Interesting, because Bravo has been promoting Christopher and Albie's latest project (Little Big Town) pretty heavily on RHONJ. Caroline has also pretty much moved out of Franklin Lakes and relocated to Hoboken near her boys. Caroline's storyline this season has been recapturing the love with Al whose unfaithfulness has been hinted at several times. I imagine the true subject of the spinoff would be starting over with the boys building a new family business and Caroline staying in the role of the matriarch.
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was about reinventing the old and making it new again. Make new frienemies, but keep the old… one is faux marble and the other is faux leopard!
Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita made up and by that I mean they vowed not to appear at anymore reunions wearing dresses where the sequins turned into poison darts and and scream cheating accusations at each other's husbands. So by making amends they decided to keep each other's secrets…
Oh and Jacqueline shed her old stripper skin in favor of some new skin that didn't have washed up tacky tattoos on it. When did getting plastic surgery become a requisite Housewives storyline?
Things begin with Teresa and Jacqueline continuing with their "tawk". Jacqueline is clearly flustered because she forgot her translucent powder and her blotting papers. Girl was shiny as a gold lame and her hair was all mussed. Maybe she and Teresa had some sort of knock-down, drag-out, rolling on the table brawl and the footage was accidentally damaged when some Fabellini got tossed on it and that's why we didn't see it? That would explain Jacq's shininess…
Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey was all very…orange. From Caroline Manzo's hair as she bossed around her family and tried broker a treaty between Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice to Joe Gorga's billboard extravaganza, orange was definitely the color scheme. Thankfully, it's a color I like. What I don't like is all the underhanded quips and lack of accountability, but I've learned that behavior is par for the course with this crowd!
Melissa Gorga takes her boys to visit Joe at the job site and he gets a call asking him to model on a tanning salon billboard. Mel doesn't want to join him in his highway advertising debut because Tre once did a commercial for the same salon. What a throwback! Melissa doesn't want Teresa to assume she's copying her yet again. She's content just to drive the bulldozer. All of the bouncing and shrieking and "make it stop" is probably something Joe is used to hearing in the bedroom.
Teresa is hosting the first family dinner in ages. She has her girls help her prepare the table, and they are excited to see their cousins. Teresa asks the always entertaining Melania if she plans to cook for her husband when she grows up. Um no. Melania's husband will definitely be cooking for her.
Caroline made it clear that since the case isn't the typical silly drama of Real Housewives of New Jersey, she's not dishing on it. She told AndyCohen, "I texted her the day of the indictment. I just sent a message that I'll keep to myself and she did respond back and I'm going to keep that to myself as well.".
Reality TV star birthdays are typically celebrated with over-the-top festivities, loads of sequins, glitter and party bills they may not be able to pay. See which celebs will be partying it up in August!
So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.
While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzonow in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow.
So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!
After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave.