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Kelly Dodd blog

What’s the opposite of a Hooley? How about a Kelly! A Kelly Dodd to be exact. Or maybe it’s a Tamra Judge? I really don’t know but when you bring the Real Housewives Of Orange County to Ireland a phooey of a time is had by all.

Kelly went on a pub crawl that almost ended in a brawl because she says that Tamra hit her (hard) in the department store. “I was shocked, disappointed and concerned about Tamra’s aggressiveness to say the least.”

“When I signed up to be a Housewife, I knew that my life, my personality, my family, my marriage would be on public display. My life has been an open book through my friendships and social media long before I joined the Housewives,” says Kelly. “Obviously, the scale of exposure is completely different now. I am okay with that because I am who I am, an open, honest person.”

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That said, Kelly adds, “What I didn’t know when I became a Housewife is that my reputation and character would come under assault based upon reckless scheming, as it did at the ’70s party. I definitely didn’t know I would be subject to the rage of these women.”

The trip spiraling out of control is a shame because Kelly loves other cultures. “Learning the history of other countries and experiencing different cultures is important to me. So, when Meghan suggested we all go to Ireland, I was super excited.”

Kelly also believed the trip would be “a great chance to strengthen our bonds.”

Things did start out well. The flight was uneventful. The hotel was amazing. Everyone was getting along. The pub crawl was even a blast… at first. “We whooped it up, laughed a lot and drank too much,” reminisces Kelly. “Unfortunately, it turns out I was too optimistic.”

Since Kelly is currently in a detox to clear her mind, she knows all about the tricky turns alcohol can take. That feeling was in the air when she decided to do her infamous nose flick – AGAIN! “Quickly the initial euphoria of doing shots at the pubs wore off. While I was still in a great mood, I could tell that some of the ladies’ moods were changing. At one point, Vicki was spilling drinks on herself, so I pointed to her blouse and flicked her nose with my finger, just like I do Jolie. I thought it was funny, Vicki didn’t.”

“Why don’t these women get my humor?” complains Kelly. Hmm. Because it’s NOT FUNNY?! All the fighting with Tamra started over a miscommunication about Kelly’s humor, but then Tamra turned negative and aggressive. At least according to Kelly.

“That was the first time I felt Vicki react negatively to me. I was a little surprised,” admits Kelly. “Straight away, I could see Vicki and Tamra talking smack about me at the end of the bar and I didn’t appreciate it.”

“When Vicki and Tamra finished their bitch session, as Tamra headed to the restroom, I told her ‘keep walking’. I was joking,” Kelly insists.

The Real Housewives of Orange County newbie concedes “it wasn’t funny” but adds that Tamra‘s reaction “shocked” her. “She quickly turned around and confronted me. Her tone and puffed-up posture indicated to me she wanted to physically fight me. This was an indicator of things to come.”

Kelly Dodd blames Heather for escalating the situation when she “tried to take charge and confront me.”

Which led, according to Kelly, to yet another misunderstood joke! Listen lady, if no one – not no one – is getting your jokes, you aren’t funny!

Tamra and Heather told me that my silly kids joke took it to another level,” Kelly harrumphs. “In all my dealings with Heather she never seems to get my humor.” She meant only to tease Heather by saying Jewish people are usually funny, but, you know.

“I am sure I offended Heather and a lot of Jewish viewers and for that I am truly sorry. I meant it was a compliment, not an insult.”

However, what happened next was eye-opening for Kelly as she realized the extent of  Tamra’s shit-stirring.

Tamra started saying how she was always defending me and had kept my ‘secrets.’ I guess to stir the pot she claimed that I told her I had looked into Heather’s finances, but had kept that secret from Heather,” Kelly says. “You saw my reaction. Righteous indignation!!! How dare she create such a bold face lie to cause problems between Heather and I?”

“I cannot stand liars and react viscerally,” Kelly writes in her Bravo blog. “Tamra’s lying and bad intentions set me off.”

Kelly isn’t sure how a disintegrating pub crawl turned into a shopping trip, but it did. She also isn’t sure how Heather getting kicked out of said store was the worst thing that happened, but it was. Kelly’s definitely not sure how she wound up venting to Shannon Beador, but she did – and what a mistake! Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.

“When we left the pub I was still fuming over Tamra lying. As I was walking with Shannon on the way to the department store, I told Shannon ‘no wonder her daughter doesn’t talk to her!‘ I thought it was a private conversation with Shannon. I never meant to say that directly to Tamra to hurt her,” says Kelly in defense of her comment. “But, of course, Shannon couldn’t wait to run to Tamra in the store and tell her what I had said.”

“Talk about taking it to another level. Tamra was in a rage and physically hit me. She is a very strong woman and she hit me hard.”

“I understand why Tamra was so mad at me,” Kelly concedes. “Regardless, there is no justification for her hitting and threatening me. The whole experience traumatized me. I was in pain and didn’t sleep the well the rest of the trip.”

Is someone borrowing some of Vicki Gunvalson‘s exaggerations? I mean, just think if Kelly went to an Irish jail she could bemoan how none of the women visited her or brought casseroles. Or sweats! Since sweats are the new casseroles. And candles are the new champs!

Because the playing field is set at Kindergarten level: “I was proud of myself for not striking Tamra back to defend myself,” triumphs Kelly. “I had seen the show Locked Up Abroad and was not interested in seeing the inside of an Irish jail.”

“I thought it was unbelievable that Heather was more concerned about being asked to leave the store than the fact Tamra had hit me,” Kelly grouses. “I guess in Heather’s world, saying a few harsh words is worse than violence.”

She also stands by her decision to avoid dinner that night. “I could not imagine sitting at the same table with Tamra shortly after she threatened to kill me,” exclaims Kelly. “No way.”

There was one or two positives that came of the trip – like Kelly connected with Michael through her harrowing ordeal.

Also, Kelly learned stuff! (Like that she should buy a joke book?) “I learned a lot about myself and my ‘friends’ during our trip to Ireland. I also learned that (paraphrasing John Wooden), ‘The true test of a woman’s character is what she does when she thinks no one is watching.’”

When Kelly left for Ireland she needed some space – and not just ditching Michael at Costco space – yet she acknowledges, “when the s*** hits the fan Michael is always there for me.”

Michael understood what I was going through and helped calm my nerves. I wanted to leave Ireland right then. But, I decided to stay and make the most of it,” Kelly concludes. I’m sure the other women are eternally thankful for Michael’s intervention.

TELL US – IS TAMRA TO BLAME FOR THE ISSUES IN IRELAND? DID KELLY MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION IN STAYING?

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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