The Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Three Tequila…Floor!

The woman formerly known as Luann de Lesseps has come a long way from the countess we “met” watching Season 1 of Real Housewives of New York. She went from getting offended by Bethenny Frankel not referring to her as a countess in year one, to turning up, hooking up, and randomly getting married. Personally, I love this Luann 2.0 who isn’t afraid to down drinks and party it up.

I also have to declare that Luann D’Agostino falling into that bush during that cast trip to Mexico was hands down the best moment of this season. Sure, that wasn’t hard to do considering that this season is pretty “blah,” but that fall was instantly iconic and Luann is embracing it instead of being embarrassed.

In her Bravo blog post, Luann called out Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan for their bull shit antics with the room selection: “Of course, as soon as Ramona and Sonja left the car, it was ‘run for rooms, Mexico.’ Even after the lottery, Ramona and Sonja still put up a fuss about their rooms. Dorinda [Medley] is always so kind in these situations, and she was willing to move just to keep the peace, but I’m glad she stuck up for herself.”

You know this is a shit season when room selection was shown for half of an episode. Luann continued, “Tinsley [Mortimer] was very gracious to give her number to Bethenny who deserved a nice room for planning this trip. I loved it when Dorinda schooled Sonja and Ramona on how numbers one to five comes before six. They should have learned this back in kindergarten along with taking turns and being nice.” Or at least they should have learned something after watching season after season of acting like total brats during every single vacation.

Luann had a great sense of humor when it comes to that now-infamous fall: “Earlier in the day, I dove into the ocean and later that night, I dove into a shrub! I couldn’t stop laughing, and I was glad that one of the house staff came to fish me out. I guess my legendary hollow leg was full that night! I do have a reputation of being able to hold my liquor but by the second tumble over the ledge, it was time to pack it in for the night. Too funny!” This is the Luann that I live for: the woman who owns her shit and isn’t sorry for being fun. Let’s get more of this in the next few episodes.

The only actual drama from the episode was when Tinsley found out that there were “anonymous” reports about her being an ungrateful house guest. Luann theorized, “As for who planted the story about Tinsley in Page Six, anonymous sources are hard to track down. I love Sonja, but I also know that she isn’t shy about sharing her thoughts with the press. I’ve been the victim of her loose lips in the past, and I think it’s best that Tinsley move to a hotel when we get back.”

Luann ended the post with, “Until next week, one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!” which gives me hope for the next episode. I need more drunk Luann and less bickering about rooms and ordering around innocent resort staffers.