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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim got ready for Kroy to leave for training camp and the rest of the ladies planned their trip to South Africa! NeNe decided to really stir up the drama by sneak inviting Marlo, and telling nary a soul, but Cynthia. And, oh my, were the ladies surprised, but not thrilled when Marlo joined them at the departure gate!

Things begin at Marlo‘s house, and ok, call me crazy, but I love the decor and the color scheme. NeNe is impressed that Marlo read Kim and Kandi the riot act at Cynthia‘s agency opening and definitely didn’t back down. On the tour, NeNe discovers Marlo has a full security system installed in her house, which she can monitor from her bedroom! Who is she, Drita D’avanzio? Is she mistressed to the mob in secret?

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Marlo creepily covers NeNe‘s eyes and leads her to the secret chamber where she hides all her victims, aka her closet! NeNe is instantly in love and instantly decides that Marlo has met all her requirements for bestie: gets in Kim‘s face and has many, many designer clothes. NeNe, and myself, suddenly understand the need for a security system. Just what kind of johns boyfriends does Marlo have who are willing to pay for all this stuff? I dare say she has done better than Kim!

Cementing their new-found friendship and trying to bribe RHOA’s most notorious (re: famous), Marlo offers NeNe one of her Gucci bags. Over lunch served via private chef (is this a new thing in Housewives land?), NeNe is amazed by similarities between the two of them. She fills Marlo in on the Africa trip and explains why she has no desire to go: Phaedra and Sheree.

Marlo can’t imagine them going to the motherland acting crazy. Bwahaha! NeNe decides acting crazy is just what this trip needs to make it worth her while and decides to insta-invite her new BFFL, Marlo – and reminds her to bring some of those Chanel bags with her. NeNe’s got some borrowing to do!

NeNe is quite the schemer: The Talls against the The Smalls. NeNe is predicting drama and some serious gagging once the other ladies find out about Mugshot Marlo‘s attendance. Oh, lord. Excitement indeed!

At Kim‘s rent-a-mansion, she is talking weight loss and she has a new plan to drop lbs fast. And it definitely doesn’t involve the gym, which clearly is ineffective. Look at Kroy! Kim explains she has receipts that prove her theory that exercise is pointless, and instead she is going to pay $150 for a slim wrap. The wrap lady arrives, takes Kim’s measurements, and then binds her up in some $150 ace bandages. Kim looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!

Kim is instructed to keep moving around leisurely in order for the treatment to work. Kroy looks skeptical, and knows it doesn’t work, but helps her as she jostles on the trampoline and pushes the dog in the stroller, while talking about sexy times in front of her kids. Kim decides Kandi could really benefit from being wrapped up. Kim apparently lost 10.5 inches and is ready to order pizza.

Kandi, on the other hand, is working out with her trainer. Kandi’s trainer is shocked at the weight she has gained SINCE exercising and starts lecturing her about what she’s eating. Kandi agrees the Fat Albert act cannot go on if she wants to meet a man. Oh. My. Gosh – I cannot believe the exercise he was making her do! No wonder Kandi looks so good now!

At Cynthia‘s she is packing anything and everything in preparation to leave Peter for South Africa. What is the Muppet carpet in Cynthia’s dressing room. Cynthia is so excited about the break from her marriage, she is packing days in advance.

Peter comes in to help Cynthia choose outfits, and reveals he thinks Kim isn’t coming along because it’s SA and there are too many black people. I bet avoiding NeNe has more to do with her not going than anything else! Peter and Cynthia joke about her going on vacation to get away from him, and she does look very happy to escape.

At Phaedra‘s house of domestic tranquility, she is preparing dinner while Apollo feeds Ayden. Phaedra explains her feelings on Marlo since learning of her past as a violent offender. Everybody knows the only person with a rap sheet Phaedra hangs out with is her husband. Knowing Marlo’s history Phaedra reveals she is very, very wary about furthering a relationship with her! Phaedra and Apollo are such a cute, down to earth couple. I want more of this on Housewives!

Over dinner and talk of South Africa, Phaedra claims she actually wants NeNe to come on the trip, so she can have a new beginning with the women. Little does Phaedra know, NeNe has other motives!

NeNe and Marlo meet up to shop for the trip. What is NeNe’s assistant wearing? Why does NeNe have an assistant? NeNe’s other reason for going to Africa? To meet a rich, eligible man.

The ladies are label whore shopping, because that’s another thing they have in common.Oh dear… Is NeNe wearing sequined shorts? Taking a break for champers and gossip, NeNe and Mugshot Marlo are breaking down how they are going to deal with all the ladies, the drama, and the haters on this ten-day trip. Sheesh, this is a very complicated vacation that involves more negotiations than a UN summit. Marlo has serious apprehensions about Kandi, who she perceives as standoffish, and decides Kandi better talk to her or else!

NeNe is so thrilled Marlo will be by her side to combat hater chieftesses, Phaedra and Sheree, and to put Kandi in her place. Afterwards, NeNe checks out and when the very, very rich Ms. Leakes discovers her total is $10 grand she wants a refund – stat!

Kim learns the NFL Lockout is over! Kim and Kroy are going out to dinner before Kroy has to report to training camp. Kim looks like some sort of Barbie hooker and after “losing” all that weight is drinking a huge margarita!

Kroy is nervous about leaving his 8-week-old son in the hands of Kim and Sweetie! And I think we now have the answer to why Sweetie is no longer Kim’s assistant. Kroy muses that Sweetie needs to be organized herself if is in charge of managing Kim’s life. Kim to her credit, defends Sweetie, but it’s pretty clear Kroy isn’t a fan of her services!

Kim reveals she is going to be depending on Sweetie more than ever now that Kroy is leaving, because Kim parent and take care of her home? Nonsense! She has tanning, wigging, and shopping to do! Kim becomes emotional over Kroy’s leaving, but her false eyelashes prevent her from crying. Not trusting Kim Worried about his family, Kroy reveals he installed security cameras in the house, so he can keep an eye on things.

Kim has planned a special farewell surprise for Kroy, which involves setting the stage for some serious sexy times. It’s being arranged by her parents while she and Kroy are at dinner. Is that not a little weird to anyone else? Kim comes home early and things are not ready, so Kim and Kroy are left waiting awkwardly in the entryway while Sweetie hurries to finish up; annoying Kim who is totes not shocked things didn’t go according to plan. Apparently the only one capable of planning is Kroy – maybe she should hire him as her assistant.

While initiating the romances, Kim’s dad barges in and starts lecturing the couple on “being good” and not getting knocked up again. Oh dear, Kim’s parents are really umm… something, just like Kim!

Phaedra is leaving for Africa and excited about potential for Ayden and Apollo to bond as father and son while she is bonding with giraffes in the safari. After a little make-out scene in the back seat with her hubby, she’s off to the airport! Kandi is worried and something is telling her things might go wrong on this Bravo-planned vacation. She is seriously concerned about it turning into non-stop drama, which is not what she had in mind for her first trip to South Africa, and she is wondering if all the activities will be divided into smalls vs. talls. Sheree‘s strategy for avoiding the drama is to totally ignore NeNe. Nonetheless, everyone is in a good mood at the departure gate and waiting for NeNe… and unbeknownst to them, Marlo!

It’s the day Kroy is leaving and he will be gone for a month for training camp. Kim is very upset about the prospect of being left alone. Kroy says good-bye to the girls and Kim. It was kind of a sad scene and you can tell they will really miss each other. Was anyone else waiting on bated breath for him to propose before he pulled away?

Finally, NeNe gets to the airport and just when everyone things it’s time to go, NeNe warns them to wait for Marlo to get her stuff! The silence was drop dead and palpable. Phaedra‘s expression and Kandi‘s forced tone of voice – haha! Phaedra is very disappointed she wasn’t warned in advance, but what’s a little more spice in the gumbo, right?!

Wasn’t NeNe the one who was upset about extraneous friends on last year’s Miami excursion? Nonetheless, Kandi explains that NeNe just needs some extra muscle, and given her experience in the penitentiary and her height, Marlo would make good muscle!

Next Week: Things start off on the right foot and quickly end up on the wrong! You can’t stuff a size 39 shoe on a size 40 foot, after all!

Watch What Happens Live: The guests are Sherri Shepherd and Yvette Nicole Brown for WWHL’s BFF fest! The celebrity bartender is PA Omari, and Sherri jokes that it’s a good things she’s married or she’d be “straight cougar.” hehe

The ladies are flummoxed by Marlo‘s house, specifically how she can afford her lavish lifestyle. Andy shows a still of the Talls. vs. Smalls or the designer vs. sweats, which I didn’t even notice! Yvette and Sherri are on opposite sides of the equation – Sherri is going Talls and Yvette is going Smalls.

Sherri is shocked by Kim‘s parents and thinks Kim’s dad ruined the mood! Yvette would rather wrap than work out with Kandi‘s trainer. A caller wonders if Yvette and Sherri would kick Marlo off the trip? Sherri would more than willingly let Marlo know she was not invited and needed to go back home!

A caller confuses Yvette with Octavia Spencer and asks her about starring in The Help. Oops. The game is: Wig, Weave, or Weal? I love that game! Kandi Tweets that her game picture hair was actually real – not a weave as the ladies suspected! Sherri wants NeNe to join The View – and you know, that actually would be an interesting addition!

Steven Tyler is Jackhole of the Week for his horrible rendition of The National Anthem! C0-signed, Andy!

The Poll Question: Who would you least want to sit next to on a 20 hour flight? Sherri doesn’t want to sit by Phaedra and Yvette is afraid of Marlo. Sadly for NeNe she wins hands down and no one wants to sit by her. Who else thinks Kim was voting over and over?

SHOULD NENE HAVE INVITED MARLO ON THE TRIP WITHOUT WARNING THE OTHER LADIES? ARE NENE AND MARLO REALLY FRIENDS?

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