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KUWTK

Kim, Khloe, Kourtney Kardashian

I guess sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas. Sometimes it kloses in Vegas…because no one wants to shop for overpriced, tacky, Kardashian branded klothes there. It’s a sad day for the empire built on the letter K. Those krazy Kardashians will put their names on anything, from make-up products to game apps. Unfortunately for us, the nice and normal public, nine times out of then, their kooky ventures take the kake.

However, every once in a while, the Kardashian brand just kan’t kut it. Alas, that is the kase for Khaos. Okay, I’ll stop with the “k” thing. Trust me, it’s annoying me as much as it’s annoying you!

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Kim Kardashian Woman of the Year

I still cannot wrap my brain around Kim Kardashian being named Woman of the Year by British GQ. I have so many questions! For starters, which came first, the woman of the year honor or the nude photo shoot?

Just kidding. The nude photo spread probably came first. The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star doesn’t need to be tempted with a shiny piece of metal to show off her body… dull green paper does the trick. Or a check made payable to Kris Jenner. Such a classy family… I see more awards in their future.

Of course I’m not the only one who’s baffled by the award. Twitter exploded with outrage! They lashed out at both Kim and GQ. However, the majority of these people didn’t take the time to learn the difference between British GQ and US GQ, so they have been taking their anger out on the wrong magazine.

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kim-k

I interrupt your weekend to bring you this truly gag inducing story. Plus, we can never get enough of the Kardashians, right? I kid, I kid. Clearly, they can’t get enough of themselves, and Kim’s recent nekkid GQ shoot is just more of the same for this crew.

The other day we asked what you thought of Kim’s bare bum and fake tan (missed it? Check it out after the jump! You’re welcome). I thought the picture alone was bad. I was so, so, so wrong. Along with the photograph, Kim also gave an interview in which she brags about her sex life with husband Kanye West, hints about another potential sex tape (she does love to star in those, doesn’t she?), and reveals that Vogue editor Anna Wintour put her stamp of approval on North’s creative name. Poor Anna. She’s losing cool points left and right these days!

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Kanye and Kim Wedding

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in. It pains me to report that Keeping Up with the Kardashians won Sunday night, with 2.845 million (a season high) tuning in to see Kourtney tell Scott she’s pregnant. While 2.101 million watched the season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians Monday night, it was no match for the unbridled mess that was Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Part two of the reunion garnered 4.063 million (a season high) viewers.

Atlanta Exes remained steady with 1.905 million watching the Exes seek help from a mediator, and 2.032 million watched part two of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion, bringing its season average to 1.78 million.

Believe it or not, Teen Mom 2 won Wednesday night, with 1.553 million viewers. Also this week, 1.559 million watched the ALDC prepare for Nationals on Dance Moms and 1.018 million tolerated Josh Altman’s ego on Million Dollar Listing LA. In summary, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and Teen Mom 2 ruled the cable ratings this week, and I don’t know whether to weep for our society or thank all of you for the job security. ;)

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Love & Hip Hop Atlanta

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers: the season finale of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta attracted a whopping 3.904 million fans, bringing its season average to 3.493 million. Real Housewives of Orange County remained Bravo’s current highest rated show after 2.027 million watched the explosive season finale.

Good News: the premiere of Atlanta Exes garnered 2.275 million viewers and 1.678 million stuck around for round two. A Sunday showing of Don’t Be Tardy logged 1.283 million viewers. 

Steady News: 2.433 million saw a huge fuss over Khloe on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 1.673 million sat through a rough competition on Dance Moms, and 1.810 million watched Jenelle file for divorce on Teen Mom 2. Nearly one million watched the season premiere of Million Dollar Listing LA.

Bad News: Real Housewives of New Jersey had a great fall – down to 1.717 million – and all the garbage and all the cannolis couldn’t put Real Housewives of New Jersey together again.

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RHOC Lizzie Rovsek

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the Real Housewives of Orange County have two reasons to celebrate this week. Real Housewives of Orange County attracted over two million viewers for the first time this season, with 2.032 million tuning in to see Lizzie call out Tamra, and RHOC was the highest rated show currently airing on Bravo for two weeks in a row now.

Real Housewives of New Jersey saw a small but much needed increase in viewership, with 2.007 million watching to see how the terrible first responder’s party ended. RHOC‘s rising ratings pushed RHONJ into the #2 spot on Bravo’s lineup. The third and final part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.305 million viewers, bringing its season average to 1.291 million.

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Scott Disick Kourtney Kardashian

Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.

In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.

Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.

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Real Housewives of New York reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the second installment of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.514 million viewers, while the Real Housewives of Orange County saw a season high with 1.974 million tuning in to see them travel to Bali. For reasons I will never understand, 2.367 million watched the most vapid person on the planet contemplate adoption on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. As if.

Dance Moms saw a tiny increase in viewership. 1.517 million watched Abby vs. Cathy, but that’s still a far cry from the pre-Kelly/Abby fight numbers.

Promise of a catty fight on Real Housewives of New Jersey attracted 1.753 million viewers, 903,000 Don’t Be Tardy fans watched the Biermann Bunch go to Florida, and a new headache-inducing episode of Teen Mom 2 garnered 1.774 million viewers. Game of Crowns lost nearly 200,000 viewers. For most shows, that would not be a big deal, but to go from 618,000 viewers last week to 419,000 viewers this week is just terrible.

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