Although inherently likable in a crazy semi-drunken auntie kind of way, Sonja Morgan is quickly heading into Kim Richards territory with her constant “Don’t ask me about my businesses! My businesses are FINE! I am not struggling with my businesses!!” Hmmm…we thinketh the lady doth protest too much, no? In her Bravo blog, Lady Morgan attempts yet again to set the record straight about her many business ventures, her relationships with the other Real Housewives of New York ladies, and why she thinks Bethenny Frankelhas ulterior motives. Putting Bethenny (the only person willing to enter into Sonja’s delusions to ‘help’ her at this point) on blast right away, Sonja opens her blog by saying, “I don’t feel like Bethenny is really able to understand my businesses and my situation enough to ask some of the driving questions at this point. Especially after the briefing she got from the other girls who pretend I haven’t been working my tail off and don’t know how to run a business.” She adds that Bethenny’s realistic and savvy inappropriate questions darn near give her the vapors! “Bethenny can get a person flustered, though. Like when we were talking about how I had to file the Chapter 11. Bethenny has never had to do that before that I know of and really doesn’t understand the process. Believe me, no one knows until they live it,” says Sonja.
Backtracking a bit, Sonja adds, “I didn’t mean to come off as ungrateful to the process of reorganization when I said that there would be fumes left if I sold the house. I was just caught off guard, because Bethenny has a habit of cutting people off and throwing her generalized opinions so freely.” As for her explanation of how the real estate market works, well, let’s just read it straight from the intern’s mind of Sonja: “I definitely have been blessed to have the opportunity to sell off assets to pay the judgment. Very! It’s enabled me to keep my house, my asset, and stability for my young daughter. Sorry, Bethenny, selling real estate and scaling down is not good business. Only sell to go bigger, leverage, and take tax advantages. That is if you can. I have owned my real estate for 18 years; it would be a shame to take a hit with that kind of appreciation.” She will not be scaled down, people! Her yacht may have sailed, but her dinghy is comin’ on in!
Andy tells Carole about Luann’s Tweets, claiming that her niece and Adam were still seeing each other and were even planning a trip together. “No, let me be clear. The truth is they broke up over a year before I met Adam and the trip that she’s referring to is a trip to Nicaragua where he runs a nonprofit, a farm. And they were going with a whole group of people. After they broke up they remained friends and are still very friendly to this day.”
The true story of Real Housewives Of New York is not what’s happening on the episode, but what’s happening on twitter while the episode is airing. Things have gone from A to F–ked with Luann de Lesseps and Carole Radziwill slamming each other something l0w-down dirty and arguing over the proclivities and scheduling conflicts of a thirty-something boy. They’re like two mommies in a custody dispute. Ladies – it’s embarrassing.
Basically Carole started dating Luann’s nieces ex-boyfriend, but didn’t tell Luann because she’s scared of what Lu will think. Even though Carole claims the niece and the fling broke up over a year ago. Interesting. Before all that cockamamie nonsense, we have to get to Sonja Morgan‘s cockamamie nonsense – and she doesn’t swallow unless its for a Black Card (or a pinot).
In her latest Bravo blog, she comments on drama, dating, and daughters – and it’s all shockingly above board! Dorinda starts by reacting to Carole Radziwill’s news of dating Luann de Lesseps‘ much-younger chef. Dorinda admits she was surprised by the news, but says “I didn’t know all the complexities at play, as well as her dating habits. I felt this might cause some problems with Luann, as it is a little close to home in many ways. We’ll see. I choose to stay out of people’s dating lives, as a rule, since it’s none of my business.” She adds, “At this point in our lives (for Carole and I, at least), we make our own choices and what comes of it, comes of it. As Doris Day said, ‘Que sera, sera.’”
Of course, it makes me sad that Luann and Carole’s friendship got like all uncool, but it makes me even more curious – what happened?! Obviously the issue stemmed from Carole’s relationship with Luann’s chef Adam – but it’s not so simple as an etiquette misstep, Luann reveals that Carole’s cavorting with her chef caused some family drama! Oh bother.
Calling out Heather Thomsonfor having double standards when it comes to supporting her friends’, eh, questionable choices in men, Sonja throws some shade her way: “I’m glad to see that Heathercan be supportive of someone, because she hasn’t been able to support me of recent. I’m surprised, though, that Heather was able to listen to that whole speel (sic) from Carole–doing drugs, drinking tequila, throwing up in a rickshaw, and hiding a relationship from Luann-–without making a single judgmental comment! Weren’t Heather and Carole just saying last week that I drink too much and am out of control?” She adds, “But hey, maybe Heather is finally learning to accept that some people are fun! Either that or Heather has different standards for Carole than she has for me. I’m starting to think that it is the latter and that Heather is just giving me a hard time to give me a hard time! Do you think there is an underlying factor causing this? Because we have always been cool with each other, not uncool.” Hey! No stealing the countess’s Best.Line.Ever! #becoolplagiarism
Someone at the Real Housewives Of New York emporium got a little too liberal with the Sex And The City DVDs this season. I’ve been missing my vintage Carrie Bradshaw as much as the next former 20-something girl of a certain millennium, but do we really need to re-live her life starring Carole Radziwill in My So-Called Reality Show? (Another gem of my generation).
While Carole is busy cosplaying Carrie, the other girls are busy being Housewives and starting high velocity fights over wrangled pretenses and loose indignations. Carole is riding bikes in heels around NYC, dating a boy who doesn’t wanna grow up, experimenting with drugs, getting munchies for KFC, losing her virginity <insert emoji here>, and rocking those Jordache jeans she saved all her babysitting money to buy. Life is good when mercury is in retrograde.