Sure, Real Housewives Of Dallas could use some tweaking – like please no more Brandi Redmond vs. LeeAnne Locken feuds dominating every season Whew! We have had enough! Having LeeAnne and Brandi become BFF would be totally insincere and producer-driven. I’d like to see them settle into an acquaintanceship where they can have fun together socially (or at least be civil) and leave it at that.
I’d also love to see D’Andra Simmons go back in time and recognize it’s a wig she’s wearing on her head, not a crown, so there is no need to start petty drama with LeeAnne! Those two are much better as friends. They balance each other and have a great dynamic. This season D’Andra got too big for her britches and LeeAnne’s britches already have L’infinity egos.
Ashton went off the back of the swim platform after stepping into a tow line which wrapped around his ankle. It was exactly like a movie, but this was actual reality and Bravo editing magic had nothing to do with the events! As Captain Lee Rosbach explained while choking up, Ashton was “within 30 seconds” of losing his life, or at the very least his foot!
The most surprising revelation, however, was that Ashton owes his life (and the continuation of his defined tricep muscles) to the rapid reaction of a Below Deck cameraman named Brent. He literally threw down his camera, raced to the side of the boat, and untangled the lines to give Ashton more time, which set him free to swim to the tender to wait until they were in safer water to bring him in! Maybe Brent should be bosun. Something tells me Rhylee Gerber wouldn’t be talking to him with a nasty attitude!
Noelle Robinson is about to leave for Howard University to study dentistry. Since Cynthia Bailey has never even played a college kid on TV, she has no idea what to expect. Like should she teach Noelle about how to handle her liquor now, before she leaves to school by giving her brunch cocktails? Should she cut Noelle’s food, and open her juice boxes, and make sure she’s buckled into her car seat? Should she go to college too and live in the apartments next to the dorm? Or IN the dorm?! Can Mike Hill stay over in said dorm? So many worries!
The ladies of Real Housewives Of Dallas entered the ring with their guns blazing, their stilettos sharpened like razors, and their eyes shooting daggers through the 64 layers of wet look eyeshadow. Their dresses are designed to blind, confuse, and kill as all the sequins reflect off everyone’s egos causing insanity.
I actually think Andy Cohen was on fire last night and was a great moderator; pushing back against the nastiness and crap.
This reunion is all about D’Andra Simmons, and her feuds with literally everyone. Which is apt because the very first thing that was discussed was Beaver Creek and the fight D’Andra had with LeeAnne Locken over who is the queen of Real Housewives Of Dallas.
On last night’s Below Deck, we met the replacements. Aka, the new third stew Laura Betancourt, and new deckhand Tyler Rowland. Laura and Kate Chastain are like oil and water from the very second of interaction. So that should go about as well as still having Caroline Bedol on board.
Finally, we saw the moment when Ashton Pienaarwent overboard. But, in true Bravo fashion, after so much hype, it was tacked onto the very itty bitty end of the episode. We won’t really get to see it until next week. However, it looks like it’s partially Rhylee Gerber‘s fault! As you may know Rhylee does not follow the rules! Instead, she actually makes the rules, then changes the rules, and sometimes then breaks those rules too, but everyone will all bend to her will because her red hair is a magical whip of crazy what the f–k. Truly.
It’s Dennis McKinley‘s turn to be in the hot seat and meet Porsha’s mom. They get together at his hookah lounge CRU, which makes perfect sense since Diane doesn’t like the smell of hookah.”Between hookah, hair, and hot dogs, there’s not one other word that begins with ‘H’ that could describe my Dennis,” Porsha brags. Dennis, who doesn’t have hair, but does have the delightful distinction of looking hot dog-esque (sans the ‘hot’ part). Aren’t hookah lounges passe – just like visible panty lines, which Porsha, unfortunately, has in those way too tight jeggings.
It was a double-dose of Survivor this week. That means not one but two players were sent to jury. Alec’s exit was fairly straight-forward. In contrast, Carl became the first blindsided member of the beloved David alliance. This set the stage for the rest of the season (just two episodes left before the two-hour Finale on Dec. 19th!).
Did you miss any of the action? Get caught up with our Episode 10 and 11 Recap, as well as checking out the Podcast below.
I just don’t even know where to begin. Who provoked whom, who started what, who did such and such illegal thing… Brandi and LeeAnne are a two-headed snake biting its own tail after getting confused by all the excess weave hair in their faces. They should just go to couples therapy and be done with it. I can’t pick a winner or a loser here. Well, I can pick a winner, but it’s Stephanie Hollman. Stephanie ‘PH–king’ Hollman.
However, so many good things did happen for the ladies of Dallas last night! Stephanie bought a foam machine. LeeAnne picked a date and wedding location. D’Andra Simmons got a company. Woot!