“You may remember I did this show – this little show on a major network – called TheCelebrity Apprentice,” said Lisa. “The year that I did it, it was definitely, because of me, called Celebrity Fight Club because I hated everyone. What makes it worse for the women celebrities is that we have to spend two hours in hair and makeup every day because we look so bedraggled. One morning, like six weeks into the show, I am super tired and at 4 a.m. my makeup artist comes in and she goes, ‘Lisa, listen to this, everyone in wardrobe is saying Teresa – From the Real Housewives, who was also on the show with me. You know, the one in jail now. – is definitely pregnant because her stomach appears to be getting bigger.’ I’m like, ‘I need to investigate this because I need to be in on all the tea, honey.'”
Lisa reveals that she and her husband decided to get a gastric-sleeve surgery together together to improve their health, and after ten weeks, Lisa has lost an astonishing fifty pounds. Her husband has lost thirty-six pounds in the two weeks after his surgery. Of course. Weight loss is always easier for the dudes, right?
Oh, poor Clay Aiken. Always a reality show bridesmaid, never a reality show bride. For the second time, Clay proved he had the talent to take it to the end, but fell short. Again. At last he has his extremely devoted fans, the Claymates. And Clay will always have the best line of the season when he expertly described Aubrey O’Day climbing out of her momma’s womb and onto a stripper’s pole. For that, he will always live on in our hearts. Well, until the next troop of Z-listers comes around for Celebrity Apprentice.
I called it — I knew Clay Aiken was not going to be let go from Celebrity Apprentice, simply because the camera tricks were entirely too obvious. Reality television programs love to mess with our minds and this was no exception. Last week, it was clear that Marlee Matlin and John Rich were not fans of Aubrey O’Day, and I had a feeling she would be fired.
Donald Trump fired Aubrey by saying she was “transparent.” Which is true, and Aubrey responded by saying she wasn’t. Aubrey is transparent, and extremely smart, but overplayed her hand by constantly taking credit for everything and talking shit about her colleagues. The only person Aubrey didn’t insult on camera was Lisa Lampanelli (too scared she would end up in Lisa’s act?); even her so-called friend Teresa Giudice was given the talking head snark treatment.
On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, we lost two of the biggest reasons to watch the show. I’ll spare you the spoiler alert, and I’ll just start from the ending: Teresa Giudice finally floated her way out of the boardroom, and Lisa Lampanelli found herself in a situation she couldn’t cry her way out of. In fact, it was her constant crying that cost her a spot in the final two. Lisa has bragged on her Twitter that she uses crying to manipulate the judges, so I stopped buying the “passionate comic act” around the second time she did it.
Last night’s task was to create an ad campaign for CHI hair products for Elle magazine. Anyone else get the feeling they create tasks that are perfect for the just eliminated contestant? Dayana Mendoza could have possibly done really well on this task with her modeling background and connections. I guess we’ll never know. She could have created an ad campaign with a woman getting her hair done coming out of labor; the labor thing being one of her more outlandish ideas. Teresa and Lisa decide to project manage.