Brandi Glanville blog

Brandi Glanville has had enough of the hypocrisy and the double standards on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So much so, she apparently traveled back in time and rewrote history to back up her never ending delusions.

“I am going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names,” blogged Brandi. “If you watch, you’ve already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.” I suggest y’all grab a drink and a snack for this mess.

Brandi compared the reactions to her “tossing an inch of wine” vs. Lisa Rinna “heaving broken glass at people’s faces.” “HORRIFIC – Tossing an inch of wine while ‘play acting soap opera’ was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave,” said Brandi, exaggerating. “It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.”


Brandi continued, “ACCEPTABLE – Reaching across a table to rip someone’s throat out with your nails, hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all, purposefully smashing a large wine glass as hard as you can in the direction of my and Kim’s face wasn’t discussed at all. Yep. It never happened. I didn’t dig glass out of my skin, out of my ear, spend hours in the shower trying to get shards out of my hair cutting my fingers, oh, and picking it out of my clothes, so it didn’t get in my children’s laundry later on. Notice they skate over it entirely, except to somehow shake their heads and blame Kim and me. Back at the hotel, Dr. Rinna declares us unhappy, instead of herself. That’s why she lost her mind when Kim hinted at her home life. Yep. Sure. Ok.”

Next, the reaction to Brandi threatening to knock out Kyle Richards‘ teeth vs. Kyle digging into Brandi’s arm and Lisa grabbing Kim Richards‘ throat.

“Hyperbole: HORRIFIC – Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ‘I will knock your teeth out’ (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the ‘ladies’ of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.”

“Violence: ACCEPTABLE – Real violence. Digging your fingers into someone’s arm to forcibly push them out of your way or grabbing for someone’s throat in anger isn’t worthy of being condemned by the same group. No mention at all. As a matter of fact, after they regrouped and arranged their group spin, it was Kim’s and my fault that Rinna is a crazy, violent person who throws dangerous broken glass in people’s faces. You women are over half a century old. Own your behavior.”

Brandi went on to compare her cursing vs. their cursing, her sex talk vs. their sex talk, and my personal favorite, her adult humor at Yolanda Foster‘s dinner party vs. their brawling at Yolanda’s dinner party in Amsterdam. “Adult humor at Yo’s dinner party by me: HORRIFIC – Get over it. I know Babyface, and he sang my joke! HA!”

Moving on, Brandi dropped the comparisons to share her take on the events in Amsterdam. Basically, Kim is innocent, Lisa Rinna is the devil, and Kyle is selfish. “Kim was a cold-steel assassin,” blogged Brandi. “She walked in like Eastwood, armed, silent, detached, and took her seat. Then she waited. Rinna could have talked about ANYTHING in the world, but as we all know, she has nothing else to talk about. Kim waited. It took about five minutes. Rinna turned her gaze on Kim and started her Dr. Rinna addiction sermon for the 100th time and BAM. ‘WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD?’ Glass houses, folks. That’s all I’m saying. Glass houses.”

Kim didn’t expose any of Rinna’s secrets. Kim only lets it be known that she COULD. All I’m saying is that if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t be trying to claw out someone’s throat, knocking chairs over, and breaking glasses at Yolanda’s dinner parties. Would you?”

Brandi took issue with the fact that Kyle didn’t ride in on CHANEL saddle with her CHANEL shield on her horse named CHANEL to protect poor Kim. Chanel fantasy, mine. Lost opportunity, Bravo’s. Annoying blog, still Brandi.

Kyle’s narcissism should be addressed, but I don’t have enough time,” Brandi said. “It’s a topic worthy of its own thesis. Me, my, and I are Kyle’s favorite three words. Special shout-out for not only failing to verbally defend your own sister but for not physically shielding your sister from physical, flying glass, or even waiting to see if she had been hurt. Self-preservation in action, folks. Special mention for crying about how Rinna’s crying affected you more than her. Kyle, you might be a narcissist if everything that happens to everyone else is about you.” Wait, no mention of the insults Kim had just spewed at Kyle?

Great blog. I’ll be sure to nominate it for the Pulitzer Prize. Filed under Fiction.


Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo


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