On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, Porsha Williams relationship continued to be THE word on the street. Kandi Burrus found herself in hot water for running her mouth. Also, NeNe Leakes got some bad news about Gregg’s health.
It’s Dennis McKinley‘s turn to be in the hot seat and meet Porsha’s mom. They get together at his hookah lounge CRU, which makes perfect sense since Diane doesn’t like the smell of hookah.”Between hookah, hair, and hot dogs, there’s not one other word that begins with ‘H’ that could describe my Dennis,” Porsha brags. Dennis, who doesn’t have hair, but does have the delightful distinction of looking hot dog-esque (sans the ‘hot’ part). Aren’t hookah lounges passe – just like visible panty lines, which Porsha, unfortunately, has in those way too tight jeggings.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta we got intimate with Shamari DeVoe. Porsha Williams met Dennis McKinley‘s mom, and it went… like a dumpster fire.
If only Kandi Burrus would listen to an expert – her daughter Riley Burruss – she might not be visiting Dr. Jackie Walters to inquire about how to bring more Tucker Tots into the universe.
Since Kandi had fibroids and a high-risk pregnancy with Ace, she and Todd Tucker are considering a surrogate (or two!) to make babies out of their two remaining embryos. Until they learn surrogates – the good ones who aren’t hanging in the hood – cost $100k per uterine rental, and Todd might not even get to rub their bellies. At least Todd realizes he better get to work at the OLG instead of just sampling fried chicken and cocktails while talking about work.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta we met new Housewife Shamari DeVoe, and she is um, extra excited about being Mrs. DeVoe and about her great wonderful amazing life. Also, Eva Marcille seems to have some postpartum infection of shadiness that may be crossing the line!
Eva works at Dish Nation (was I supposed to know this?) where she became friends with Porsha Williams. She just doesn’t understand how anyone couldn’t love Porsha! Um, Eva, get back to us when she spreads rumors about your marriage and accuses you of planning to drug and rape her, or drags you across a reunion stage by your extensions.
So far everyone is getting along on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, and it’s super nice. There’s a genuine energy to the show this season, as if the women are making a concerted effort to put the negativity behind them. Perhaps supporting NeNe Leakes has brought them together… But for how long? This is Real Housewives of Atlanta, after all. The peace won’t last for too long.
I do hope y’all are buckled up this season because Porsha Williams is already driving us crazy with the ‘Dennis this… ; Dennis that… Did you know Dennis uses the most perfect toothbrush ever. Those bristles were too soft; my bristles were too hard, but Dennis’s bristles are just right!
Last night’s season premiere of Real Housewives of Atlanta was all about Porsha Williams turning right instead of left and finding Prince Charming – aka The Hot Dog King Of Atlanta, and hopefully getting a big ol diamond ring out of it. HINT, MEGA-HINT, HINT.
As we alll know Porsha is dating Dennis, who owns several clubs in addition to The Original Hotdog Factory. “Everybody loves hot dogs!” Porsha cheers, “Especially me!” And Dennis’s wienie in particular. Porsha met Dennis at one of his clubs, then went home with him. Porsha and Dennis’s one-night stand has now turned into ring shopping. He apparently told her he loved her the first night they met. “It just feels natural and we just went with it,” she gushes.
Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta celebrated their 10 year anniversary by counting down their top ten moments. I cannot believe that I’ve had NeNe Leakes in my life longer than I’ve had my children in my life, but the Bravo universe is vast and all-encompassing!
I was expecting the Real Housewives themselves to weigh in on all the past drama and spill some behind-the-scenes secrets, similar to when other cities have done an anniversary. I was also expecting to get catch-ups from retired cast members like DeShawn Snow or Kim Fields, but instead we were just handed a ton of flashback footage to reminisce over. There were weddings, breakdowns (often those two things combined), walk-offs, shade wars, and vintage footage of Wigs with her Cigs.
Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion ended with Porsha Williams playing devil’s advocate, NeNe Leakes slamming metaphorical doors, Kim Zolicak trying to blame Andy Cohen as the reason that no one likes her, and Kenya Moore pretending she hadn’t just asked for a cocktail despite being pregnant. Good times, y’all, good times…
It’s fair to say that it wasn’t just NeNe who slammed the door shut on Kim’s Housewives career but Andy as well (Go Andy, it’s your birthday…). Kim showed up all season emotionally tardy for the party and positivity challenged, and also maybe her brain had been injected with Botox so it froze recollection of all her actions, words, and bad behaviors. How many times did Kim claim something didn’t happen then cut to footage of her saying some atrociously hideous lie?
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion was going so well until Kim Zolciak showed up. I mean, people with feuds as old as their suddenly rejuvenated (and impregnated) ovaries were having civil discussions about those times they accused each other of being prostitutes to one-eyed Africans (do neither Porsha Williams nor Kenya Moore STILL not understand that ‘one-eyed’ referred to the African’s “D” – not that he’s an actual cyclops. Now you know Kandi Burruss secretly wrote a “For The D” rap about that…). Then of course with all that peace, love, and Leave Will Alone, Kim Showed up.
Now that girl… Kim looked like she was wearing a Jessica Rabbit Halloween costume. And what on earth is Kroy Biermann doing with his life? He needs a Tabatha take over, because he’s apparently so depressed about being released from the NFL that he’s lost all purpose in life. It’s like the dude followed-up on a Craigslist post seeking personal assistant and wound up working for this crazy person who expects him to just follow around carrying her Solo cups and making sure all her outfits match said Solo cups – outfits he also has to pry her into using tweezers.