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Joy to the world – Summer House recaps are here! We know, we know… we’re starting these recaps a little late this year but better late than never right? We start off episode 7 of Summer House where we left off last week with the crew congregating at home after the St. Bart’s party. Everyone drank a little too much Whispering Angel (don’t they always?) and they all hit the hay right away. Despite his best efforts, Carl Radke and Paige DeSorbo are still going to bed separately. Carl 3.0 isn’t getting as lucky as he did in Season 1 and 2. Maybe his charm only works on Lauren Wirkus?

The morning after scenes are some of the best – those Big Brother type cameras always get the most candid moments like when Amanda Batula makes a “joke” about Kyle Cooke not lasting long. Reason #100 why we love Amanda and her sass. Speaking of Amanda, she and Kyle are biting the bullet and moving in. Kyle breaks the news they owe 22 THOUSAND DOLLARS before they move in. For many, that is more than the price of a new car but that’s NYC real estate for ya. After Amanda thinks about the 11k she owes, she suggests to the group that they should have a joint “Christmas in July” birthday party for Amanda and Jordan Verroi‘s next weekend. There’s nothing this group loves more than a theme party.

We head back to the city to follow these city slickers around during the week. Kyle is not only wiring money to his real estate broker (I’m biased but I hope Steve Gold got that deal), he is also investing 12k into his new business venture so it makes sense why he’s giving Amanda some picture frames to put up in their new apartment for her birthday. Gotta save $$ somewhere.

He enlists Linsday Hubbard to help him put the photos in the frames (totally a 2 person job) and they discuss his move in with Amanda. This is a perfect moment for Lindsay to compare their relationship to her and Everett Weston (for like the 15th time this season). We need her to take action at this point and not bring him up at every chance she gets.

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Elsewhere in the city, Paige and Hannah Berner are shopping for their Secret Santa gifts. They decide to hit up a sex shop; these girls are becoming more and more relatable as the episodes go on. The girls discuss the Carl/Paige situation and how Carl is all over Paige on the weekends but goes radio silent during the week. I agree with Paige. If you want a girl, you can’t only try to woo her on the weekends. Try harder Carl – like Lauren before her, Paige is a prize!

Back in the Hamptons, it’s Christmas Eve and decorating for Christmas in July is underway when Carl claims he HATES CHRISTMAS? That’s a deal breaker for me since I play Christmas music all year round but maybe I’m the weird one? Most likely Carl isn’t a serial killer and is actually just grumpy because Paige invited a guy to the party while on the drive out to the Hamptons and he can’t deal.

It seems like Carl is going to be the Grinch of the weekend and Christmas hasn’t even started yet. I do have to give this house credit. When they commit to a theme party, they COMMIT and go all out for the decor. Between the lights, the tree & the sugar cookies, I’m inspired to throw my own Christmas in July party this summer.

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Everyone is setting up for the party except for Paige and Danielle Olivera who decide to bail and go get facials for some #selfcare. We are reminded that Danielle used to date Carl (how?) and these two realize they may have the same taste in guys. They make a pact that if they’re both interested in the same guy, they’ll tell each other right away. Feels like this is some major foreshadowing for their upcoming party.

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Most Christmas parties have people dressed in ugly sweaters but this is the Hamptons in July so red swimsuits, muscle tees & short shorts are the chosen attire for today. Before the guests arrive, the housemates exchange Secret Santa presents. Some sex toys, champagne bongs, dating books are given but Paiges’ gift takes the cake (or should we say cookie). She gives Amanda a key to her apartment for when she gets sick of Kyle. I Stan a passive aggressive BFF and Paige killed it. Then Kyle gives Amanda her birthday present and it’s a bit more sentimental than I thought soooo fine, it’s cute! A framed photo of their first snap together to hang in their new apartment together – Kyle is growing up in front of our eyes & I for one am proud!

FINALLY – IT’S PARTY TIME! Hannah‘s boy toy Dave arrives with Max, the guy Paige invited earlier in the episode. Carl is too busy chatting upstairs with Jordan to know someone may be moving in on his girl. Jordan is telling Carl how he’s the most eligible guy on a dating app. Kyle overhears and thankfully puts him in this place. Seven episodes in and we’re still not a fan of Jordan – time will only tell if he wins us over.

Never one to not fully commit to a theme party, Kyle starts the bubble machine and this party basically turns into a gigantic foam party. The drinks are flowing and Carl is getting antsy thinking Paige is slipping away so he does want every normal guy does. He gets a piece of cake to do a “cake-out” aka what Lauren did to him last season. It didn’t go over well. She was mostly annoyed he got cake on her perfectly made up face.

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Carl, annoyed that he is not getting what he wants, vents to Lindsay about how Paige is leading him on… the irony of that is not lost on ANY OF US, Carl. Lindsay says that how Paige is treating Carl is how Everett treated her (drink every time she says Everett) and the best way to retaliate is to ice her out.

Unfortunately for Carl, Amanda and Paige hear their entire conversation. Paige can do better than Carl. Despite what he claims. Plus, I’m confident she can out ice him all day, every day.

Next week, Kyle looks at engagement rings. Paige tells Carl she overheard him at the Christmas in July party. Lindsay finds out Kyle made out with another girl.. again.

TELL US- TEAM CARL OR TEAM PAIGE? WOULD YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THE SUMMER HOUSE CAST?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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