I’ve already done double duty tonight, channeling my inner Mr. Belvedere and presenting myself with some running socks (sadly, I own no shoes with red soles) and a viewing drink so that my kaftan-clad (well, a bathrobe, but it’s fancy) self would be socially primed to watch the Southern Charmreunion the way it should be watched…channeling Patricia Altschul. I’m still upset with Andy Cohen for not stepping up the reunion game and bringing the final round to Charleston and out of the WWHL clubhouse. Next year, right?
The cast is prepping for the big night in New York City, and everyone is already anticipating a great deal of drama. Andy compliments Shepard “Sheppie” Rose on his mature and stylish attire and addresses Thomas Ravenel as “Senator,” although T-Rav claims to have no more future political aspirations. The host notes he stuck in the hot seat (and potentially in the line of physical fire) between Thomas and Kathryn Dennis before high-fiving Craig Conover. Enough with the pleasantries, Andy. This hour is going to fly by as it is!
Like y’all, I can’t understand why Bravo short-changes us on Southern Charm. Not an actual full season’s worth of episodes? The reunion at the WWHL clubhouse? This is a legitimate reality series, not the ugly, less popular sister of Below Deck (which I also love…don’t get me started on how slighted that crew is!)…why not treat it like one?
This is my favorite show because it’s the most real of the reality I see on a daily basis…that, and Patricia Altschul is my much better coiffed spirit animal. That said, can you believe the reunion is tonight? That final episode left us with a screeching Kathryn Dennis sprinting the deck of the Yorktown and the promise of a more balanced Craig Conover. In terms of closure, it wasn’t what we’d hoped! So, what do we know about the gang heading into tonight’s reunion?
So, it took me the entire second season of Southern Charm to realize that every episode begins with the Charmers waking up at their respective residences across the Lowcountry. Nice touch, Bravo! Last night’s finale begins the same way, but this time Craig Conover is bright-eyed and bushy tailed as he calls Cameran Eubanks and Shepard “Shep” Rose to tease them about their drunken antics the night before at Thomas Ravenel’s post-campaign party. Shep can’t remember his jovial speech (it’s hilarious), but he does recall Kathryn Dennis’ crazy behavior. Craig concedes that maybe he should just work on himself instead of trying to help new friends on the path to normalcy. It may be Craig’s most intelligent statement all season!
Across the peninsula, at Patricia Altshul’s mansion, she’s enlisted famed designer Mario Buatta to help her rejuvenate her parlor. Together, their projects have donned the pages of multiple Architectural Digests, and she trusts him to marry her decor visions of antiques, classic fabrics and textures, and mini collections of expensive limoges. Whitney Sudler-Smith arrives, and Mario teases him about his tight fitting pants (is that scotch tape or a zipper?), citing they look like a cheap hotel. A cheap hotel typically doesn’t have a ballroom. I am dying. Mrs. Pat defends her son, saying his trousers are undoubtedly expensive, but Mario’s humor isn’t lost on me. Whitney’s jeans don’t have room for his balls. Score one for Mario! An unfazed Whitney, relays Kathryn’s meltdown from the party as Mrs. Pat explains the backstory to Mario. For this former teacher, P. E. no longer stands for physical education.
Well, the finale of Southern Charm is in the can and all we have left are memories of scorned young women running in full-length fur coats and middle aged men [still] trying to get their lives together. In their Bravo blogs, Thomas Ravenel and Whitney Sudler-Smith reflect on the season, and on their roles in the drama.
For T-Rav, it was a season featuring his downward spiral, both politically and in his doomed relationship with Kathryn Dennis. On last night’s episode, Thomas says he was initially pleased to see Kathryn at Patricia Altschul’sWounded Warrior’s charity event, although things went south quickly. Thomas adds that he knew Kathryn would pull out all the stops to lure him back into an argument. “I knew she would summon all her womanly wiles to show up looking stunning, beautiful, and sexy…she knows how to capture the attention of a man. I know myself…I can easily buy into this flirtation and have it over take my willpower, clouding any good judgment a man might have about this situation.”
When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong. I know it wasn’t you who got Baby in trouble…and I was wrong thinking last week’s episode of Southern Charm was one for the books. Last night’s installment had it all! Dancing, conspiracies, that long-awaited “shameless strumpet” word bomb, and can we just dish on the ending for one moment? No bird has ever flown higher! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
The crew learns of Thomas Ravenel’s assault charges while they wreaking havoc on the croquet court. Great paté, but they’ll have to motor if they want to make it to dance lessons in time. Cameran Eubanks assumes that Kathryn Dennis will be motoring her sassy ass back to Charleston to publicly support T-Rav, and Craig Conover is thanking his lucky stars that something more pressing (and actually in the press) is diverting the attention away from his questionable decisions from the night before. The Charmers ponder how Kathryn will respond to the allegations, and Jennifer Snowden responds, “She doesn’t process things like an adult. It won’t really sink in with her the brevity of the situation.” It is a very brief situation indeed. The crew learns that T-Rav’s accuser is Kathryn’s best friend. A stylist by trade and an opportunist by nature, according to Cameran.
Remember the Joan Jett anthem, “I Hate Myself for Loving You?” Well, that’s my relationship with Southern Charm’sThomas Ravenel. As the show’s resident delusional political wannabe, over-the-hill baby daddy and strumpet-impregnator, T-Rav should be a laughing stock. But there’s something about him that keeps me waffling between disgust with his behavior and empathy for his “plight” (which, okay – yes, he squarely got himself into!).
In his latest Bravo blog, Thomas starts out by negatively commenting on Kathryn Dennis’decision to vacation on Jekyll Island instead of…what? Sitting in their depressing kitchen, waiting for T-Rav’s campaign manager to call to tell her to leave T-Rav alone some more!? When he found out Kathryn was leaving for a weekend away, Thomas says he “didn’t really know how to respond at first, but then I realized that I was disappointed and hurt. I needed support. I really needed support at that time.” Support in the form of waiting around all dang day in Target leggings while your baby daddy sleeps at a hotel 38 nights in a row! Hmmm. Thomas claims, however, he wasn’t surprised that Craig Conover was the main impetus for Kathryn going on the trip: “Knowing Craig’s recent choices anyone could see he wanted someone to party with and not judge him for it. Kathryn seemed to fit the bill.”
It was all about the hot mess express on Monday’s episode of Southern Charm, but the mode of transportation wasn’t a crazy train–instead it was a golf cart! After Kathryn Dennis went off on Whitney Sudler-Smith in a cyclone-esque storm of hate (one friend described it as “feral”), Craig Conover came to her rescue with more vino, keys to a battery operated tiny-car, and sticks and sand to generate body heat. It was, as you all recall, scandalous.
While Shepard “Shep” Rose had plenty to say about Craig’s recent tomfoolery during the group’s dinner on Jekyll Island, Cameran Eubanks has been the one talking it about it post-show. While some see her as a pot-stirrer, I honestly believe she cares for these turds, and she’s at her wits end trying to help them make good decisions. Of course, we all know that good decisions make for bad reality television. Thankfully for Bravo, there is no shortage of idiotic behavior when it comes to the charming cast!