As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
Things begin with Carole Radziwill (in her nephew’s borrowed Halloween costume), Sonja Morgan (in Indiana Jones’ borrowed hat), and LuAnn (in Princess Diana’s borrowed accent) arriving in London. Heather Thomson and her Yummie Tummie holla-ing team are already there.
Carole is grouchy. And she’ll remind you of it over and over on this trip. Personally, a grouchy and snarky Carole is much more what Bravo was hoping for when they cast her – and she’s a good kind of witty grouchy, not just an out of control bitch.
The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan – executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life – knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.
As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile; if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.
Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace – but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.
Say what?! Andy uses graphs and charts to cast the crazy?! According to a new interview with AdAge, Andy credited research for the reasoning behind the firings. “We snort up research like fine Colombian cocaine,” he admitted of the Bravomeisters approach to determining what viewers want.
“I love Twitter because it’s a live focus group,” said Andy, explaining that one reason certain cast members of RHONY were let go was because of negative feedback about them on social media.
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York drama over London continued. The city that likely paid Bravo to keep Pinot Singer from outside it’s fair confines for fear of what may occur has stood its ground and used Holla Thomson as the first offensive round in protecting its citizens from the wrath of pinot. That’s right, Heather proves that NOT inviting someone on a cast trip actually causes more drama than inviting them. How did she swing this one?
Things begin with a friendly lunch between Ramona, Aviva Drescher, and Carole Radziwill. Carole giggles nervously a lot as if she’s afraid to breathe wrong in the presence of the hair-trigger Ramona who is already on the wine. Was it even noon? Ramona shoves some skincare down everyone’s throats in the form of gifts.
Sonja Morgan was supposed to attend but bailed feigning illness. The girls launch right in to discussing Holla, who “talks a lot” and apparently it’s very hard to weed through a conversation with her. Carole and Aviva seem awkward discussing this given that Pinot approaches a conversation in much the same way. Who exactly were they talking about? Pinot or Holla?