Man overboard!

Below Deck Recap: Men Down

On last night’s Below Deck, we met the replacements. Aka, the new third stew Laura Betancourt, and new deckhand Tyler Rowland. Laura and Kate Chastain are like oil and water from the very second of interaction. So that should go about as well as still having Caroline Bedol on board.

Finally, we saw the moment when Ashton Pienaar went overboard. But, in true Bravo fashion, after so much hype, it was tacked onto the very itty bitty end of the episode. We won’t really get to see it until next week. However, it looks like it’s partially Rhylee Gerber‘s fault! As you may know Rhylee does not follow the rules! Instead, she actually makes the rules, then changes the rules, and sometimes then breaks those rules too, but everyone will all bend to her will because her red hair is a magical whip of crazy what the f–k. Truly.

Regardless of what powers Rhylee thinks she possesses, Captain Lee Rosbach is immune. To him, Rhylee is a subordinate; i.e. the lowest ranked deckhand who better fall in line – or else. You know Rhylee thinks that she is partially responsible for Chandler Brooks getting fired – like her bad attitude and sassiness pushed him over the edge until he looked like an incompetent boob to Captain Lee. I mean he was incompetent with or without Rhylee, but I have a suspicion that she feels vindicated. And now her plan is, what? To take down Ross Inia next, then tick them off one by one until she is the last deckhand standing and will be blowing up every flamingo innertube with the hot air of her own hubris?

RELATED: Below Deck Crew Reacts To Chandler’s Firing; Kate Chastain Claims She Told Captain Lee Rosbach To Fire Chandler Brooks

Unfortunately, Captain Lee catches on to Rhylee’s evil plan when he overhears her on the radio telling Ross “I have things to do too.” Right away, Lee pulls Ross onto the bridge for a lesson in how to manage difficult people. I.e. They’re not allowed to be difficult “This is not some backwoods f–king tugboat,” he reminds Ross, (SHAAAADE at Rhylee’s fishing vessel) adding that the only thing Rhylee has to do is whatever Ross tells her to do! Bam.

Ross, ever the professional – at least thus far –  promises that he will speak with Rhylee about her “aggressive attitude,” but until she has another outburst he sticks to complaining to Ashton.

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After a day of chasing waterfalls, the guests want comfort food for dinner. Except “comfort food” is not really what Adrian Martin does. He decides to put a “French flair” on classics such as lobster mac and cheese and cheeseburgers. And the dinner … it was… just no. I mean, dude, recognize that American food can be amazing too! It’s not an insult to be asked to pay culinary homage to red, white, and blue!

To Adrian’s face, the guests pretend to like dinner, but they go to bed dreaming of McDonald’s. At least they’re able to go to bed though! After tarring and feathering Catherine, then chasing her from the ship clutching the molting remains of her sanity, Josiah Carter and Kate find themselves with way, WAY too much to do. Like round the clock laundry and a million bottles of Champagne on the wall… Well, you reap what you sow.

Below Deck Recap: Men Down

Kate is even too busy to make the guests happy! She turns down lead charter Shannon’s invitation to play with some moonlight water toys by pretending she doesn’t know how to swim. Which leads to some very, VERY confused glances… like what if Kate falls overboard? Is shading the guests really a good idea? Or is Kate just tired, drained, living off Hot Cheetos, and therefore, not thinking clearly? Is she too walking on the air of saintly vindication after Caroline fled sobbing into the night?

Ross and Adrian decide to take advantage of the opportunity instead. Everyone wears their clothes, but puts on light-up goggles, and it was a blast. Yay for midnight fun! I was hoping Ross would have left every water toy for Rhylee to clean up alone since she wants more responsibility and all!

RELATED: Below Deck Aftershow: The Crew Breaks Down Chandler Brooks’ Latest Incident

In an effort to try and work with Rhylee instead of constantly putting her in timeout like the mental toddler she is Ross gives her more responsibility. Rhylee takes this as a sign that talking back to her boss has paid off. This girl… Hasn’t Ross heard of Pavlov’s dogs?

By the last morning of the charter, still two crew members down, everyone is exhausted. So much so that Josiah has stopped even bothering to gel and brush his hair. The guests haven’t noticed as they muse about what a special trip this was. Well, that is the mark of true professionalism! There is a new stew on the way. It almost seems as if Kate doesn’t really want her, seeing as she and Josiah are sharing a brain, and now also a matching unkempt hairstyle.

The new steward, Laura seems too good to be true. Like why would she want to be a third stew other than being on TV? She boasts an impressive resume (did she have a friend exaggerate it for her?). She was previously a chief stew on a same-sized vessel, she’s Canadian, a yoga teacher, and she’s very, VERY perky. Kate decides she should room with Adrian because they have fake namaste in common. I have a feeling a power struggle will erupt between Laura and Kate in about, oh, 2.5 seconds, because Laura is very opinionated right off the jump. She complained about everything including the condition of the cabins, the decor of the yacht, the cleaning standards, the uniforms… “I think she’s so f–king annoying,” Kate immediately whines to Josiah. And they thought Caroline was bad… the grass is always greener, bitches.

RELATED: Below Deck’s Captain Lee Rosbach Says Chandler Brooks’ Antics Are “Wearing Thin”; Doesn’t Think Yachting Is A Good Fit For Caroline Bedol

Laura’s outgoing personality also has all the guys literally drooling, then mixing their drool with tequila in a cocktail shaker. Suddenly, Rhylee feels left out and abandoned as she mourns being the hot girl on deck. Well to Ross, and his beer goggles, she’s still the only fish in the sea!

Instead of the customary post-charter night out, Captain Lee rewards the crew with a day on the island, which means everyone gets a great opportunity to get to know Laura better. For Kate, this is a disadvantage. Josiah isn’t allowed to like Laura either as he follows Kate around, floppily haired all the time now, like her little lackey.

Competing with Ashton for Laura’s affections is not bringing out the zen in Adrian. In front of Laura, he keeps hinting that Ashton sleeps around and mocks his style with women as “octa-snake.” Why does that also sound like an entree Adrian would serve to pretentious guests, waxing poetic about how it’s also infused with cockroach oil and is a product of his finest French culinary training?

Below Deck Recap: Men Down

Adrian is obviously extremely jealous about how forward Ashton is. He snipes at every move Ashton makes towards Laura. Despite leading Ashton on, Laura tells Adrian that Ashton has no chance with her, but then back on board she gets in the hot tub with him to talk relationships over beers. As Kate warned, “Don’t believe anything she says.”

RELATED: Below Deck Star Kate Chastain Upset Captain Lee Questioned Her After Caroline Bedol Quit; Shades Rhylee Gerber

Laura’s over-eager beaver – personality you dirty minds! – pretty much destroys Kate’s day off. She just wants to relax and be served drinks. Instead, she is practically listening to the audiobook of Laura’s biography, as narrated by Laura, with premium extras all about Laura’s preferences and dislikes. Kate doesn’t bother hiding her annoyance.

Below Deck Recap: Men Down

Um, was Laura’s thong bikini a little much for the first outing with new co-workers? Or am I an old-fashioned prude? Laura has brought the sexual energy to this group and is awakening a one-eyed beast that certainly should’ve stayed asleep. Asleep –  not sleeping with their crewmates. Ross suddenly finds himself making out with Rhylee. It’s just a brief kiss, but the next morning Ross clearly regrets it and wants to forget it ever happened, while Rhylee is running around telling everyone! “Hate is the first sign of love,” Josiah jokes.

Just before the oncoming charter, new deckhand Tyler shows up. He’s a veteran sailor who admits he’s switching to yachting for the money. He also seems to have the IQ of Laura’s thong. Which is just perfect for his roommate Rhylee, who thinks he’s hot, and probably also manipulatable. Also now Rhylee is not the lowest person on the totem pole! Tyler actually seems perfect for Rhylee too. He’s an adrenaline junkie and wilderness firefighter. Captain Lee has a good feeling about him because sailing is a lot more work than yachting. Ross immediately notices that Tyler takes direction well. Unlike a certain other deckhand…

RELATED: Below Deck Star Captain Lee Rosbach Calls Out Rhylee Gerber For “Being Aggressive”; Believes Kate Chastain Over Caroline

About 10 minutes before the charter guests arrive, Ms. Perfect Laura gives Kate 50 shades of Caroline when she drops an entire tray of champagne flutes! At least Laura was wearing slippers so the potential for incurable foot infections due to glass shards is out. Right? Instead of owning her mistake, Laura blames the cloth on the tray for being “lumpy” because it wasn’t ironed thus causing the flutes to sit funny. Um, Josiah is a PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED BUTLER, do you really think Mr. White Gloves would let that fly? Unless his standards have slipped under Kate’s tutelage…

The new charter primary is Brandy Cauffey who brought her crew of wild, tequila-loving girlfriends. And finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: MAAAAAN OVERBOARD! I’m not exactly sure what happened, but it seemed like Ross directed Tyler and Rhylee to do something with certain lines, but they weren’t organized, so one of the unwatched tow lines got wrapped around Ashton’s foot pulling him right of the end of the boat. It’s like being on a slip and slide, practically between Rhylee’s legs – somewhere he probably very much wants that to happen, but in different circumstances! But Rhylee reacts fast. I will give her that and she immediately radios for help.

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[Photo Credits: Bravo]