away, then she was apologizing. Dare I say – with all her emotional turmoil – she was acting like Kelly from Scary Island. I feel like everyone needs an instruction manual for how to operate Bethenny.
Back in the Berkshires at Dorinda Medley‘s birthday dinner, Bethenny is having a sobbing meltdown because Heather Thomson tried to smother her with a meatball like some sort of depraved Upper East Side momogul version of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. Get the memo, Heather: Bethenny doesn’t eat! Bethenny is allergic to fish – and, also Xanax!
Then Bethenny is running around to Heather’s side of the table, eyes shining with tears (or maybe it was Skinnygirl Sparklers; who knows) hugging Heather and apologizing for the walls she’s has because everyone is trying to put her in a Skinnygirl box. “I’m over myself!” Bethenny snaps. “I just don’t want attention!” Except for the times I’ve talked to the media and put myself on reality shows!
Meghan, who is married to former MLB player Jim Edmonds, revealed they joined the show to tell their “really unique story” – of being the much-younger third wife of a former pro-athlete in a midlife crisis? of being the “hashtag cool stepmom!”
“I don’t know a lot of people who are young stepmoms. It could feel really isolating,” Meghan shares. “I want others to see that this happens and it doesn’t have to be a secret. And not only that, we have a lot of things happening in our lives.” Whoa – deep.
It’s that time of the the week again, the time when we sit back and relax with the Real Housewives of New York epic fantasy novel that is Sonja Morgan’sBravo blog. But, alas! This week’s intern post is a bit more lucid than normal, so perhaps that psycho-pharmacologist has finally balanced Lady Morgan’s VitaMeataVegamin cocktail a bit better these days? Or maybe the Swami priestess is influencing this new, more rational perspective? In any case – light your abundance candles, people, because we’re diving in!
“You’ve got to love how a dinner party at which two girls cried is considered tame for my group of friends,” begins Sonja. Ha! Expressing her love for Dorinda Medley’s house, hostessing skills, and her expert handling of the den of vipers she invited for the weekend, Sonja comments, “Overall Dorinda was an amazing hostess to all of us crazy ladies, and I am so grateful to her for extending her warmth and hospitality by sharing her birthday with us nuts.” She also knows that Dorinda must have achieved all of her happiness through watching The Secret on repeat whilst lying around in a dirty robe, just like Sonja does! “I loved the story Dorinda shared about wanting to own that beautiful house. Positivity, visualization, and tenacity are the ultimate keys to success. I have learned that through my decades of hard work and experience, and it has really served me well. Everything I have dreamed has come true. Furthermore, I bring the fun, not the drama,” says Sonja.
Luann de Lessepsthinks Heather Thomson needs to be cool, not all uncool. In this week’s Bravo blog, the Real Housewives of New York’s resident Countess reviews the etiquette of Googling people’s dates, wearing elbow-length gloves to dinner, and offering meatballs to psychologically unstable dinner companions. Luann begins by praising Dorinda Medley’s beautiful home, and the sweet story of her father that went along with it. “The Berkshires in the winter is gorgeous, and Dorinda’s home is as vibrant as her personality,” she says, “I took a car from New York with Ramona [Singer], and I have to admit, it wasn’t all that bad! We’ve been through so much together that when we have a tiff, it’s more of a fender bender than a 95-car pileup. Boy, have things changed!”
Luann questions whether Ramona is ready to close the Mario chapter also, reflecting that “I think Ramona enjoys her business partner’s company and that is why she invited him to Dorinda’s party, yet I don’t feel like she’s completely moved on from Mario–they aren’t even divorced yet. They’ve been married for so long that it’s going to take time before she feels comfortable in the dating scene.” Next, Luann questions Kristen Taekman’s sanity in bringing up John’s handsy behavior to Dorinda. (Doesn’t she know that kind of smack talk is done firmly behind our friend’s back? What are we here, animals!?) Luann asks, “Is Kristen nuts bringing up how she feels about John with Dorinda? You can see in the flashback video that Kristen was getting her groove on with John and didn’t seem to mind grinding on the dance floor in front of the girls and her husband. Her explanation that shimmying in the back isn’t the same as the front seems a little hypocritical to me. John makes Dorinda happy, and she’s opened up her heart to him, so her friends need to accept John for who he is…a kind, sometimes slightly inappropriate man who should heed Dorinda’s warning that these girls are looking to throw him under the bus.”
After busting in on the Real Housewives of New YorkBerkshires weekend hosted by Dorinda Medley this week, Bethenny Frankel has a lot to say in her latest Bravo blog. Even though she “came from a place of yes” in forcing herself to go to Dorinda’s in the first place, not all of the ladies were filled with glee to hear the *Ding-Dong!* of her arrival. “Oh the Berkshires…there is a lot of talk about the Berkshires. Fortunately, you won’t have to endure many more tears from me after this,” begins Bethenny. Although she originally intended not to attend Dorinda’s birthday weekend because it was her time with daughter, Bryn, Bethenny explains she had a change of contract heart. “So what did I do?” explains Bethenny, “I booked a limo with blankets and pillows and princess movies and came to the dinner after bedtime. I came from ‘a place of yes,’ and it worked out. That said, I was, as Carole [Radziwill] puts it, ‘wound tight’ having tried to pull it all together.”
One high point of the trip was getting to see Dorinda’s fab house, and the ridiculously overdressed women who inhabited it. Bethenny comments, “It was a beautiful house and so wintery, and I walked into a scene from Knots Landing with the way these women were dressed. I felt like I was overdressed. There is no more casual place in the world. That definitely made me giggle.” But giggling was cut short by the school principal at dinner that night! Bethenny explains her feelings aboutHeather Thomsonbutting in to her private giggle-fest with table neighbor, Sonja Morgan. “Well, I just wanted to chill and laugh, and I felt that Heather was on my jock again. We definitely have different styles when getting to know each other,” says Bethenny.
The Real Housewives Of New York traveled to the Berkshires to celebrate Dorinda Medley‘s 50th birthday. After spying all the luxury, wealth, and fabulous splendor around her, Ramona Singer had a change of heart – both about the Berkshires and about Dorinda’s boyfriend John.
Ramona learned that people of the Berkshires are not uncivilized heathens gallivanting around bra-less (well unless they’re Sonja Morgan!) – without air conditioners, wine fridges, and personal valets. Last season the horror of a home without a heliport nearly did Ramona in along with the terrible fright of experiencing trees in their natural habitat. Thankfully Dorinda opened Ramona’s eyes and Ramona recognized being prejudiced and stereotyping is not OK!
Speaking of things being OK, Luann de Lesseps was trapped in a car with Ramona the entire way there as Ramona feverishly searched for the number of the AC company she called last year – just in case. As Luann swanned out of the town car, in a fur-trimmed cape, she paused to look at Dorinda’s massive splendorous spread and she said, “Dahling – we aren’t in Connecticut anymore. And yes, I survived the cruel joke of a car ride with Ramona!”