It's so haa-arrr-arrd to say good-bye to Stevie Jaaaaaaayyyyeeeeeee! Last night's final installment of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion was bittersweet. On one hand, it's been an emotional roller coaster of a season, and this girl is drained, but on the other, speaking like Lil' Scrappy in the off-season tends to draw some strange looks in my place of biz-nigh-ee.
We'll jump right back into where Mona Scott Young left us…with Rasheeda and Kirk Frost's dysfunctional marriage. The audience is stunned to re-watch Kirk suggest his wife get an abortion, and he says–with a straight face, no less!–that pulling out was a legitimate form of birth control. What, is he sixteen? Mona scolds Kirk when he laughs over the footage of his affair, and he again relays to Mona that he believes Rasheeda gave him a free pass. Mimi Faust is all "oh no he didn't" from the sofas, and Drew knows better than do anything but nod in agreement to Mimi's outcry since he's sitting between her and Traci Reece.
Y'all, I know you were as excited as I was to see the insanity unfold on last night's Love & Hip Hop Reunion. Mona Scott-Young is moving up in the hosting world and now has her own reunion band. Touting the season as a Hip HOpera (why didn't I think of that??), she breaks down the drama from the past season before introducing the cast. It's like a technicolor explosion. Between K. Michelle's hair, Ariane's blue lipstick (yes, blue), Erica Dixon's eye make-up, and Mimi Faust's orange dress, I feel like I just woke up in Oz. Kirk Frost gets booed, which he laughs off, because, hey, even he knows what a d-bag he is! He is dressed like an extra on Miami Vice, by the way.
Mona is no idiot, so she immediately pits Joseline Hernandez against Mimi, and the requisite derogatory name-calling, cussing, and hopping off the sofa ensues. Stevie J. stands up proudly, basking in the two women fighting over him. Mimi assures him that he's sorely mistaken, right before dodging Joseline's stiletto. We're off to a running start, I'd say. We are treated to a highlight reel of all the frenemy feuds. Ariane is the only sane one of the group.
After bringing up the status of Mimi and K. Michelle's friendship, Mimi rolls her eyes and tells Mona to ask K. K. then compliments Mimi on her orange dress (it is pretty), and you could cut the tension with a knife. Apparently Ariane's bridge building lessons weren't well received. Speaking of failed peacemakers, Traci tries to share her intentions to get Erica and Shay speak about their issues. Erica wonders if this is season two, not a rerun of season one, while Shay reminds Erica that she still isn't married to Lil' Scrappy.
Has the season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta already flown past us in a flurry of unblinged Rolexes, popcorn hos, no-necks, cabin fever (and flings!), and Joseline Hernandez one-liners? Sadly, it appears so. Last night was the season finale, and wow. I don't know if Stevie J. totally appalls me, or if I should be impressed by his sheer ego induced stupidity.
The episode begins with Stevie asking Joseline to clarify her question. She spells it out that she is asking him to marry her. He's not willing to say yes, but he likes the ring so he'll wear it. Joseline is special to him…and she buys him expensive gifts. Stevie thinks that patience is a virtue, and Joseline is thrilled that he's kind enough to wear the token of her undying devotion. Someone get her some self-esteem STAT.
Rasheeda invites Traci Reece, Erica Dixon, and Karlie Redd over for cocktails and nursery painting. She reveals that she's having a boy…and that she's consulted an attorney about her situation with husband Kirk Frost. Erica is saddened. Whose dysfunctional relationship can she look up to now? Speaking of, Rasheeda asks about Lil' Scrappy and his problem with the wiz-nigh-ee.
Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta had everything you could ask for in a drama…romance, drugs, infidelity, the possibilty of prison, an unexpected proposal, and, of course, boobs. Lots and lots of boobs. VH1, you know what viewers want to see! #sarcasm #ican'tunseejoseline'sbathingsuit
Kirk Frost is livid over Rasheeda'smom's mini-van mayhem that ruined a palm tree and set his moped on fire (after running over it multiple times). He's willing to give his mother-in-law a pass, but had it been anyone else, he'd have come to blows. Oh yes, Kirk. You are so tough. Rasheeda reveals that she's already spoken to an attorney about filing for divorce, and Kirk actually seems surprised. He loves his wife and his family, and he's not all about those other women. He reminds her that she kicked him out, but she tells him she didn't tell him to go screw around…she was hoping he'd fight to stay in her life. Kirk is trying to skew Rasheeda's words to make his behavior at Benzino's cabin…and he's failing miserably.
Erica Dixon and Mimi Faust are commiserating about Lil' Scrappy and Stevie J. both use money for their daughters to keep the women indebted to them. Erica is sick of Momma Dee, and she's tired of Scrappy always taking his crazy mom's side. Mimi can relate…after all, the BMW Stevie bought for her definitely had strings attached. The women continue to share stories and discuss the wonders of a good boob job. It's perfectly normal conversation for the driving range!
It's time for another installment of everyone's favorite Peach State telenovela! Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta did not disappoint. I found love with the kind hearted Poppa J. who makes Stevie's grossness and disgusting misogynistic actions even more of a mystery to me.
Rasheeda comes to Mimi Faust's apartment to vent about husband Kirk Frost's behavior at the lake with Benzino. She reveals that, yes, she did tell Kirk to do him, so she can't be totally shocked by his trysts. Um, no. She told Kirk to do him, she didn't tell Kirk to do video vixens in a hot tub. A teary Rasheeda remembers the Kirk she met as a teenager and cries that she didn't get married to get divorced…especially pregnant with his child.
Lil' Scrappy decides to do the right thing and redo his pee test. Unfortunately, he's been smizz-ni-oking the marijuizzlefashizzle, and he's hoping the judge will be lenient with him. Scrap's attorney has also given him the name of a good drug counselor who can help him get to the bottom of why he needs to get high. One look at Momma Dee raving about how Erica Dixon is a farm animal in the pastures of her palace and I have his answer…free of charge.
I'll give it to the cast of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta…they are willing to share the spotlight and the drama! One week, it's all about Stevie J. and his love rhombus, and the next week, Benzino's mountain weekend takes center stage. It's compromise at its most pure form…
Kirk Frost's actual threesome is happening on camera. Whatever happened to the subtle innuendo of a man walking two hoochies into his bedroom and America knowing what was getting ready to happen? Did we really need to see the naked backs and the massages? Gahhhh. The following morning, Kirk knows he's got a lot of things to fix, but he hasn't had so much fun since the late 90's. Benzino thinks that his friend has made a major marriage error, and he questions Kirk as to whether a threesome with video vixens was "the pass" Rasheeda had given him. Kirk couldn't care less. He had a hot tub and some biznizzles…it was meant to be. Please forgive me for trying to get my inner Scrappy on, but it's so much fun!
Okay, if I didn't already know that Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was scripted, I think Kirk Frost's mountain weekend last night would have been a dead giveaway. Seriously? The dude has a pregnant wife and he has cameras following his every move. I hope both he AND Rasheeda are laughing their way to the bank with that VH1 storyline! Let's get started, shall we?
Kirk heads to Benzino's to vent about his pregnant wife making a video with HIS money from THEIR joint account. Benzino thinks that his friend is starting to wage a battle on his wife, and he hates seeing a "power couple" like the Frosts crumbling. He thinks his friend needs to get away from the city and the strip clubs and head to the lake. Kirk will be able to clear his head, and hopefully Benzino will forget he can't find love in the ATL.
Last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was a hair-raising event. There were pee tests gone wrong, break-ups gone terribly wrong, and the worst weave and bubbly cocktail establishment opening to date in the history of reality television. Of course, it may have been the first weave and cocktail store ever, but still….
Karlie Redd calls Mimi Faust to give her some intel about Nikko. The women head out shopping, and while Mimi finds Karlie to be super messy, she wants to hear what Karlie has to say. Karlie reveals that Nikko has been trying to hook up with her, and she has text messages from friends of friends to prove it. Mimi sees the proof, and it's almost as if she's gotten the excuse she wanted to kick Nikko to the curb.
After Joseline Hernandez and Stevie's J.'s blow-up, he feels like he was too harsh on her. Translation: Now that he's got Mimi in his back pocket thanks to the BMW purchase, he needs to straighten things out with the one groupie who will do anything for him. Joseline admits that she has a tough exterior, but she's missed her Stevie. She wants to work on her music with him, and he thinks that they need to go the independent route to promote her new songs. The pair share a pinky swear and all is right with the world.