On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta it was all about roots. Phaedra decided to plan a cast trip to Africa so the ladies could learn about their ancestry and Kim and NeNe met face to face for the first time in months and decided it should probably be the last.

Things start out with Kim hauling her infant to the gun range. Safety first! Kroy has decided Kim should learn how to shoot and get a gun. I guess she sometimes has to deal with a rampant moose. At first Kim is nervous, but then she gets into being a pistol packin’ mama! Kim gets a pink 9mm and while she doesn’t love having a gun, she’s into getting something pink. Next I am sure she will wrangle a LV gun case.

Cynthia and Peter are meeting Apollo and Phaedra for a double date to work things out following the husband’s altercation at Kim’s babyshower. Phaedra declares it is a “powder in your panties” kinda day, basically a typical hot summer day in the south. God I love southern summers. And friction, what friction? Because everyone is getting along great.


Apollo’s career comes up and he is in “asset recover” which makes him a possible repo man until he will be consoling grieving widows at Phunerals By Phaedra. The couple discuss finding balance in their marriage and Apollo admits they fight. Proving things aren’t always hunky dory he shows off his battle scares – apparently Phaedra really is a vampire and she bites!

Cynthia for some odd reason asks about the age difference between Phaedra and Apollo. Apollo answers that he is 32. So how old is Phaedra? 38 it would appear. As everybody knows it is in bad taste to ask anyone their age. Particularly when said person is a woman over 30. Changing the subject, Phaedra reveals she is putting together a trip to South Africa and everyone is invited – so long as they have a vagina. Phaedra is planning on this being a peaceful trip, which frankly does not seem possible given the group. Cynthia, who has been to South Africa before, thinks it will be nice to have a break from Peter. So they’re happily married, aren’t they?

After lunch, Peter and Cynthia admit they had a great time getting to know Phaedra and Apollo. Cynthia immediately calls NeNe to check in and invites her on the Africa trip; which NeNe turns down citing she wouldn’t go to a trashcan with Phaedra!

NeNe has better things to do like pretend she is manipulating businessman John Kolaj with her “charms.” NeNe and John will be business partners on a new lounge. Well, John will do all the work and NeNe will hang out there talking about how busy she is. NeNe reveals she met John through The Donald and she refers to him as Mr. Big because of his deep pockets, of course!

In the business meeting, NeNe explains her aversion to putting her purse on the floor, because superstition dictates it will make you go broke. Is that what I’m doing wrong… is it possible that I have learned something from ATL? Thanks for the financial advice, my very rich friend NeNe.

Discussing what sort of establishment she would like to open, NeNe wants a lounge for rich people like herself. How is Peter going to feel about this new found competition? NeNe has misgivings about working with John’s project manager – citing latent trauma from her experiences on Celebrity Apprentice, but frankly I think she senses the project manager will not put up with her crap!

The theme will be dramatic, romantic, big, beautiful — just like NeNe herself, John points out! And the cost will be between $750,000 and $1.8M. Since NeNe doesn’t have that kind of money, no matter what she wants us to believe, John will be going halfsies with her (i.e. providing the financial backing). Or that’s what he thinks. Using her manipulative powers, NeNe informs him he will have 40% controlling interest. John agrees, likely thinking he’ll lose less money that way when the thing goes bankrupt.

NeNe explains their relationship as John adores her and she cannot control his affections. Frankly, he is like a little angel on her shoulder guiding her and gifting her to happiness and success. He better watch out for the chandelier earrings then! In order to celebrate their working relationship, John gifts NeNe with more Louboutins and continues checking her out. NeNe is fine with sexual harassment so long as expensive gifts are involved.

Kandi and Phaedra go to an African dance class together. Phaedra is confused about how Kandi can have no rhythm after all those Kandi Koated nights and seriously – she has NO rhythm! Phaedra on the other hand… donkey booty extraordinaire. Gosh, that looked so fun!

After class, Kandi reveals some information about new friend of Housewives, Marlo. Marlo, as we know, has quite the extensive history of grappling with the law. Kandi claims she knew something was amiss given how Marlo was so aggressive at Cynthia’s agency opening. Phaedra is a little frightened after learning the severity of Marlo’s past and I am sure regretting that she ever referred to this woman a socialite!

Kim visits her psychic. Awww… I love Rose. Rose warns Kim that she will get pregnant again, this time with a daughter who will be premature. She also lets Kim know that Kroy is her forever. Which makes Kim anxious because, hello, where is her ring!? Rose also reads Kroy and KJ’s palms and determines Kroy has a lot of anxiety, but things will work out. Kim explains she is very happy in her life and others are jealous of that happiness. I wonder whom she could be referring to?

Sheree and Phaedra are visiting an Africa history museum. In the midst of exploring history they are immediately distracted by a hot male mannequin in a loincloth, whom they feel up. Maybe for Sheree’s sake he’ll come to life a.k.a. Mannequin 2 (remember that 80’s movie!?). During the tour the ladies again return to the chained mannequins, who are described of being stripped of their clothing and held captive awaiting their trip to America to be sold into slavery. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed by their snickering about the hotness of the mannequin and Phaedra asking Jesus to keep her focused was a bit much. Phaedra warns the alarmed tour guide that she is a connoisseur of artistic nudity.

After the tour, Phaedra brings up the trip to SA and asks Sheree how she would feel about attending with NeNe? Silence… Sheree finally consents that she wouldn’t pass up the trip (which Bravo is forcing her to attend) because of NeNe. Phaedra, ever the optimist, hopes visiting another country can put an end to the high school squabbling and elevate this group of women to at least the college level. Keep dreaming!

Phaedra calls His Excellency, John the VP of Ghana, to warn him that they will be invading his continent. Apparently, he is difficult to contact since he’s like busy running a country! Is anyone else convinced it was a Bravo hired actor on the phone?

Kandi is hosting a dinner party for all the ladies. ALLLLL the ladies – meaning Kim and NeNe together, along with Mama Joyce. Kandi wants everyone to come together before Africa. Kandi might as well call this party the ladies vs. NeNe because both Sheree and Kim pointedly ignore her upon their arrival.

Mama Joyce almost immediately announces her intent — she wants the ladies to go back to the way things were before reality television ruined everything. Who cares about this side vs. that side over pettiness.

Ok, Mama Joyce is awesome and she needs to hosts the reunions or get her own show: Reality Therapy with Mama Joyce. She wants the ladies to think carefully if some low-budget fame was worth the loss of their former close friends inspiring silence from both Kim and NeNe for once!

Joyce demands Kim say hello to NeNe, and Kim tries to get around it but eventually relents. She also insists NeNe say hello to Kim and Sheree. Joyce explains the ladies are beautiful black women – even Kim – and part of a sisterhood that should remember how important they were to each other. Sheree mentions that they no longer have the desire to be close friends and that’s part of why the friendships have faded.

Kandi wants to discuss the trip to Africa and NeNe reveals she is not interested in going. This shocks Sheree who seems to think NeNe’s reasons for wanting to stay home have to do with travel anxiety and not travelmates. Sheree admonishes NeNe “get some damn culture” and get some stamps in her passport. Um… right, that’s a bit rich coming from Sheree!

Mama Joyce decides NeNe and Kim must be friends again and comes to the end of the table to administer a little couples counseling. In Joyce’s mind these two are merely separated and not yet divorced. NeNe explains that while she loves Joyce, she is out of control in this instance and perhaps she has been sipping some wine when no one was looking.

NeNe does not think Kim and her can ever reconnect and is not interested in talking about it. NeNe thinks too much has happened and there is simply no way to rebuild things. NeNe was well-spoken and polite in describing her feelings and I was very happy to see her approach this situation in a serious and adult fashion. Likewise for Kim.

Kim also agrees there is no way for them to be friends again and things have just ended, simple as that. Joyce advises the ladies to sit down and talk sometime one on one and try to figure out what happened. I wish Mama Joyce would have stepped in last season with these two!

NeNe admits it’s very sad that their friendship has ended, but she is never having anything to do with these ladies again. I am with MaMa Joyce they need to work things out and I really, really miss these two as friends. NeNe and Kim both decided to leave at that point, just about the time Mama Joyce discovers her drink actually has alcohol in it! Oops. Oh well, sometimes the truth needs to come out. These ladies need to get it together and let bygones be bygones or Bravo needs to recast. The show is boring with no one getting along or being true friends besides Phaedra and Kandi.

Kim is glad she came and loves Joyce, but doesn’t think Joyce understands the extent of Kim’s issues with NeNe. Kim, obviously, is over Sheree attacking her but perhaps she’s a two strikes you’re out girl!

Kandi wonders if there is a possibility for the ladies to work things out, which NeNe shoots down. Kandi is thankful everyone came nonetheless and thinks NeNe should go on the Africa trip. NeNe thinks her passport would get seized and she’d be stuck there. Kandi warns even if fighting happens, she’s staying out of it! NeNe is still thinking about it, but not promising anything!

Next Week: Marlo wants to go to Africa too! Kroy and Kim get emotional. NeNe decides to go to Africa – but forgot to tell everyone she invited ex-conn Marlo! Eeks.

Watch What Happens Live with NeNe and a whole lotta sequins! The bartender is a frankly frightening looking real-life Ms. Golden Globes. The drinking game word is: Kim.

NeNe straight up denies that John is her boyfriend! Andy compares the high collared interview blouses of Phaedra and Kim Richards, and I agree with NeNe that is a “don’t!” Andy reveals NeNe the Grouch. I’m frightened!

The dinner party is discussed and NeNe reveals she thinks Mama Joyce was out of line, because they’re adult women not children. NeNe wishes Joyce would have come to her for more details because she only knows some of what happened. Andy wants to know why they couldn’t just exchange pleasantries and be polite, instead of ignoring each other. NeNe is into growing and not staying the same, and claims Kim may have grown some, but is essentially still the same.

Andy comments that from what he’s observed, Kim has changed which NeNe disagrees with and cites all of Kim’s negative comments about her made on the episodes. NeNe is obviously still very emotional about the situation, despite not speaking to Kim in almost two years and it is clear this situation is not resolved! NeNe ends things saying she doesn’t need all the negativity!

NeNe plays Plead The Fifth next. NeNe admits she loves that Kim is fun. NeNe pleads the fifth on how much money she has and and pleads the sixth on the last time she hooked up with Gregg! Rose read Andy‘s plam via text photo and said Andy has a problem in the lower part of his body (not an exciting proclamation!) and he will live into his mid-eighties. Finally she says Andy will meet the person he will be with forever this year!!

Kelsey Grammer won a Golden Globe and announced he is having twins with new wife Kayte Walsh! Wow. NeNe plays Bam vs. Busted with Golden Globes fashions. NeNe gives Kyle some fashion tips and votes her a tentative and unconvincing “Bam!”

NeNe comments on Sheree‘s new single and hopes all the proceeds go towards building neverland. HA! Nene predicts Teresa will do well on Celebrity Apprentice because Teresa is a tough girl and The Donald likes that! NeNe refuses to answer how many shoes John has bought her. NeNe reveals South Africa was interested and she definitely went on the trip!

Poll Question: Should NeNe and Kim make up? NeNe votes an emphatic “no,” but the majority of fans disagree! Reunite Kim and NeNe! Dang I wish we could script all elements of reality TV!


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