We open this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Melbournewith Janet Roach meeting Gina Liano for lunch to discuss the whole deal that went down between Janet, Chyka Keebaugh and Gamble Breaux. Both come wearing fighting colors – orange for Gina and black for Janet. Gina coordinates her outfits down to the eyeshadow. It must take her like 2 hours to get ready before she leaves the house.
Gina wants some clarity on who said what and Janet is in for it. You can just tell Janet gets caught up in the moment with spreading rumors and gossip as Gina is hammering her about what was exactly said, Janet essentially starts stuttering. Janet’s talking in circles and it’s not looking good for her. Gina scolds her and is just like “Shut your trap sometimes because it gets you into trouble!”. I think Janet needed to hear this – but she hated hearing it and walked out of the lunch. This is unfortunate that she took it so poorly from Gina. Janet probably felt pretty bad about the whole ordeal and is now regretting what she said which caused her to get up and leave. I don’t like that Gina inserted herself into the middle of this, but Janet did need a good talking to. Let’s hope this is laid to rest!
This week we open this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne with Lydia Schiavello and Chyka Keebaugh catching up and having a midday cocktail. Lydia is flying to Florence for her son’s wedding. Her son is 24 and Lydia is 45 and she can’t believe he’s getting married but nonetheless she is incredibly excited for him. Lydia really does look great for 45.
Chyka wastes no time and spills the beans (very un-Chyka like! But somehow, I still love her even when she is gossiping) about her lunch the other day with Gamble and Janet Roach. She gives her the lowdown. Chyka just asked Gamble Breauxabout what the entire city of Melbourne has read in the press regarding her last relationship. However, Janet comes out of left field with asking her about the “rumors” that Gamble was a stripper and likes to throw sex parties. Chyka tells Lydia she has no idea where that came from and Lydia is so peeved she wasn’t a fly on the wall during that lunch.
This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne opens with Pettifleur Berenger shopping for a car for her birthday present. Not just any car – she’s in the showroom taking a Bentley for test drive. She’s hoping her boyfriend foots the $450K bill because she has worked so hard and came from essentially nothing. She wants to make the sure mirrors are in top working order and would like to customize floor mirrors so she can constantly check herself out and not veer off the side of a cliff while driving. And I was hoping to just get a massage for my birthday.
Back at Lydia Schiavello’s house, where she’s hanging out with Figaro (her dog) and her mom. They browse through Figaro’s suitcase full of dog clothes as they prep him for a walk. That poor pup. During their walk Lydia spills that Janet Roach is 56 years old and that she’s in a better place with her and is trying her best to move on from the past year. This was a pointless scene IMO.
Last night was the season 2 premiere of The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Unfortunately, we had to say goodbye to the doctor’s wife, Andrea Moss. Two new wives are added to the crew this season: Gamble Breaux and Pettifleur Berenger! Good to know the insanity of names like the Apples and Pilot Inspektors of the U.S. have made their mark on the Aussies. I have never heard of Gamble or Pettifleur as I’m having a baby in a few weeks and have scoured the web for names and haven’t seen these at all. Not.Even. Once. Okie!
Chyka Keebaugh, Lydia Schiavello and Jackie Gillies meet for lunch and oy vey, they are already starting with the references about Lydia’s sex life and her newly dropped weight. Chyka asks how much coffee she is drinking and gross, here we go! Lydia responds that she drinks 8 cups (that’s a crap load of coffee per day IMO) and her heart is pounding and she quickly quips that she likes to get pounded all day. The waiter stops by the table to take her drink order and she shares that she likes wet p****es…but only as the drink and.. just STOP already! Day one and I can’t handle the superfluous sexual remarks coming out of Lydia’s mouth. Barf.
Speaking to E! News about season two, Jackie shared, “If you’ve seen season one my friend, I certainly have not changed anything. I always keep it real, I’m always very straightforward. I could probably swear a little less. It sounds much nicer in another language, like I usually swear in, but when you swear in English it sounds a bit more, uh, bloody awful.”
We begin with Lydia Schiavello and Andrea Moss having coffee and I squirm watching these two in cahoots about hating on everyone. They’re not even mean girls, they’re just bored and don’t have anything else to do. Lydia gets on the horn and calls Janet to be like, “why they he’ll you going to Gina’s fundraiser??!!”. Janet, who’s had enough of this fighting, is all, “I’m over bagging Gina”. Lydia and Andrea can’t handle that answer. Nope. They continue to berate Janet into not going and then blame their phone crashing for having to end the convo. Good for Janet! She’s over it (who isn’t at this point??!!) and is going to Gina Liano’s event regardless of Lydia and Andrea’s stupid reasoning.
Shopping sprees abound on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne!!! Janet Roachand Chyka Keebaugh head out to pick up a few cocktail dresses and cha-ching! Their personal stylists have it the jackpot. As they add dress after dress, each one about $2K each, I’m getting majorly jealous – I don’t even wear anything that needs to be dry cleaned these days, let alone a magenta pink Swarovski dress. Meanwhile, Gina Liano meets up with Melbourne’s version of Patti Stanger and is looking for a new man in her life. Gina does meet the criteria of a millionairess so we’ll see how that goes later on.
Ugh, I’m starting loathe the Lydia scenes. We’re now in Lydia Schiavello’s kitchen as she is strangely oohing and ahhing over her maid, Joanna’s peeling technique of vegetables. Lydia actually has the audacity to say that since she’s had hired help for the past 20 years, she’s forgot how to clean. Say what??!! Just stop Lydia. Lydia found Joanna on the street in front of her house a few years ago and now they are best buds. Joanna also picks out Lydia clothes because Lydia has no idea where anything is. Huh? I don’t think Joanna is her best friend in the sense you and I have best friends. I think Joanna is her best hired helper. That seems more up Lydia’s alley.