Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Baby Showers Gone Bad!

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta the husbands brought the catty as the wives instigated from afar. Kim had a wedding prequel in the form of her baby shower and Sheree started work on her new job building her dream house and I’m counting down the minutes until foreclosure.

Sheree arrives at the building site for Chateau Sheree to watch the demo of the original house built in 1975, practically before she was born. Really Sheree? Someone needs to check you, Boo! BTW: nice “workboots.” Poor Sheree tells us that overseeing the construction of her new home is so much work it’s like a another job – as if she needs one! Leaving all of us to wonder what exactly are Sheree’s other jobs? Being a Housewife? Divorce settlements? Sheree makes sure the contractor has her list of “necessities,” which include: a ballroom with skating rink, a DJ booth, a massage parlor and a library or liberry – even though she doesn’t read. Hopefully she can read the notices of foreclosure that I anticipate will be arriving shortly! Kidding, kidding… only sort of…


Phaedra’s beautiful son Ayden is now 11 months old and Phaedra adores him, but everything is not exactly blissful on the homefront. Apollo is in a crusty mood because he has recently been the subject of much gossip after he was seen getting pulled over and cuffed. It turned out to be a case of mistaken identity. Apollo is upset that he thought Phaedra was adding to the gossip by discussing the situation with others before hearing all the details from him. Poor Apollo doesn’t understand how Haterville, Atlanta gossip works! Phaedra explains that because of Apollo’s previous incarceration people assume the worst. What he does reflects on Phaedra, and since she is so important and amazing people want to associate with her, unfortunately. These two are definitely having some tempestuous times!

And speaking of tempestuous times, at Cynthia’s, Noelle’s father Leon arrives for a visit. Peter reveals he is opening a new bar, called Bar One and apparently this one will be successful. No one looks convinced. Cynthia will be hostessing or something, but it seems she did not put any money into the venture. Leon and Peter have an awkward convo about making amends with Cynthia’s mother and sister after they tried to sabotage the wedding. Peter makes it clear he has no intention of seeking their approval because he doesn’t bleeping care.

Sheree and Kim meet for lunch, but poor Sheree is unable to access the table because of rocks and 6 inch heels. Kim tells us she has been friends with Sheree for 10-years with only one smallish incident – you know the time Sheree snatched her tracks! Over lunch Kim reveals she doesn’t miss drinking, but will probably go back to it once she pops out Kroy Jr. Which is odd, because wine is like water to Kim – she needs it to survive! Kim informs Sheree of her plans to purchase a 17,000 square foot house – and Sheree looked a little sour grapes! The ladies also discuss how they cant live in “used houses.” They don’t want to live in someone else’s place but someone else’s husband is ok? Got it, Kim. Sheree then complains about having to descend from her penthouse condo to let the dog out. And back to reality please! Is anyone else wondering how on Earth Sheree is financing all of this luxury? She by Sheree is not paying these bills!

At NeNe’s, Brent is leaving for a weekend at his dad’s. Brent has LV luggage? Oh, I forgot – NeNe is rich, bitch. Anyways, Brent is upset about his parent’s separation and wishes they would get back together. NeNe hasn’t told Brent about the possibility of a divorce as she’s not sure she can actually sign the papers. Brent doesn’t enjoy going to Gregg’s because apparently he is boring since he doesn’t take Brent shopping all the time like NeNe does. Rich bitches have money to burn! Actually that entire scene between Gregg and NeNe was heartfelt and sad. I wish they could have worked things out. I’m guessing NeNe dumped ol’ Gregg because as she told Kandi, she wants a man with a good body.

Kandi and Phaedra go shopping for Kim’s shower, but ultimately decide to buy her gift at LV (I swear LV is sponsoring Housewives!) and get her some lipo, or something. Who else was giggling at Kandi’s reenactment of Kim vs. NeNe wars as she makes a stuffed moose attack a money with a wig. Hmmm… I wonder where she came up with those characters?

Over shopping the topic of conversation is Cynthia and an interview Peter gave where he said he didn’t like Phaedra! Kandi suggests he may have been offended over Phaedra’s comments last season about wanting a “clean” man! According to Phaedra, an opinion is like an anus – everybody has one! Phaedra claims she made those comments because she didn’t know Papa Smurf Uncle Ben Old Man In the Shoe Peter slept with everyone he met sans birth control and had a village of children!

It’s the day of Kroy’s baby shower. See, Kim is only having this over the top, elaborate pre-wedding for 130 people for Kroy, not herself. Kim is very appreciative that Kroy has a genuine connection with Brielle and Arianna and treats them like his own children. In the car Arianna is excited about Kim and Kroy having baby no. 2. Oh, lawd.

At the shower — and there is sooo much to say about this shower! Was Sweetie wearing a see-through blouse over a bra? Was there really a photobooth? Kim has displayed a butt-load of creepy dead doll looking photos of herself and Kroy and one incredibly bizarre family photo where she is wearing some sort of bikini top over her bump. It’s like a white trash post card for visit West Virigina (my home state!). Funnily enough, Phaedra “Pickles” Parks praised those pictures as “artistic!” Oh money certainly cannot buy you class, no matter how hard it tries!

Kandi arrives, telling us that she feels bad she hasn’t been around for Kim lately. Kim echos that, claiming she’s not sure why they drifted apart. It’s called Tardy For The Payment! Cause Kim certainly treated Kandi dirty with royalties for that little song Kandi wrote for her! Phaedra is shocked at Kim’s extravagant shower… and it is strikingly similar to the shower she had last year, the same shower Kim made fun of… Also, was Kim’s father propositioning Phaedra for a job? Ew.

Brielle stands up to make a toast for her mom and Kroy. Brielle tells the story of how Kim met Kroy and fell in love with his butt and told her daughter to Google it. And now Kim’s knocked up! Um… yikes! Kim is so inappropriate with her daughters. Otherwise it was a very sweet speech about how much she loves her mom and Kroy. Phaedra is not the only one who needs a strong drink after that! For the record, Kroy does seem wonderful.

Cynthia finally arrives to attend the last 20 minutes of the five hour baby shower! FIVE HOURS. Cynthia raced here straight from a modeling gig and apparently arrived present-less, which is not ok for Ms. Kim. Phaedra wonders if they came for the refreshments? Sounds plausible… Sheree is surprised NeNe let her puppy off the leash for the night – oh don’t worry Sheree she probably sent Cyn as a spy!

Peter tells everyone about the upcoming opening of Bar One. Kandi promises to be there with bells on, but good ol’ Phaedra mentions she won’t be invited because Peter doesn’t like her – referencing the interview he did for Uptown Magazine! Cynthia is shocked by Ms. Southern Belle’s poor timing and would prefer if this conversation take place privately. Um… agreed, but it’s an unintended side-effect of an open bar!

Sheree reveals she is not bothered by Peter’s comments about her being “not cute,” because she knows she’s cute and that’s a fact. A fact like NeNe is rich? Things that also aren’t cute, besides Sheree: borrowing money from your wife. Peter wants to know if the angry parties actually read the article and apparently Apollo has a lot of tension over the situation. Phaedra feels Peter should have told her husband about the problem Peter has with her because she is Apollo’s wife and that’s how things roll. Ok? Anyways…

Peter and Apollo start to tit-for-tat over who has a problem with whom and after arguing about who needs to get themselves together; Peter mentions Apollo is the one who was just pulled over! The men continue going back and froth about age and money and getting things right and then Peter tells Apollo to bring it! According to Apollo, Peter is too old. Then, they both jump up and start yelling. Kandi wisely steps in to remind the out-of-control men that there are police present! At a baby shower? Sheree explains the situation was all for show as Peter seems to be all bark and no bite, much like this very rich and toothless person she knows named NeNe.

Phaedra is relieved Apollo stood up for his wife and she is glad he didn’t beat Papa Smurf to a pulp, because he’s off parole now and well within grounds to do so! Wouldn’t that be considered elderly abuse? Phaedra pulls Apollo away to go take pictures with little sings that say “winning.” Could this shower be anymore like a bad wedding reception? Yes, it could be as Kim and Kroy cut the cake wedding-style and feed it to each other! Cynthia is embarrassed, mortified and humiliated by the argument between Peter and Apollo and departs without saying good-bye to the hostess.

Poor prego Kim missed the showdown while getting some fresh air. Her hubby-to-be stood idly by watching, letting the police do the dirty work. Kim needs to protect her moneymaker! Actually, I think Kroy handled things really well. When Kroy tells Kim what happened, she is furious; stating if she wasn’t pregnant she would have been there yelling and screaming. Who is she kidding? If she would have been in the room while this was happening she would have been over there yelling and screaming!

Next Week: NeNe accidentally has sex with Gregg! riDICKulous makes an appearance. Joyce and Kandi argue and Mallory and Peter have words about the wedding.

Watch What Happens Live: The guests are Cynthia and Keisha Knight Pulliam. And apparently Cynthia was once on The Cosby Show! Cynthia is supportive of Phaedra comparing Peter to Papa Smurf and Keisha points out that Uncle Ben is a very handsome man.

Andy rates Kim’s shower an 8 on the scale of 1 to Phaedra. Cynthia claims she was late to the shower because she was working and CONSIDERING that Kim brought her own wine — and enormous boobs — (but not a gift) to Cynthia’s wedding and claimed she and Peter wouldn’t last a year, Kim is lucky she came at all. Who says she doesn’t have a backbone!? Cynthia wishes Phaedra would have called to discuss her frustrations with the article. While she didn’t think Peter should have said those things, his frustrations stemmed from everyone’s comments about their wedding.

Keisha lives in Atlanta and has met all the Housewives. I wish Andy would have asked Keisha if she also thinks Atlanta is Haterville? Cynthia refuses to respond to Kim’s nasty tweet about her, claiming she doesn’t Twitter fight. A NeNe Leakes “I am Rich, Bitch” remix is debuted. Watch out TFTP! Cynthia claims she is definitely not kissing NeNe’s ass and she is not afraid of her. Keisha lets Cynthia know it’s ok if she is, since NeNe is a “big girl”

The Poll Question! Who is the hottest ATL man? A tie between Apollo and Kroy. Kroy would not get my vote! Sorry, Kim!