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Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave is shocked by Erika

That last episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had me feeling vicariously overwhelmed for Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave. Yes, she did manage to stir the pot by telling Lisa Rinna about some unflattering comments Dorit Kemsley made three months ago, but it really didn’t seem like pot stirring was her intention.

It came across like Teddi felt genuinely guilty keeping this to herself, it was killing her not to get it off her chest, and then she realized that all of those shit talking scenes were filmed and she would have to answer for them eventually. And then her tension with Dorit morphed into a tongue lashing from Erika Girardi. Teddi insinuated that Erika was lying when she told her she has “pretend amnesia.” I don’t blame Erika for being offended, but she channeled that Hong Kong freakout and came for Teddi- way too hard.

Watching the show, Teddi seems like a guppy in a sea of sharks, but she really bit back at her enemies in a Bravo blog post. She admitted, “Well, I lived that, and it was rougher to watch.”

And then she got into the back story, reminding us all of Dorit’s constant shit talking about Rinna earlier this season. She wrote, “Yes, I told Lisa Rinna something that Dorit had said three months prior at the time. In that moment, Rinna was talking about how great things had been with Dorit (since Vegas), and all I could think of was how many ‘warnings’ I had been given and about her personality disorders (schizophrenia and ‘rage and regret’). So I told Rinna, because I have a genuine connection with her and would have felt fake and inauthentic if I hadn’t. And if the roles were reversed, I would want the same. That said, I do regret it—it was selfish on my part; partly because I did it so I didn’t feel badly carrying it around. But the fact remains, this is a pattern with Dorit and bothers me.” Dorit’s pattern of behavior bothers everyone- on and off the show- but she is truly carrying this season on her back. If Dorit wasn’t offending people, twisting words, and carrying bones, there would be nothing to discuss this whole season.

RELATED: CAMILLE CALLS OUT DORIT ON TWITTER

Teddi shaded her enemies: “Speaking of accountability, Erika and Dorit make more cute comments about it/my job again this episode. Thing is, they couldn’t be my clients, because I only accept women who are able and willing to look at themselves truthfully. I assume the issue with this/me is that I’m holding up a mirror to the truth and it irritates them.” So obviously Teddi is not on great terms with the two of them these days.

Teddi joked, “So we’re at drinks, and of course it comes up, and I wish Kyle [Richards] would have gotten me a Hamilton ticket.” Kyle really lucked out skipping that dinner to enjoy the play with her daughter instead.

Then Teddi got back into the drama: “Suddenly I’m at fault for all of the shitty things Dorit said and it’s back to her comments on [Lisa] Vanderpump and how none of the other ladies thought it was bad (except Camille [Grammer], who I’m grateful admits as much). Erika thinks this is a perfect time to ask me how I am feeling in this friend group—it’s like a cat pouncing on a fly after it’s been smacked around and can’t get off the ground anymore.” Like I said before, I couldn’t help being vicariously overwhelmed for Teddi.

Teddi continued, “So I turn to Erika, recalling in NYC walking up those stairs when Erika said yes, she would be pissed if it were her. ‘Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. It’s possible.’ That is all I hear before saying she was ‘pretending full amnesia.'” I.e. telling Erika that she is lying and pretending to forget what she said.

Teddi wrote, “As you saw, she was triggered and unleashed on me. Look, I wasn’t raised to speak to people that way and so I was kinda shocked by her unnecessary anger. Even if I don’t like someone, I will treat them with respect and can be cordial.”

Teddi theorized, “I just feel like she’s just been waiting for the moment since we first met. She snapped at me in Vegas, she snapped at me at the beach house, she even corrected me when I called her a singer— something we’ve seen others call her to no effect. She’s done being nice to me? I must have missed when she started. It’s not in my nature to attack back on someone unhinged over the littlest thing, and so I disengage. But as you see me say to LVP— if she doesn’t remember, why is she so upset?” Because you said she lied and because you are right: she has never liked you and was just waiting for a moment to lash out.

There was even more for Teddi to recap from that disastrous lunch now that she has watched the episode: “As I rush off, Erika tells Dorit to ‘leave that.’ Not that I’d expect any less. She’s the same ‘friend”’who was earlier telling Dorit she shouldn’t care about Lisa Vanderpump’s attention/affection. But yet she would be pissed if she were in LVP’s shoes regarding Dorit? Why not just tell Dorit that rather than mock their relationship?”

Teddi continued to go in: “It seems like Erika is enjoying the rift between LVP and Dorit more than she lets on. Or she’s just not sure of how to function in a legitimate friendship that isn’t somebody telling her how amazing she is on a loop.” Shade thrown at Mikey Minden etc.

Teddi concluded, “Oh, and crybaby? Sure, I’m a woman with emotions, and I cried. It’s allowed. It’s natural. What’s not natural is for you to stop another woman from trying to comfort somebody who’s obviously upset. But all bow to Regina Jayne. I won’t be sitting at that table. I prefer genuine people and feelings over ice and diamonds.” Damn, she threw in a Mean Girls reference and she used Erika’s own tagline against her. If only she had this much vigor on screen. This would be a way more interesting season than we have been subjected to.

RELATED: Dorit Kemsley Thinks Lisa Vanderpump’s Friendship With Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave Is “Fleeting”; Says It’s A “Love Fest” With Camille Grammer After Their Twitter Feed

TELL US- DID TEDDI WAIT TOO LONG TO TELL RINNA WHAT DORIT SAID? IS TEDDI LVP’S NEW PET? DID TEDDI ACCUSE ERIKA OF LYING? DID ERIKA OVERREACT?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]