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RHONY season 8

Tonight The Real Housewives Of New York is back for its 8th season! I’m excited – are you excited? Gearing up for an emotional season of love won and lost, businesses besieged, booze, besties ripped apart, health issues, and a new Housewife, Bethenny Frankel compares it to a “natural disaster” and warns things get crazier than ever. 

“It’s one of my favorite seasons despite the fact that I’m going to have to go into the witness-protection program,” Bethenny jokes. “I just say exactly how I feel, and I felt a lot of feelings and I was not afraid to express them.”

“It’s more raw and real than ever,” she adds “It’s always been real, but it’s not sensationalized. It’s so dynamic, and shocking, unbelievable things occur. There’s not a lot of foreplay. We get right to the wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

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Ariana and Tom

The Vanderpump Rules reunion has come and gone. Despite the fighting and the accusations, Tom Sandoval says the cast is still friends and knows how “ridiculous” they behave. Although he does call out some of these so-called close friendships as being more like allies than true friendships. 

Clearing the air about some of what went down at the reunion, Tom’s animosity towards Kristen Doute came from something he recently learned. Tom explains, “Two weeks prior to shooting the reunion, I found out that Kristen had slept with my best friend and former band mate while we were together.” Kristen “of course” denied this.

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Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes The Road to Riches

Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes were supposed to have a spinoff about road-tripping and ego-tripping together, but with the demanding schedules of the equally demanding stars, Bravo pulled the plug on the planned Road To Riches. Sadly.

The two former-ish Real Housewives Of Atlanta stars aren’t ready to let their road-tripping dreams die just yet. Kim and NeNe are reportedly “back in talks” with Bravo to give their show another shot.

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NeNe Leakes RHOA Reunion

NeNe Leakes returned to Real Housewives Of Atlanta to remind these ‘babies’ how Big Momma built this house! In a white, sequined catsuit from the figure skating house of horrors, NeNe sent Porsha Williams back to school, and let Sheree Whitfield know all is forgiven, so Sheree can bow down at any time to kiss NeNe’s Louboutins!

“Obviously I have been at every reunion for the past eight seasons and things have definitely changed over the years,” NeNe reminds us. One thing that has definitely changed is NeNe embracing Sheree! “Having Sheree back as one of the original girls I started with was great.” 

Continuing with her Housewives Helpers, above, NeNe suggests, “READ dumb bitches then smile.”

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap

Last night, the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills wrapped up their trip to Dubai and Lisa Rinna had an epiphany: she’s not gonna become the collateral damage of two narcissists with queen complexes, also known as Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda Foster. Lipsa has diagnosed and labeled them as “hating each other” (medical name haterificaious bitcheria). There we have it – Lipsa has solved the mystery of whodunnit with the Munchausen in the Kyle Konservatory with the ulterior motive.

Our first clue that nothing is going well – the ladies can’t manage to enjoy 5-star shopping without bitching. Just buy shoes and shhhhhh! In a mall that engulfs the Mall Of America, then spits it out, chewed up and mangled, onto its ice rink, the 5-story mall of Dubai chauffeurs them around from luxury store to luxury store in Bentley golf carts. There goes LVP‘s cardio!

Lipsa wore her walking sneakers, unnecessarily. She had to put them to good use though, because – ugh, comfort shoes! – so she decided to walk all over the friendship of LVP!

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Scheana Marie Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Reunion

This season of Vanderpump Rules hasn’t been too kind to Scheana Marie as she spewed uneducated nonsense about her husband Shay’s addiction, threw her bestie Ariana Madix under the bus for the ‘Cool girls’, and texted Ariana’s mom negative things about Tom Sandoval

Still defending those texts, Scheana is adamant she will “never apologize” for her feelings. “At the time I sent them, I felt that way about Tom,” she explains. “HE made me feel that way.”

Scheana continues, “I don’t know how many times I have to emphasize that she [Ariana‘s mom Tanya] reached out first and was just as much a part of that conversation as I was.”

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Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian Engaged

Well, well… true love in famewhore paradise! In what is truly and insanely a bizarre love story the elusive Rob Kardashian is now engaged to Blac Chyna, the former bestie of Kim Kardashian (the sister Rob despises) and former fiancè (and baby mama) of Kylie Jenner‘s boyfriend Tyga

After distancing himself from his family and Keeping Up With The Kardashians while battling weight issues and depression, Rob started dating Blac Chyna two months ago. Blac, a former Kardashian family friend, thanks to her affiliation to Tyga, quickly turned pariah over her arguments with Kylie. Yet she managed to snag Rob’s affections while Kris Jenner‘s back was turned. Love is a battlefield, I suppose!

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James Kennedy Vanderpump Rules Reunion

On part 3 of the Vanderpump Rules reunion, James Kennedy gave out “ass holes” galore. Most of them deserved. Although James calling anyone an asshole is the very definition of “irony” – look it up in the Bravo Dictionary! Far from being The White Kanye West, James is more accurately the less stupidly-haired Donald Trump

Alas, before James opens his can of asshole with the index finger of doom, Stassi Schroeder argues with Lisa Vanderpump about her sex tape. Did we ever figure out why the hell Stassi Does Dildos is only worth $900? Honestly I would expect it to be more like $9.99 clearance, but I mean, whatever whets your whistle! Stassi accuses Lisa of asking her parents to repay the money, and is furious Lisa didn’t demand Stassi’s”ex-boyfriend” sign a contract after getting paid, nor did LVP get the footage back. Exactly what was Stassi doing while Lisa was combing the slums of Beverly Hills like an Archer episode to recon a sex tape absolutely no one but Scheana Marie wanted to watch? 

No one cares about Stassi and her sex tape, (except for Kristen Doute, who keeps trying to interrupt until Lisa instructs her to “shut up”).

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