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We return to Playa del Carmen, Mexico, where the ladies are on their first real cast trip. Doesn’t it seem like all the franchises end up in Mexico at one point or another? Now it’s time for The Real Housewives of DallasKameron Westcott has rules for a quality vacation, Cary Deuber gets called out for being a know it all and LeeAnne Locken is ready to boil over. What could possibly go wrong?

Everyone’s getting in their swimsuits to go fight lay out by the beach. D’Andra Simmons‘ suit is new, don’t tell Mama Dee. Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman are giggling like schoolgirls over their secret surprise, an XL dildo deemed “sexual chocolate”. Brandi can barely contain herself as she slips it inside D’Andra’s bag. Apparently, she’s the ‘conservative’ one on the trip… There’s lots of tequila, consumption of worms and grasshoppers. Kameron is learning a lot while watching D’Andra chowing away on some crispy worms. Grabbing her bag, D’Andra spots the dildo right away and pulls it out. Cary flees. Is it too much? Not according to her who claims to have nonstop sex.

Kameron is repulsed by the dildo planted in D'Andra's beach bag.

Kameron is DISGUSTED by the dildo’s appearance. It’s simply “not what she does on vacation”. Brandi taunts each lady with the large toy, chasing down Kameron yelling, “are you mad it’s not pink?!” Kameron would understand Brandi better if she just had more of a sense a humor. It’s not that serious. Instead of laughing it off so it will just go away, she goes on and on how disrespected she feels. Once it’s finally buried in the sand, the Pink Princess goes on to say how she was raised differently. In her interview, LeeAnne views it as a commentary on class and Brandi’s stature in society.  Brandi calls it out – citing Kameron for thinking she’s better than all the others. Kameron maintains that she’s just uncomfortable. Brandi ends it, “you’re not my kind of fun”.

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Later, Stephanie feels Kameron wants her and Brandi to be someone they’re not. Once again, Cary claims that she doesn’t want to be in the middle. So, she splits from the group, taking Stephanie and Brandi with her to keep talking about her roommate Kameron. Out of nowhere, these people come by to massage their feet. The other camp, (D’Andra, LeeAnne and Kameron) convenes sans foot rub. LeeAnne points out that whenever Kameron is offended, Brandi takes it as Kameron being better than her. She goes on to say that unlike Brandi and Stephanie, she always has to own up to her bad behavior.  Back at beach chairs, Cary jokes that she “heard” LeeAnne’s [secret fiancé] Rich has a small penis and that it’s embarrassing. The other two enjoy the foot rub and she goes on, telling the girls she heard it from a good source. Ugh, shut up.

In an odd montage of events, Stephanie FaceTime’s her husband Travis Hollman who looks like he’s on the toilet. Cary twerks. Kameron assures us she won’t be trying to do it. We can only assume that’s another thing she “doesn’t do on vacation”. Down the hall, LeeAnne and D’Andra are getting ready to go out. LeeAnne mentions, “tonight’s the night” and D’Andra instantly looks nervous. Before she can pull out her index finger to scold LeeAnne, she shows off her engagement ring. D’Andra is genuinely happy for her friend, tearing up and feeling proud. She says they are both bonded over not wanting to die alone. Both are in healthy, loving relationships and all is well with the world.

Apparently, things got so bad with Dildo-gate earlier; they already need a “reset dinner”. So Cary and D’Andra “host” the supper – whatever that means. All the ladies look nice and beachy. They tease there are some surprises planned, but nothing offensiveBrandi pipes up, asking the table if they’re sure Kameron won’t be offended. Kam takes the bait, going on about a ‘boundary of inappropriateness’ and how the dildo was inappropriate and that she’s ‘not the kind of girl’ who goes to strip clubs. Flashback: Brandi (fully clothed) on a strip club stage having the time of her life.  She asks, “As mothers, why would you go to a strip club?” Stephanie speaks up, calling out Kameron for judging.  Now Kam feels judged for being conservative. Brandi fires back, letting the future pink dog food mogul know that she doesn’t judge someone because she doesn’t have a Highland Park zip code. Here we go… Kameron shoots back asking why Brandi brought up the zip codes. Cary jumps in and admits to telling Brandi that Kam did gossip about Brandi not residing in the DALLAS zip codes. [SMH once again at Cary].

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To make matters worse, Brandi expresses that Kameron is being shallow. Kameron proudly says that she doesn’t talk about passing gas at a beautiful dinner table and that Dallas society talks poorly about Stephandi, calling their behavior “disgusting”. Brandi sums up the difference being that Kameron cares about what everyone in Dallas thinks and she simply doesn’t. Cary BELCHES and ends the conversation. We wonder what Dallas society would have to say about that? The dinner takes a left turn when LeeAnne announces her engagement and shows off her huge ring. LeeAnne tells them of how Rich proposed at the Texas State Fair.  D’Andra beams with happiness for her friend and proposes a toast.

It’s now day two in Mexico and LeeAnne wakes up with about 5 pill bottles next to her. No doubt she’s still in pain from getting a boob job by a vagina doctor. (We kid) She and D’Andra wish for a chill day to just celebrate the engagement. Not going to happen. LeeAnne opens up about being anxious telling the group of her engagement and being thrown off by Cary’s reaction. Cary even had to try on the ring. Really? D’Andra says LeeAnne is taking the bait every time. Cut to: Cary innocently doing yoga to Pachelbel Canon in D. Cut Back to LeeAnne admitting to being high strung and angry towards the ‘know it all’. Tapping her foot and nervous, LeeAnne listens to D’Andra talk her into a new, compassionate approach; one that will change things with restraint and pull from her therapy. LeeAnne says she learned she can only control what SHE says and does and that’s the plan.

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Later, Stephanie takes the biggest bubble bath ever. Brandi plops down for a glass of bubbly champagne. The two soul sisters wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Outside, KameronD’Andra and LeeAnne head off to the spa, and Kameron is all about it. This IS what she does on vacation. She lets us know that she doesn’t stoop to the level of Brandi’s vacation standards, rather she prefers the spa, tennis and nature hikes. Back in the tub, Brandi and Stephanie goof over the bubbles having to be pink for Kameron. They both share a laugh over why it’s so hard for people to get Brandi’s sense of humor.

The final act rounds out at an awesome in cave dinner. The ladies pound shots; Kameron is only good for three. Cary and LeeAnne indirectly square off over speaking Spanish. Cary claims to only know “ER Spanish”, while LeeAnne knows “Working Spanish”. At this point LeeAnne has had it with Cary being a know it all. Brandi proposes playing Two Truths and a Lie at the table. The wheels start turning in LeeAnne’s head as she struggles to keep herself at a simmer instead of boiling over as Cary messes up the game. Brandi goes first and says some people are “really good at lying”. Cary uses her time to call out LeeAnne about why she told Brandi she was going to strangle her. Rightfully so, Brandi clarifies that she never said “strangle”. LeeAnne’s answer is, “Yes, I wish you were the only person that I threatened to kill”. Nonchalant, yet honest. Team LeeAnne (D’Andra and Kameron) quietly take shots as this unfolds.

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LeeAnne asks Brandi to explain what got her to that point of anger. Brandi mentions it came from Cary’s comments about LeeAnne’s doctor. Cary maintains that the doctor is only an OBGYN. Brandi is honest, telling Cary that she’s put down all their plastic surgeons in the past and she was upset because Cary said her Doc killed people on the operating table. Cary flat out denies this. LeeAnne remains in control, not blowing her lid. Cary comes back saying that Brandi’s doctor has never killed anyone…that she knows of. She goes on to say that if someone did kill a patient it wouldn’t be any sweat off of her back. (No, only a lawsuit)

At this point, Cary is upset with Brandi for amping her up to fight with LeeAnne only to bail on her. Cary has to face the music alone on this one. She continues to refute all comments about Dr. Death, telling Brandi she 100% made it up. Even Stephanie agrees that Brandi called her and told her the same thing. The ladies are at a stalemate and LeeAnne didn’t have to say a thing.

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? WHO’S LYING? CARY OR BRANDI?

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Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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