There were many unanswered questions when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills concluded Season 9. Literally though, the women refused to address almost anything remotely personal; i.e. lawsuits, plastic surgery, and finances.
The only that that was very clear is that Camille Grammer is on the outs with the RHOBH ladies. Sure, she got a long hug from latex-clad Lisa Rinna. But, other than that, bridesmaid Kyle Richards sided with Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave against Camille, which didn’t surprise Camille, since she declared that Teddi is “up Kyle’s ass.” Camille and Denise Richards’ had strong tension that came out of nowhere. And then there’s Erika Jayne, who doesn’t seem to care about
anything Camille at all. Camille was really marching into the lions den when she showed up to film, but it turns out she was already very much excluded before the reunion taping.
OH DORIT! We’re gathered here today, not to mourn, but to celebrate what once was. Dorit Kemsley fell into our laps on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills amid a flurry of strange accents and purchased hair. Dorit and husband PK wowed viewers with their fancy cars and upscale home. Their flashy European lifestyle and famous
30 years ago houseguests gave fans a glimpse into their jetset existence. Friends of legitimately rich Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd, the couple threw lavish parties, had designer wardrobes, and shared lessons in stirring the pot.
Then things got kind of sketchy. A slight hum on the rumor mill about the state of PK’s checkbook turned into a roar once his debt reached the million dollar mark. Gasp! How could this be? Dorit drives a rose-gold Bentley! As fear turned to reality, Dorit and PK did the only thing they could to throw the media off the scent of their
negative account balance financial issues. Let’s replace one scandal with an even bigger scandal! Legend has it, this is how #puppygate was born… And now, despite the denials and facade… The hours of deflecting and legal bills increasing… Now we’ve reached the denouement. Friends, it’s with a heavy heart I give you this news. Dorit and PK, once the flashiest new additions to the RHOBH family, did not actually purchase their new house. Let’s bow our heads and chuckle to ourselves offer thoughts and prayers.
Erika Jayne is an enigma… wrapped in spandex and 50 inches of hair. But isn’t that why we love the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blonde? Since viewers met Erika, we learned this is a women intent on making a statement. No matter what the occasion, Erika is definitely not getting her face done at the Clinique counter in Dillard’s.
Fans are very familiar with Erika’s Glam Squad. The
paid friends of Erika’s who live under her stairs create spectacular looks and are responsible for the image she maintains. The Squad travels with Erika in coach to such exotic locales as Dubai, Germany, and CVS. But don’t get it twisted, Erika’s collective of magicians don’t come cheap. It takes a village to maintain a dazzling facade and Tom Girardi Erika is willing to pay. Whether it’s a short wig or a ponytail higher than Mauricio Umansky in Hawaii Tom’s debt, Erika relies on her gaggle of men to set the tone. While some might balk at the extensive cost of not wearing Wet N Wild, Erika schools us on the necessity of being vain looking good.
Well, friends, it is that time again. It is time to start speculating over who will be staying, leaving, or joining the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast. “OG” Housewife Lisa Vanderpump ditched the Season 9 reunion, and quit the show, in the aftermath of “puppy gate.” I think it is fair to say that after last season, most viewers would like to see a cast shake-up.
Lisa Rinna was one of the stars who celebrated the fact that RHOBH would be down one Vanderpump. Rinna joined the show in Season 5 along with her bestie, fellow soap actress Eileen Davidson. Rinna has never been afraid to showcase her life for the cameras. Viewers learned that Rinna’s husband, Harry Hamlin, enjoys disappearing into the wilderness alone for fun. Rinna and Harry’s daughter, Amelia Gray, discussed her battle with anorexia on the show. That was truly an emotional moment.
Good news, everyone! We can finally rest easy, but it’s been a long haul. It’s difficult to determine the seconds of sleep we have lost during Dorit and PK Kemsley’s financial misadventures. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
potential inmate star has also been searching for her dignity a new home. Much to Dorit’s dismay, the news of her husband’s debts made mainstream headlines. But hey, this woman deserves a round of applause for the really super interesting storyline RHOBH forced on us last season. The dog at the center of Dorit’s failed adoption scandal has relocated and changed her name. Her new humans are prohibited from using the words “puppygate” and “kill shelter” in her presence.
Without the benefit of #puppygate as a shield, viewers are anxious to see what the ladies bring us next year. Most of the cast are facing court cases, as a result of their husband’s business dealings. Things seemed particularly bleak for Dorit and PK. They are the subject of multiple financial lawsuits and attempts to collect on a debt. Dorit’s bank account is colder than Erika Jayne’s attitude and she and PK have been required to reveal their assets. None of this has stopped the couple from living large. PK and Dorit have been jetting around Europe all summer and unabashedly flaunting their “wealth” on social media. Now they have made another huge purchase. As Boy George cowers in the corner somewhere, wondering if he’s ever going to get paid, the Kemsleys finally signed piece of paper without a court date attached to it.
We need some new ladies on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills… desperately. Tori Spelling has made it no secret that she’s down to join the show. She’s mentioned it every time she’s had the chance. Unfortunately for Tori, she was never actually asked. And she is both “sad” and “offended” about it.
Unlike the current cast members, Tori has no problem talking about her financial difficulties… or any other personal problems. Is she the hero we didn’t know we needed? The jury is out on that one, but Erika Jayne recently weighed in on the idea.
While the last Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season had more drama than the previous couple, it’s not as if there was a bevy of storylines- human storylines. I’m not even going to get into the Lucy drama that managed to eclipse the season.
However, new Housewife Denise Richards was a pleasure to watch. She could have given us more drama. That super random reunion tension with Camille Grammer doesn’t count since it made zero sense to me. She had some post-show social media beef with Lisa Vanderpump and John Sessa. However, for the most part, she provided some much-needed comic relief and a break from the glam squads. A casting change is needed. LVP is out. No one else wants to talk about anything remotely interesting. Lawsuits, plastic surgery, and faux finances are not on the table. We need a cast shake up. So will Denise be a one and done? Or will she return (hopefully with a bunch of new Housewives)?
Out of all the Real Housewives shows, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are the least open, by far. The show started out with the premise that even the wealthiest people can struggle in life. During Season 1, the cast members shared experiences infidelity, divorce, domestic violence, and substance abuse among other serious topics. Plus, there was a lot of lavish spending. It really was the perfectly balanced show. At first.
Now, each episode includes seven minutes of glam squad footage, arguments about puppies, and the refusal to talk about anything real, like plastic surgery or lawsuits. And there are a lot of lawsuits. Erika Jayne and her husband Tom Girardi have been sued for millions of dollars because of unpaid loans. To make the story even more salacious, the couple has been accused of using that money to fund their “lavish lifestyle.” It really makes you side eye the glam squad, two private plans, and in-house chapel, doesn’t it?