Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was pretty boring. And by boring I mean tragic. And deafening. Gretchen Rossi tried to sing but she forgot to bring the big, pink plastic handbag holding her autotune with her. Oh the results were more tragic than a Made in Sweatshop plasticine Gretchen Christine handbag. Also plastic her face and now her lips. We'll discuss in a minute…
Moving on to other adventures in RHOC things, are still a mess betweenVicki Gunvalson and Brooks. And by a mess I mean Vicki's life and hair are sadly reflecting her inner life. Get a brush and comb things out. Seriously – get a smoothing serum too. And call Dr. V.
So let's begin… Gretchen has returned from Whistler and her friendship with Tamra Barney is as frozen and icy as her face. Did I mention her hair doesn't move either but it permanently looks wind swept? How? Mystery of science if I've ever seen one. Let's call Myth Busters!
So, Tamra Barney, who has been peddling the redemption storyline this season, was trying to convince us that she and Gretchen had really moved past seasons worth of hatred. But alas when the two got started with wedding wars, all hell broke loose!
The story goes that Gretchen and Slave Smiley were supposed to get engaged last season on TV and get a wedding spinoff/storyline. But Slave screwed up with all his child support woes and bad behavior that made fans detest him so Bravo conspired behind their backs and pawned the engagement storyline off on Tamra.
A few weeks agoBrooks Ayers tried to seek some attention and con Vicki Gunvalson back into loving him by spilling deets of their break-up on twitter. Vicki never actually confirmed or denied the relationship ending… until now!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star admits that her "love tank is empty" once again! “I‘m single now," Vickireveals to RadarOnline. "We have decided to remain friends but we have decided to move on and date other people.”
Perhaps Vicki's decision to end things with Brooks came after her business partner planned to sue her over one of Brooks' grifting schemes! “We came to the realization that it was harder to stay together than it was to be apart,” VIcki says of their relationship ending.
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County the battle in the blizzard continued. Vicki Gunvalson tried her darndest to ice out Lauri Peterson after she accused her of threesomes and cheating, but Lauri refused to be silenced. Until Vicki said she'd be her friend again; then Lauri perked up like someone handed her a latte and an AmEx.
Could it be that she thinks Vicki accepting her is her gateway drug back onto RHOC? Let's hope not unless she gets that wonky lip fixed. One would think Lauri froze her face to a -28 degree ice wall instead of Tamra Barney!
Things begin with Tamra, Vicki, and their eye makeup meeting for a pre-dinner pow-wow. Vicki is still reeling from her confrontation on the slopes and it obviously clouded her judgment because she was wearing an adults Muppet costume with furry sleeves. She boasted that they're removable, which is a good thing cause she can take them off for dinner so they don't dredge in her food. Fashion meet function, baby!
Last month Vicki Gunvalson was being sued for fraud by her business partner for Vicki's Vodka. According to the suit filed by Robert Williamson III. He claimed Vicki gifted 16% of the company to Brooks Ayers, who then sold that percentage back to him all while Vicki was claiming she and Robert were still 50-50 partners in the business.
Robert also alleged that Vicki was refusing to promote the company according to their agreement and was not living up to contractual obligations. Vicki denied all the accusations, called the suit frivolous, and threatened to counter sue. And then she dumped Brooks.
Yesterday the ladies squared off around Andy Cohen to scream, torture, and accuse each other while glammed to the hilt. I think the impossible costumes help keep them angry.
Heather Dubrow shared some photos of her reunion look on instagram. And Vicki Gunvalson had a little warning for nemesis Lauri Peterson, who of course made an appearance to defend her accusations. "It's go time @LaurifromRHOC !!"
Vicki summed up her experience with the following tweet:
I wonder if Brooks showed up? Or if they are still broken up?!
Having been on the show since the franchise's inception, we've seen Vicki go through many phases (and faces this season!) with her marriage, her kids, and her co-stars. In all that time, she has ALWAYS had something to say…and she usually gets the last word!