Shahs of Sunset is back with a vengeance – so much drama already!
This week picks up exactly were we left off. Mercedes "MJ" Javid has just informed Lilly Ghalichi that she has no friends on Shahs of Sunset. Season two mean girls, Reza Farahan and Asa Soltan Rahmati, seem desperate to redeem themselves with viewers, and MJ is more than happy to let Lilly know she's overstayed her welcome.
Reza complains about how Lilly acts like she is above the rest of the group – yes, really – and he's proud of MJ for finding her voice. Wait. Let me get this straight. A few months ago, MJ was a sloppy pill popping lying alcoholic, but now she's appropriately reacting to the hate that Lilly spews? Got it.
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi thinks Lilly's right, in this instance, but she chooses not to speak up. I have a feeling she comes to regret this.
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MJ thinks she's winning. Winning what? If she means the lottery of decent friends, she's sadly mistaken. "Lilly thought I was a joke," she says. "She thought she could undermine me and not have any respect for me. I had to tolerate it for a while, but I'm not going to have to anymore. Obviously I win."
So, Lilly's gone home to Coconut, and the others move onto a nightclub. The club has lady dancers, and GG's Sean is enjoying the view. GG picks a fight with Sean. MJ rolls her eyes, complaining, "Every single time we go out, GG and Sean are fighting to the point of, like, TMZ." Huh? Didn't MJ just meet Sean a few days prior to GG's dinner? At any rate, Reza tells MJ that GG was making out with a different guy at Lilly's birthday party, and MJ runs right to Sean with this info. Reza's grinning like the Cheshire Cat. GG lies – denies it.
MJ and Reza leave the club. Their work there is done, I guess.
Lilly needs a scene – her 296 other close friends are busy so she takes her hairstylist out to lunch. She orders shrimp, mac and cheese, chicken cups, pizza, and meatballs. Lilly's like, food is so groSSS and I don't enjoy eatINGGG it, but I'm going to force it because I want to, like, weigh 105 pouNDSSS. And I started at, like, 97 pounds, and I ate my way up to 103 pouNDSSS, but carrying all this hair around, like, burns so many calorIESSS! Ugh. So now I'm probably back down to 97 pouNDSSS. Life is so hARDDD.
In other Lilly news, she's really disappointed in her Shahs of Sunset co-stars, especially Asa and Reza.
Next Reza and MJ are working on their friendship by talking shit about their other friends. Nice. Reza says he "bailed" on MJ. Quite the understatement, no? "This year, it's all about Team MJ," he reports. "I've got my pom poms ready, bitch. I'm going to be her cheerleader." Nice try, Reza. We still hate you.
GG calls MJ, who's very passive aggressive during the call, and asks to stop by. While they wait, Reza and MJ crack a few jokes at GG's expense, and MJ brushes off the notion that there was "malicious intent" behind her talking to Sean. Of course there was! These people bleed jealous hate these days.
GG arrives, asks MJ why she told Sean about Shayan, the guy she made out with at Lilly's party. MJ laughs, asking, "Is it my fault you can't go one night without attention from a man?" GG's like, no, but you didn't need to involve yourself in it either. I have to agree, especially since MJ wasn't even AT THE PARTY! If MJ was that bothered by GG's hypocrisy, she should have talked to her privately. I'm sad. I enjoy MJ, but I can't get behind MJ with Reza, playing these kind of games.
In grown up news, Mike Shouhed and his family plan a party for his brother, who just graduated from dental school. Mike, a law school drop out, is proud of his bro but feels the pressure to be more than Reza's real estate bitch.
Asa, wearing a caftan and carrying a smoke stick, shows up at the Diamond Water bottling company to clear the energy. She needs to make sure only love goes into the bottles of Diamond Water. Asa walks around the plant, spreading smoke and chanting about happiness, kindness, passion, and understanding.
The workers are like, the f–k?!? Asa goes on and on about picking California sage under a full moon and California energy being Native American energy. Then I'm like, the f–k?!? Asa explains, "A priestess gotta do what a priestess gotta do." I almost want to hear more about Lilly's extra six pounds right now.
GG visits her sister, learns MJ's dropping the ball on listing Leila's house for rent. GG calls MJ – no answer. Leila calls MJ – answer on the first ring. GG talks – MJ fakes a bad connection. GG hangs up – blames salami. Once a connection is re-established, Leila defends MJ when it comes to the house and divorce related messes, but she isn't happy about personal feelings getting in the way of business.
GG says to MJ, "If your work ethic is anything like your friendship ethic, this is going to be a f–king hot mess." GG hangs up – again – and eats more salami.
It's party time! The Shouhed party? Ah-mazing – all the food, alcohol, and music you could ever want and obviously 100% more fun and authentic than Lilly's birthday party. Mike's family is precious – and Jessica is a lucky lady!
Reza can't help shading Mike. "How does it feel to be the least accomplished Shouhed brother?" Mike responds, if he were more accomplished, he wouldn't be slumming around with a jerk like Reza. Love it!
MJ arrives, greets everyone. Well, almost everyone. She greets Leila, "the skinnier, taller sister", but ignores GG. Reza finds it hilarious, and he can't seem to keep his hands off of MJ tonight. During dinner, there's an empty seat next to GG, so MJ asks her if she's lonely. She has a bit of Vida in her, doesn't she? MJ throws flower petals at GG, and she does the same, because that's what children do. MJ only sees GG's behavior, not her own or the fact that she started it. She snarks, "Princess is not satisfied with the way I've greeted her."
Everyone is dancing and having a great time, then GG decides to go outside to
spread love energy smoke. Reza and MJ follow – Reza's stirring the pot, as always, and Leila's encouraging GG to talk to MJ. MJ comes over, pets GG and helps herself to a sip of her drink. They argue a bit. GG walks away.
Once she has calmed down, GG asks MJ to come outside with her so they can talk about the incident at the club. MJ laughs it off, again, and GG loses her mind. We knew it was coming, right?!? MJ says, "You're hyper paranoid!," to which GG says, "My ass!" MJ starts to fuss with GG's necklace. GG rips off the necklace, yelling, "I want to know what the f–k I did to you!"
Leila approaches, implores GG to get up. GG resists. But, her head is about to pop off, so her sister demands that she get up and leave. NOW.
On the way out, GG says about MJ, "She has her best friend [Reza] back, she doesn't need me." #TrueStory Meanwhile, MJ says, "Golnesa was treating me like a psychotic jealous ex-boyfriend. I'm sick and tired of seeing it. I'm done."
TELL US – YOUR THOUGHTS? DO YOU FEEL SORRY FOR GG?
Photo credit: Bravo
Girl on the right is contemplating a career change.