It was a night of changes galore for the ladies of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. And despite what Japanese fortunes may have predicted, everyone’s lives were shifting and sliding in various directions. Just like the empty old wine bottles Cynthia Bailey wants to affix to the walls of her new wine bar.
I mean Jesus told Cynthia to do it and she is a “prayer of Jesus” who says recycle thy juice of the holy spirit. Or maybe that’s just Cynthia’s way of hiding how much wine she and her fellow Housewives consume?
Porsha and Dennis McKinley visit some very posh baby store and look at convertible strollers. This spawns a serious discussion about their living situation. Like do they need FOUR $1,200 strollers or THREE $1,200 strollers?
After some hemming and hawing and hot dogging, Dennis admits that he’s ready to sell his bachelor pad. He’s having all the feels for Duluth, where Porsha lives in a house built for 2,000. As a newly divorced woman, she bought that enormous home for her future. Porsha had a prophecy of this house being filled with moldy vegan foods, half-styled Go Naked wigs, and photos of herself half-naked and somewhere in the finished basement, there would also be a husband, and a kid who can basically live in the adaptable stroller which has modes for newborn to age 5.
Anyway, that vision is all coming true. Also coming true is the possibility of a proposal. Dennis is describing how this could happen within the next 24 hours, when Porsha is distracted by what looks like “Kandi’s butt plugs” – in a baby store. As a mother, I loathe to admit that I know what those were: snot suckers for a baby’s nose. You’re welcome.
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Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker also have babies on the brain. Kandi is ready to move forward with a surrogate. However, Todd is just Toddy From The Bronx and the idea of some random woman he barely knows and isn’t with carrying his baby weirds him out. He’d rather just stay detached from the process and show up when the baby arrives. Kandi agrees it’s weird, but she is still ready to move forward with a surrogate who is a patient of Dr. Jackie Walters.
While Dr. Jackie plays baby broker in what seems like the plot of some scary Lifetime Movie, Todd will be busy at the new OLG Restaurant that day… for the next 9 months.
Unfortunately for Todd, when they visit Dr. Jackie to discuss their concerns, she surprises them by inviting the potential surrogate there to ask questions. She’s a labor and delivery nurse and seems nice, normal, professional, and very low-key. Kandi is smitten. Todd, well he’s still coming to terms with the idea of it all, but he wants Ace to have siblings. Is a surrogate sting operation really professionally ethical, Dr. Jackie?
Eva Marcille‘s wedding is 3 weeks away. Although nothing is done yet she’s still way, way over budget (way, way falling out of that tacky romper!) Unfortunately after burying her grandfather Eva doesn’t even have the energy to deal. Wedding plans are spiraling rapidly out of control.
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For instance: Eva is interviewing DJ’s while making family dinner. She’s got her friend, Seanita, who is a stylist (but not Eva’s stylist) sourcing reception gowns from all over the world because the one Eva wants to wear is no longer in production. After none of the dresses Seanita brings over are right, Eva collapses and pours herself a drink to sip while sobbing on the floor that she doesn’t even have a dress for her daughter Marley, and she’s spending a fortune.
So, maybe be LESS PICKY about your reception dress and figure out the necessities! Eva is being ridiculous. She is mysteriously super stressed out about what Mike Sterling’s mother thinks of everything. Does Eva feel guilty about having a child before marriage? Speaking of, does Eva EVER interact with Mike Jr?! I mean where is that baby?!?!
But Eva is not NEARLY as ridiculous as NeNe Leakes!! NeNe and Gregg are barely speaking. Now NeNe tells us that long before Gregg was diagnosed with cancer there were problems in their marriage. All those problems were Gregg’s fault because he was cranky and unhappy. Haven’t they only been re-married like 3 years?
NeNe doesn’t want to break her wedding vows because she loves Gregg. But she also doesn’t want to live an unhappy life! So what’s a girl to do but completely ignore her husband in the car as she drives him to the hospital before major surgery related to cancer treatment ( and drops him off at the front entrance!), then invites her girlfriends over for wine to complain some more about said husband?
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With Gregg too busy praying to Jesus for a cancer-free colon, NeNe is turning to Cynthia and Marlo Hampton for support. NeNe grumbles that Marlo can be “extra, extra read all about it!” But, then we see footage of Marlo at the hospital after Gregg got out of surgery, wheeling his hospital bed around as NeNe makes some kind of an IG Story post. So who is extra?!
Marlo and Cynthia were both there to support NeNe. Now, NeNe has basically left Gregg there to recover, while she is all alone in her huge house
hiring divorce attorneys, going to the bar by herself, and complaining that Gregg isn’t in the mood to socialize. Basically, NeNe doesn’t want to be alone, but she doesn’t want to be with Gregg… Sounds promising!
NeNe is so self-focused she even interrupts Marlo and Cynthia talking about how happy they are for Porsha to complain some more about her own life. Cynthia is too nice when she explains that although she understands NeNe’s feelings, it might behoove her to remember that GREGG is the one BATTLING CANCER. Vicki Gunvalson will take care of him! And bring casseroles! Call her!
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Now that Porsha remembers that she’s from Decatur, she and Shamari DeVoe get their men together for some harmless fun at the go-kart track and arcade. Shamari wanted to go there so Ronnie DeVoe could feel the success of winning at something in this decade. Dennis’s heart was obviously not in it because he was too busy thinking of the insane proposal he’s planning.
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While Shamari and Porsha are distracted playing pool, Dennis lets it slip to Ronnie that the big day is Friday. Ronnie is full of advice for how “son” should structure life and marriage – including lecturing Dennis on breaking the statistic of children growing up without fathers. Um, why does Ronnie, of the open marriage and cheating, consider himself an expert on male marriage responsibilities? He has the credibility of the booger Shamari oh-so helpfully picked out of his nose and wiped on his shirt.
However, the big day arrives! Dennis tells Porsha they are going on a helicopter for a charity event. When the day arrives she actually wants to cancel because she’s just not feeling it. Lauren convinced her to go. Porsha literally has NO IDEA what’s about to happen as Dennis leads her from the heliport down some stairs into an empty office suite strewn with roses where some photographers are assembled as Lil Mo sings their song.
I thought the whole thing was awkward. Like a romcom without the soft lighting and background music, but Porsha was overwhelmed with joy. Even though as Mo was serenading them and they didn’t seem to know what to do, except awkwardly hold each other while staring into each other’s faces. But, then Dennis got down on one knee and handed Porsha a ring the size of her brain. Obviously, she said yes. So despite the strange awkward spacing, the proposal was a success! Although Porsha isn’t sure she wants to walk down the aisle prego.
TELL US – ARE YOU HAPPY FOR PORSHA AND DENNIS? DO YOU THINK NENE AND GREGG WILL SLIPT AGAIN?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]