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Kasey Cohen

Below Deck Reunion

Last night was the Below Deck Mediterranean reunion, and Captain Sandy Yawn wants us all to know she wore her boss pants. Joao Franco, on the other hand, wore a diaper.

The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?

Below Deck Mediterranean Reunion

Tonight we say farewell to our favorite yacht crew as another season comes to a close. The Below Deck Mediterranean reunion is tonight and we can’t wait to rehash the drama and love triangles of the season!

In the preview clips released, Captain Sandy Yawn gets candid with Conrad Empson, scolding him for his many, many cigarette breaks and his preoccupation with Hannah Ferrier. She even lets him know that she doesn’t see him making it in this line of work. Ouch!

Below Deck Mediterranean season 3 finale

It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!

The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…

Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,”  but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know! 

Hannah Ferrier

I don’t know where Below Deck Mediterranean would be without Hannah Ferrier. No, I’m not talking about her performance as a member of the yacht crew, but she is really carrying this show on her back. She has drama with almost every cast member episode after episode. She’s the only original cast member who is still on this show. She really is the MVP of Below Deck Med in an unconventional way.

As expected, there is even more Hannah-instigated drama in tonight’s season finale episode. According to the episode description on the Bravo website, “Hannah picks a fight with Joao [Franco] and Brooke [Laughton], causing the mild mannered Brooke to fight back.” Brooke snapping back at Hannah has been a long time coming.”

Brooke Laughton

It’s the last charter for Below Deck Mediterranean and the guests are literally a coma, luckily all crew relationships are exploding like a fireworks display.

Hannah Ferrier and Conrad Empson are FINALLY  breaking up – and this is only because Conrad tired of her toxic, immature dramas. “This is not going to work. If you argue every day what’s the point in being there. You’re not happy. I’m done,” he decides, before telling Hannah that Prague, and all its glories as a couples trip, is not happening.

This is what truly enrages Hannah – that she cannot manipulate Conrad into staying with her through the trip. He asserts to think about it but his eyes already focused on the future horizon, populated with women his own age, looking to have fun and not use him as a baby bait to make older, established men feel bad for her.

More Relationship Drama On Below Deck Mediterranean Tonight

It never seems like a good idea to date someone where you work, but it does happen a lot, especially on Below Deck Mediterranean. There are so many obvious complications that can arise with dating someone you work with and live with on a boat. But here’s the thing: these are the crew members’ only real options. Otherwise, they end up in these long distance relationships trying to FaceTime with poor cellular reception.

With all of that said, it’s really not surprising that Hannah Ferrier and Conrad Empson gave it a go and tried dating. It’s also not surprising that working together, living together, and hanging out with each other for months was not the best start to a new relationship and they ended things. They may have broke away from their relationship, but they are not done with the relationship drama, not by a long shot.

Brooke Laughton

Hannah Ferrier finally learned the definition of work on last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean. Unfortunately, it was all for show. In other news all our happy couples are unhappy!

Whoever declared that you should never go to bed angry, obviously didn’t live and work on a yacht with Hannah. After Brooke Laughton confronts her about all the liberties she takes with her job, leaving Brooke and even Kasey Cohen to pick up her slack, Hannah responds by storming off, leaving Brooke to finish the dinner clearing up.

A bit later when Hannah is skulking around, trying to spy on Brooke and hoping to catch her talking shit to Jaoa Franco (or slacking at her job), she instead finds her being consoled by Conrad Empson! Karma!

New Episode Of Below Deck Mediterranean Tonight: More Relationship Drama For Hannah & Conrad

Are all yacht crews dramatic or do the reality TV cameras just elevate the situation? It just seems like there is always something brewing between the Below Deck Mediterranean cast members and it’s not just dealing with demanding charter guests.

Everyone thinks they are the HBIC on this boat and has no qualms exerting their (perceived) authority over others. And then there’s the romances. The sea isn’t the only thing that’s rocky. The relationships on this show are so up and down.